Have you become REALLY interested in people now?

by AK - Jeff 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  AK - Jeff

  While in the bOrg, we seemed to be focused on people, but it was false, only looking for opportunities to 'convert', 'study with', 'help them into the Truth'.

  I have noticed that I take a genuine interest in others now. Those I meet in public, my gay child care provider, her childen, her partner. Parents of other children we meet at events [we care for our grandkids]. The lady in the coffee shop that seems lonely. The people I work with. Even a more seriously focused 'love' for my dad and my sister and others in the family.

  I have learned to listen, and to really love others, with no intent on 'selling my wares', religious or otherwise.

  Have you found life to be richer in this respect since leaving?

  Jeff
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  greendawn

  It happened long ago but yes after going over the emotional walls that invisibly shut one off from the rest of mankind it becomes possible to relate to the people in a more natural way. Not all people are good but many are much better than the average JW, one can pick and chooose.
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  Frannie Banannie

  Yes, it is possible, especially where family members are concerned. However, I also find that I'm less trusting of others' proferred "friendliness" after the pseudo-friendships with people in the WTS. I couldn't really trust them, yet we were taught when we were being love-bombed that we *could* trust them. That makes it difficult to strike up new friendships and renew some of the old ones.
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  avengers

  I have learned to listen, and to really love others, with no intent on 'selling my wares', religious or otherwise.

  Same here. I realize what you're saying. I don't get the same back from most people though.
  Maybe it's just me or the rurroundings, but it seems to me that people who haven't gone throught the same process like
  us X JDubbs are mostly selfish and will use you. There aren't that many people that genuinely care.

  Andy
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  Outaservice

  I've found that I not only like people more and accept most as they are, but that they like me more too. When I recently went through some serious health/financial problems they were more than there for me! And not for any wrong motives!

  So, I say to myself, "Welcome back to the human race".

  Outaservice (Hey, anyone out there willing to lend me $20?)
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  Clam

  Too true, but then you are conditioned to separate yourself from the "worldly". I used to see other people's problems as symptomatic of the "imperfect system of things", therefore making efforts to change them was futile. Now I'd lend a hand to anyone if I could, stranger or otherwise. What goes around comes around as well. I'd also like to say that my brother in law, an elder for many years is one of the kindest people I've ever known and loves helping people, JW or otherwise. Good people's spirits shine through and those who lack love in the first place can use the elitist philosophy of the Borg to their own ends.
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  Lady Lee

  I have always been fascinated by people and what they do and more importantly why they do it.

  As a child understanding people became a survival tool.I had to be alert to moods and triggers to a parents rage. That skill expanded into the world and other people.

  After I left the JWs I had a friend who was blind. He had the same fascination that I did. One time we sat in a park and watched the mating rituals of pigeons. How did the male entice a willing mate. It was interesting to watch the routine repeated by dozens of males trying to get a hen to notice and select him. I had to describe this to him.

  Another time we went to the red light district of Montreal and observed the way the ladies would offer their services to the men that walked by. We sat and watched while I described the activity to him.

  Our interests were not just on sexuality though. We went to the fireworks competition and I found a way to describe what I was seeing by a variety of hand movements on his back.

  Another time he and another blind friend did a sword fight with their canes out of the college, down a couple of streets and into the subway just so we could see how people responded. I directed the way and stopped the traffic as we went.

  We were always doing these experiments to see people's reactions

  I'm still interested in people, wondering what they think and why they do the things they do.
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  zagor

  I was always interested in people, which is why I could never understand dubs mentality of phony superficial interest that would stop on the line of that-cannot-be-recorded. I’ve spoken few years ago with an elder who admitted that even elders don’t usually go to sheparding visit so much precisely because those things are ‘not really reported to society’ How pathetic is that?!? WTBS has created a whole nation of hypocrites who do only things that can be seen by people and avoid doing thing that are not so visible. Which is, if I understand bible properly, exact definition of Phariseeism. Just how far removed is that form ‘let your left had does not know what your right hand is doing’?!
  
  WTBS sees people only as number and every ‘good dub’ eventually internalizes that same spirit. What other group of people collectively feels joy when bad things are happening to other people ‘because these are fulfillments of bible’s prophecies’?!? To be able to understand than an outside observer would have to go right into the heart of WTBS policy of dehumanizing people and seeing them only through statistic numbers.
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  jaguarbass

  Have you found life to be richer in this respect since leaving?

  Jeff

  Yes, life is richer in all respects since leaving.
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  KW13

  I know exactly what ya mean, i find i like to discuss other peoples problems with them and help them find solutions, even if i dont find one for myself (Cos i dont have time) and also i like to talk to JW's if i get the chance, not to confuse them but just in the hope i can get them outta the ORG. That would give me someone on my team though, maybe thats a tad selfish but i also want it for them.