Jehovah's witnesses in the movies.... funny stuff!

gordon d

This is a variation from the previous post:
"Learning to Substitute JW terms and phrases for REAL ones, for example"
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/123548/1.ashx

This is what Dubs might say and how it's been said in movies.

JW---"Son have you considered commiting your life to Jehovah and getting baptized?"
It's a practice that was called 'hobbling' now hold still my darling!"---Kathy Bates...Misery

JW---"Would you like a free in home bible study?"
"How much for the little girl... your women.. How much for them?"
---John Belushi...Blues Brothers

JW---knock knock "Good morning I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses and we're out......
"My name's Gump...Forrest Gump..people call me Forrest Gump"
---Tom Hanks...Forrest Gump

JW---"Can it really be wise to focus on such worldly things as pursuing an education?"
"Benjamin Franklin is the DEBUL!
---Kathy Bates...The Waterboy

JW---"Brother, the Elders and I would like to talk with you about your recent conduct"
"I'll cast you down with the sodomites...you'll think you've been f#@$ed by a train!"
---Warden Norton...Shawshank Redemption

JW---"So you went in field service with the CO's wife?"
"Does she show pleasant enthusiasm when you mount her?
---Cheif Dan George...Little Big Man

JW---"I sure got a lot out of the recent assembly"
"I think somebody crapped in my mouth while I was asleep!"
---Emelio Estevez...Garbage Men

JW---"Easter celebrations are an horrific example of the Pagan influence on Christendom"
"C'mon boy...Get mad at them damn eggs"
---George Kennedy...Cool Hand Luke

JW---"Brothers, I've given this a lot of thought and prayer and I would like to be reinstated"
"Sure, you can plug me back into the Matrix...but I don't wanna know nothing..NOTHING!"
---Cypher...The Matrix

JW---"I would like to thank Brother xxx for his uplifting message...certainly, the light IS getting brighter"
"What'll the A--hole think up next?"
---Slim Pickens...Blazing Saddles

JW---"Brothers to prevent the humiliation of being DF'd, I've decided to dis-associate myself"
"You can't kill me...I'm already dead!"
---Charles Manson...Helter Skelter

JW---"I don't think your point is in keeping with the information we've recieved from the FDS"
"You D!@K!"
---Jeff Spicoli...Fast Times at Ridgemont High

JW---"I sure feel guilty for allowing myself to miss the last assembly"
"I'm so excited...It's the joy only a free man can get on the start of a long journey"
---Morgan Freeman...Shawshank Redemption

JW---"He met with the elders on the JC last night... they DF's him"
"He crawled through 500 yards of smelling human foulness, I can only imagine and came out clean on the other side"
---Morgan Freeman...Shawshank Redemption

JW---"The FDS certainly prepared a lot of spiritual food for our enjoyment at the last assembly"
"Gaarrguuuhhhgg!!!"
---Linda Lovelace...Deepthroat

ANY MORE?????

hambeak

Funny good laugh for the day

gordon d

One More...

JW Elder---"Thanks for coming in to visit with us on the JC...I think were through here"
"NO Butch...I ain't finished by a damn site...I'm gonna get a couple of my heavy-hitting n!$$uz over here with a pair a pliers and a blow torch and get midieval on his hill-billy a$$"
---Ving Rhames---Pulp Fiction

StillGroggy

that last one killed me

Elder #1 "Well, would you like to open this JC with a word of prayer, Elder #2?"
Elder #2 "We gunna make you squeal like a pig, boi!"
Elder #3 "You gotta perty mouth!"

- deliverance

gordon d

LMAO!!!! That's just wrong!

onesong

Watchtower conductor- "Let's keep our comments concise and right out of the article."

"You'd shut up if you knew what was good for ya, you pumpkin pie haircutted freak." Dumb and Dumber

morty

JW---"I don't think your point is in keeping with the information we've recieved from the FDS"
"You D!@K!"
---Jeff Spicoli...Fast Times at Ridgemont High

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

StillGroggy

Doctor: "Do you understand your son will die without this transfusion!"
Witness: "If he dies, he dies"

- Rocky

Mystla

JW---"He met with the elders on the JC last night... they DF's him"
"He crawled through 500 yards of smelling human foulness, I can only imagine and came out clean on the other side"
---Morgan Freeman...Shawshank Redemption

Laughed til I cried, thanks for the workout!

Jehovah's witnesses in the movies.... funny stuff!

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