Blow up at an elder lately?

by Dune 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dune
    Dune

    I consider myself to be an extremely tolerant person. I'm one of those people that are extremely yielding, never get into confrontations and things of that sort.

    I've been fading for about two months but instead of being smart like everyone else on the board and doing it gradually, i simply just dropped off the face of the earth (by witness standards) and just focused on school and work.

    Theres one elder that has been calling my family asking about my whereabouts, the times i'm home, my cell # and all the good stuff. I wake up at 6:30 in the morning to the guy calling me, i dont bother picking up but he leaves a message. I JUST checked my cell phone and he's called about 5 times today.

    I really dont want to dissassociate myself until I have less dependence on my family but i'm afraid that if he calls me and starts something i'm going to act like JWFACTS and slip something that might be taken as a verbal form of dissassociation.

    So i guess what i'm wondering is if there would be a way to blow up at an elder but do it in such a way that they leave you alone for a while, but cant dissassociate you?

    wishful thinking

  • blondie
    blondie

    Have you told him politely but directly not to call any more?

    I wouldn't get into a big conversation, just say that when you want to talk, he'll be the first one you contact. But until then his phone calls will not be helpful and could be considered harassment.

    Then if he calls, keep a record of when and how often. Call the PO and let him know that there seems to be something wrong with this brother since he keeps calling many times a day and at inconvenient times even though you asked him not to. (If he is the PO, contact the CO.)

    Just keep it businesslike and with the view that this is impolite behavior.

    Blondie

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost
    Have you told him politely but directly not to call any more? I wouldn't get into a big conversation, just say that when you want to talk, he'll be the first one you contact. But until then his phone calls will not be helpful and could be considered harassment.

    Good advice. I'd recommend you do it the very next time he calls.

    By "worldlyâ„¢" standards this is indeed harrassment.

    Some guys who are called elders don't stop to consider their own actions - they're so used to being told by the WTS that the Borg is above the world that their individual actions connected with the congregation reflect that.

    Tell him "please don't call me" and do it firmly then hang up.

  • becca1
    becca1

    I agree with Blondie. Don't hide, just say:no thank you. Don't be confretational or rude, this way you will show up his rude behavior.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Well, i was thinking of blowing up a few when i first was dffed, but it passed. Ooops. Misread that. You could tell the guy that you are really, really busy and really really stressed now, and would he mind calling you next summer, when things may cool down a bit. This worked for a guy that i know. Next summer, tell him to call you at christmass time, add infinitum.

    S

  • inactive in jersey
    inactive in jersey

    what about telling him your stressed at work or you need time? i would not give him an attitude if you just want to fade. because he is calling you so much i guess you are going to have to deal with him directly. good luck!

  • buffalosrfree
    buffalosrfree

    I would be frank with him, and tell him his calls especially at 6:30a.m. are not appreciated. He is not to call you anymore and if you need him, you will call him, then immediately call the p.o. and let him know that this barnacle is harassing you in your estimation and if it continues you will have to notify the CO. And if he is related to the CO then call the DO. That will make them think a bit and put them in a bad light with the chain of command so to speak.

    We are fortunate here the elders don't seem to give a damn about anyone not coming to the meetings. Unless kicked in the ass by the CO or DO, they don't do a damn thing about it. Just shows you the Love doesn't it.

  • Mary
    Mary

    If you don't want to be DA'd, I would tell him that you're very busy with work and school. This will annoy the hell out of him but they won't DA you (although you'll be considered "spiritually weak"). However, I agree with what others have said: I would tell him NOT to call you at 6:30am any more (what a jerk. Doesn't he have a life?).

    Hopefully, he'll get tired of trying to track you down and with find someone else to bug.

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    I know a man who was contacted by a Witness elder by telephone and the man asked the elder for the fax number because he had something to fax over. The elder gave the man the fax number and the man faxed over his indexed play list and vinyl record album title list indexed by issue date for his all deaf polka band record collection. Then he put a sample of "Roll Out The Barrel" in F minor, E flat, and C sharp as his phone answering machine message. The elders have never called again.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Unless someone is dead or close to it, I don't want to hear from anyone after 10 PM or before 9 AM. Neither do I accept phone calls before 7 PM on weeknights - I get home from work around 6 PM and would like a chance to eat, shit, and wash myself before listening to other people's nonsense. Phoning someone at 6:30 AM is very rude by any standard, unless the time has been mutually agreed upon. That is very basic, and anyone who called me at that time would get an earfull he'd remember for a lifetime.

    I personally could not let the 6:30 AM phone call slide. It shows a complete disrespect for you to call at a time where you could not possibly have woken up, showered, eaten, and had your morning dump. The implication is that he considers his agenda to have a higher priority than your most basic human needs. You need to set boundries. Do it tactfully if possible, but if people don't understand tact, and many don't, then it's time to blow up at the bastard.

    W

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