Spend how much for wives/girlfriends?

by greendawn 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  serendipity

  If this is for your personal situation, consider treading carefully.

  Some women equate gifts with love. That may have been the way they were brought up. It doesn't mean they are gold diggers or taking advantage of the men in their lives. (I have a relative who fits this description.)

  Also, men don't understand why women spend as much as they do on clothing, shoes, etc. If a woman has an active social life, different clothes are needed. If a woman is in a professional level job or in a creative-type job, a certain image is expected. It costs money to maintain that image. To a man, spending $300 or more for a purse is ludicrous. A fashionable women would think nothing of it - and may spend even more for higher end designers. Additionally, some women feel insecure/inadequate/frumpy unless they wear designer fashions, which cost big bucks.

  This make come down to a values difference between you and your woman regarding money. It's one of the major sources of contention between couples. The problem is amplified if one is frugal and one is a spendthrift.
• 

  Scully

  I'm not a big fan of people of any gender who are high maintenance.

  I'd say that if her penchant for expensive trinkets and clothing does not match your budget, she might want to think about getting herself a job that allows her to afford the luxuries she feels entitled to have. I'd also recommend finding another girlfriend, because it isn't going to get better with time.

  just my 2¢
• 

  jaguarbass

  How much should a man tolerate a girlfriend or wife that is very demanding on clothes/shoes and other articles such as perfumes, handbags etc? Is there a limit to what one should spend to keep them happy beyond which it becomes a case of them taking advantage? After a girlfriend or wife pays her half of the living expenses she should be able to spend all she wants on perfumes, handbags, clothes, shoes, what ever she wants to spend her money on. Are you some kind of chauvinist?
• 

  moshe

  My 2nd wife was bipolar and she was demanding, too! She wanted lots of things and sex. In some cases you can never give a woman enough.
• 

  ronin1

  Being in a relationship is not about demanding..........its about love, intimacy, tolerance, respect, etc.

  Put your foot down or re-evaluate your relationship.

  Let them buy their own items if they needs these things so bad...................

  Ronin1
• 

  lisaBObeesa

  I just don't understand this.

  I can understand a woman getting gifts or a man getting gifts...they are gifts...but do people ask for gifts? What the heck?

  And I can understand a couple having joint money and setting aside money for each person's fun stuff....and each person buying 'handbags and perfume' out of their 'fun' fund...the money that the couple decided together was set aside for that stuff...

  Or I can understand a couple with separate funds and each taking care of their own bills and 'handbags and perfumes.'

  But this asking and demanding thing...I just don't get it. I can't imagine, as a woman, being in a relationship where I would have to ask someone else for those things. Yucky. No way.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  If you feel like you're being taken advantage of, now is time to mention this to her. If she has any sense of responsibility, she should never make her wardrobe a hardship for herself of her guy.

  I have one pair of jeans that is falling apart. I'm finding holes in the arms of my shirts. I buy everyone else their clothing before I get anything. I bought one blouse and two packages of underwear last year. And oh yeah, some gloves, a warm hat, a sweater and a pair of comfortable work shoes. That's the most I've bought for myself for three years.
• 

  JWdaughter

  Most of my marriage I have been a stay home wife and/or relatively low paid worker. I don't DEMAND anything. I know our budget and because we are in a marriage, I respect what we have to spend on various things. I am not a clothes freak and a bit cheap to boot, so thats nice for my husband.

  I do want him to remember special occasions with thoughtfulness(not $$$ness). He is still learning that one rose that is a color I love is far superior to a dozen of the color I loathe(hate red roses). Kind of slow there. I try to gift him with things he wants and needs(sometimes with his own money!) and I choose all of the kids things. He shops at 4:30 Christmas Eve. Then claims when it is the wrong size etc., that it is the thought that counts. IT IS TRUE. So think!

  Sounds like someone wants more than YOU feel comfortable with, so that is an issue you need to deal with. When anyone wants more than you are happy to share, you need to examine whether it is your issue or theirs. Be honest. My sis and her husband spend a lot more on clothes and shoes than I would ever THINK of, but they are comfortable with that and in agreement about the way they wish to present themselves to the world. I got my first new coat in six years last year-last one purchased when pregnant with my (now)6.5 year old. Girlfriends-why would you buy a GF clothes? Jewelry, books, flowers, a trip-but clothes? I don't think GF should expect clothes, if you gift her with it, great, but that is not anything a guy should feel obligated to buy.
• 

  Dune

  I have a no accommodation policy, lol.

  My last girlfriend came from a much more affluent background than I so she ended up buying me everything. Not that i was complaining .

  Maybe i should call her up :-D.