So, I havent been posting much of late, I found that I have needed to have a little mental break from the whole fading/falling away thing. Sorry about that. Please dont take it personal. I would like to hope that one day I/We will be able to fully stand on my own, and then truly help others. My Point: We have a post box for our mail at the post office, and I was just heading out to check our mail when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a car pulling up out front of our home. I regonize it straight away, one of the "elders"! Infact it was two of them. One was the PO when we were "in" and the other was the WT conductor I think. I stopped my car and walked over to them. Kept them talking right at the kerb. Didnt invite them in. [Why should the wife and children suffer too!!] They just called in to see how we are. They expressed some concern that we may be feeling neglected! [Well it is nearly 1.5 years since we stepped foot in that KH people] So we made some very light chat for a time, about life and being busy blah blah blah. Rivetting stuff. One pulled out the new tract and asked if we have one, Yes I say, my son took one and then tore it to pieces when we weren't home. The WT guy says they did want to clarify two things. 1) They have heard something about a birthday celebration? I shook my head. I said that whether we did or didnt it is no one elses business, and if he got his bible he wouldnt be able to find the scripture that directly says you can't. 2) People are saying that we are free of the witnesses? To which I replied that you can never be free of it!! So I ask, where do people come up with this stuff? I haven't seen anybody, or talked to anybody for a long time? So he ducks fro cover and doesn't want to identify any particular source and says well people talk you know, nobody that we know though! I tell them that I am happy the way things are at the moment. I dont feel that we are neglected. They are welcome to call in every now and then. I dont want to change anything as my inlaws are getting on and they will need us in the not distant future to look after them and it will be difficult if we are "out". So, my question, how much time do you think we have before they DF or attempt to DF us? These two are obviously the investigative duo of a Judicial trio! It will give us enough time to compose a very brief DA letter and then we will be truly free!!! Thanks in advance, love to all.
What do You Think? How much Time do we have Left?
by geevee 12 Replies latest jw friends
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bubble
Every congregation and set of elders do things differently, so your guess is as good as mine!
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geevee
Hi Bubble, yes I realize that differnt congs and elder bodies do things differently, but I am hoping to determine by the experience of others who have been there and done that to see what we can expect?
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AK - Jeff
They are 'fishing' now. If they put together enough 'circumstantial' evidence, they will try and nail you quickly, is my guess.
The 'brothers' were most likely the investigative committee of two they appoint before they initiate judicial actions. You gave them nothing more IMO.
I lasted three years - they just forced my DA letter a week back. One thing is; once they sense that you are 'out', whether official or not, fear begins to drive them to make it official. They rarely tolerate it for long.
Is it possible to get an even lower profile? That might help.
Depending on the aggressiveness of hte elders there - I give ya' about a year.
Jeff
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geevee
Thanks for the input AK_Jeff. We already get around on our elbows and knees, so a lower profile would mean that we have to die!!!! ;-))
Yes, I agree, a fishing expedition. Can they stand to let us walk away without any action? I did grate the WT guy when I was an elder!! I think that we maybe done for! -
delilah
I can't say, but my situation is a little different. My husband is Df'd, and I'm faded. About 8 years ago, the elders happened to call on us Christmas day.....my relative set them upon us,. I have a grapevine arbor, in the archway between my living room and dining room, that I entwined little white lights through, and it's lit every night. They asked me about it, and I laughed. The one elder had seen it before, and I told him so. We had not put a tree up that year, and there was no giftwrap lying around, although my youngest son came running into the room,shouting, "Look what my dad got me"....So they had no proof that we were celebrating anything, other than a "JW Family Day"...they left, and that was it.
We've never been bothered again, however I am careful not to buy giftwrap and such at stores that I know the witlesses frequent.Also, the nosy relative that I had, has moved away.
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Mary
So he ducks fro cover and doesn't want to identify any particular source and says well people talk you know, nobody that we know though!
Isn't that unsubstantiated "gossip"?? I would tell them that if they come back again and falsely accuse you of anything without having proof/evidence, that you'll be writing a letter to Bethel. I would also tell them that you were considering coming back but if that's the way you're going to be treated, forget it.
What a jerk. Like others here have mentioned, it depends on where you live. In my area, the elders seem to be of the opinion that unless you're causing a fuss, they just let you go. One of my friends started fading about 13 years ago. Recently, the elders found out she was smoking, celebrating X-Mas and birthdays but they didn't do anything. I think they figure "...who cares? They don't come to the Hall anymore..."
Don't these elders in your area have anything else to do but to try and track down inactive Dubs and pin something on them? Geesh.
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garybuss
I don't know how long, but I do know it's much easier for me to deal with the reality than the fear. No one can hold me hostage with reality.
If some old Witness in-law disrespects me to their own detriment, that'd be very foolish of them. I'm gonna respect my sons and my grandchildren and my family and anybody who wants to disrespect me can jump in a lake.
The elders don't threaten me because I have nothing to lose that they control. Guess who that puts in the driver's seat? -
Crumpet
Geevee - your thread ending up being about something totally different from what I was expecting from the title! I just wanted to say that your comment below was brilliant - what an excellent comeback. You totally think on your feet really well!
2) People are saying that we are free of the witnesses? To which I replied that you can never be free of it!!
Top answer and thank you for making me chuckle!
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Stealth453
They all do it at their own pace. For me it took 2 hours and 20 minutes, with my apostacy being announced after the Watchliar study. Good luck.