"I used to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Then I raised my standards."
The Best One-liners for Witnesses
by gordon d 36 Replies latest jw friends
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toreador
Even the NWT reads, "Do not put your trust in earthling men " The WTS is governed by "earthling men."
Nice one!
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jwfacts
There are a number of questions that I could not reconcile at http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/questions.htm
Why do you think most people are so bad God will destroy them?
Why does the Watchtower teach that Jesus is not our mediator?
If there have always been JWs who were they before Russell?
Which Jehovah's Witnesses did Russell get his teachings from?
Why is 607 used for calculating 1914 when virtually all historians and other religions say it was 587 B.C.
Why has the New World Translation added the word Jehovah to the New Testament when it does not appear in a single discovered document? If God did not prevent his name being removed from the bible how can I trust anything else in the bible?
Blood
What parts of blood can be used? * Minor fractions Don’t fractions of blood come from stored blood? * Yes, but using them is a conscience matter If you can take blood fractions can you donate blood? * No * Doesn’t that seem like a double standard?
Jehovah's Witnesses worship Jesus until the 1950’s, isn't that a significant doctrinal change? Wasn't the organization cleaned of false doctrine in 1919?
Haven't Jehovah’s Witnesses had a number of false time of the end prophesies? * They were not false, they we’re just incomplete. You would have to agree 1914 was a turning point in history. How about other years like 1925? Millions Now Living Will Never Die p.89 said that " we may confidently expect that 1925 will mark the return of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the faithful prophets of old”. The Watchtower Society even built a house called Beth Sarim for them. Isn’t that a false prophesy?
Directed by Holy Spirit Does Holy Spirit direct the Watchtower Society when it forms doctrine? * Yes Does Holy Spirit direct the Watchtower Society when it appoints elders? * Yes * Are elders ever appointed when they have been committing serious wrongs?
What scripture shows that it would only be the Watchtower Society that is directed by Holy Spirit? * The parable of the Faithful and Discreet slave showed that in the last days Jehovah would choose a special group of people. When were they chosen? * Though the Watchtower Society was formed in the 1800’s it was not until 1919 that they were chosen, once they had cleansed themselves of false doctrine * But in 1919 they were still teaching about pyramids, and that the resurrection was going to come in 1925, and that Jesus should be worshipped, and celebrating birthdays and Christmas
Why have there been all these wrong doctrine if holy spirit directs the Watchtower Society? * Proverbs said that the light would get brighter * I was reading that the Watchtower said everyone was going to heaven in 1878 and then it would be 1914 and then 1925 and now it is still in the future? A lot of these things sound like it’s a different light, not brighter.
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uninformed
I finally examined the religion that told me to tell everyone else to examine their religion.
Brant
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Kudra
I finally took the time to actually study the Witnesses and found everything they teach to be morally, logically, ethically, biblically, emotionally and spiritually wrong.
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Abandoned
I waved bye bye to the jw when I realized the truth had waved bye bye to them.
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Abandoned
My most recent encounter at the mall went like this:
Elder: Hi, W! Haven't seen you in a long time! Are you living in this neighbourhood again?
Me: F*ck off, bitch!
Normally I wouldn't act like that, but he was a bastard to me the whole time I was a JW. He knows I'm out now, and as far as I'm concerned his initiating conversation with me was just leading up to his saying something ignorant to me. I decided to beat him to the punch.
W
OMG! I love that. I attended a class on humor writing this past weekend and one of the things I learned was how subjective the idea of what's funny is. The instructor, although she did a fine job with the rest of the course, spent way too much time TELLING us what was funny and what wasn't. Now, here's a perfect example. The instructor wouldn't think this was funny in the least - too mean -but I, on the other hand, am going to chuckle about this all evening.