Some people you cant get along with.
Help, I can't seem to keep my nerve!
by restrangled 20 Replies latest jw friends
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restrangled
Just have to add one more thing, recently she stated that my fathers retirement fund would go to my brother and I IF WE QUIT smoking, otherwise straight to the society.
I use to be the the person in charge of her estate but she has transfered it to one of my cousins who has lived a life beyond belief and ofcourse never a witness.
I still want to scream!
r.
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My MILs worst nightmare, a nonJW
I'll be happy to pay for a therapist.
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OUTLAW
Your mom needs to be put in her place,Pronto!..Tell her if she keeps up her crap,you`ll find a nice Catholic Retirement Home for her when the time comes..Tell her you`ll find one with large nuns who don`t like mouthy Jehovah`s Witness`s..LOL!!...OUTLAW
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restrangled
Outlaw,
Great idea, but I have to make sure they have a smoking area for me!!!!
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OUTLAW
Restrangled..Your mom can sit in the smoking room with you.Everytime she opens her mouth,a big nun can rap her across the knuckles with a wooden ruler..LOL!!...OUTLAW
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restrangled
Outlaw,
Do you remember the TV commercial for the "Clapper"?
Don't you wish you could invent something so that when a JW started on their tirade, you could clap your hands twice and they would immediately shut up ? You could sell them to every home owner in the world. You could retire as a billionaire. It would have to have a catchy name. What would you call it ?
r
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jgnat
From hubby: She works herself into a lather and you become the sole focus of her JW rants. You sit there and say nothing. When her toungue lashing is through, you politely excuse yourself.
I think you can learn to set limits with your mom.
- Make a list of unacceptable behavior from your mom. Decide what topics are off-limits.
- Decide what you will do if your mom roams in to forbidden territory. You might hang up the phone or leave her home early.
- Warn your mom that these topics are too distressing, and they must stop. Tell her what will happen if she continues.
- When mom behaves well, reward her well. Help her with her renovations, have a good bottle of wine, whatever.
- When she breaks the limit, FOLLOW THROUGH.
- It will be painful at first, but then you will feel deliciously LIBERATED.
Restrangled: recently she stated that my fathers retirement fund would go to my brother and I IF WE QUIT smoking, otherwise straight to the society.
You know that is emotional manipulation and absolutely unacceptable, don't you? Hey it's her inheritance and she can do with it what she wants. Tell her so. Give her permission to send it all to the Flat Earth Society if she so wishes. You'll love her anyways and it will have NO EFFECT on your smoking. It's your life.
This is a very important conversation to have with your mom, otherwise she may mistakenly believe you only love her for her money, or that she somehow controls your love for her. How cheap is that?
Mom played the inheritance game on me (she has three children to play with) and it didn't stop until I said, "Good for you mom. It's your money and you should do with it whatever you want." I made sure my voice remained pleasantly neutral. She never tried it again.
Another time mom tried to sue me for back-pay for babysitting my children for a month. She'd got in to trouble because she spent the babysitting fee and more taking care of them. I got very businesslike with her, "Very well, I'll need receipts." Mom sputtered, and it took a week for her to mail them to me. I put them in date order and called her back, "You will have to explain some of these amounts. It appears you have claimed some receipts twice." Mom hung up, and dropped the idea of suing me. I didn't use her as babysitter any more, either. But the point is, you can stop childish behavior by being the adult.
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OUTLAW
Restrangled..I would call it "Shut the F**k Up!"..LOL!!...OUTLAW
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XU
jnat has really good advice. Recently I struggled with setting limits with my parents - mom especially. I couldn't take the rejection always hanging over my head. So I decided to ask them to do a better job of shunning me and not call or email for random reasons. I even deleted an email account, so now they would have to physically show up at my house if they ever decided to. Surprising I feel a lot better - like I am worth having boundaries and a bottom level of acceptable treatment. However, sometimes I feel like I over-reacted, but I still feel good about it. Sometimes you need a break.