I want to call my mom...any advise???

megsmomma

My mom has disowned me and subsequently, my 6 month old....and I AM SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so frusterated to let this stinkin cult ruin and affect my life so much. Has anyone had success in talking to a relative and saying SOMETHING to get them to THINK for themselves? I was hinking of saying..."Ok mom, It is time for you to look into your religion and find out the facts....so you don't regret giving up your grandkids, and misleading those that listen to you." Would it work? I feel SO HELPLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

juni

All I can say is this from my experience.

My parents absolutely HATED IT when we became JWs. They cut us off. Now my Dad is dead; has been 22 years now. My Mom is 81. She mainly has memories of my oldest son who was 1 1/2 right before we came in to the religion.

They missed out on the kids growing up because of their bitterness. What a price to pay. The kids of course have no fond memories of them. My kids are all adults now w/families of their own.

Life goes on ........

Perhaps there are others in your family or friends who can fill that spot of nana for your kids?

It's horrible to think that she could cut off her flesh and blood because of the dictates of a religion. But it happens a lot.

The fact is - she doesn't want to sacrifice her future place in Paradise to enjoy a relationship w/her grandchild. She won't even visit the grandchild or do things with him/her by herself??

You have to access the situation. There is no easy answer if she has her mind made up. You have to move on for the best interests of your child. And explain to your child according to his/her age as time goes by why "grandma" isn't around.

Hugs to you,

Juni

Emma

I don't think there's anything you can do to get her to think about her beliefs other than being happy yourself. If you can risk and handle rejection, you could call and say, "I just wanted you to know the grandbaby is doing fine and is sitting up and trying to crawl," or whatever milestone is going on right now. She may want to hear this kind of news; if not, you've tried. Just be prepared so you're not hurt more.

Woofer

Has she seen pictures of the new baby? If not, maybe send her some and ask her if she wants to miss out on this beautiful little gift.

parakeet

Many other posters in similar situations have advised a loving rather than a confrontational approach to JW relatives. A phone call that puts her immediately on the defensive will, IMO, do more harm than good. Perhaps a letter to her with news about your family and a heartful appeal to her better instincts might soften her heart. And, as Woofer suggested, include photos of your family.

megsmomma

I called.....expecting nothing.....and got just that! She actually said.."I am out in service (with the exciting new tract, no doubt) and I will have to get back to you" Boy, they really do keep the dubs too busy to realize what is really going on in their own life. BTW....she has seen pics and saw her in person once, when she told me I need to go back to Jah....and when I said I wouldn't be going back, she gave me and the baby up....and told me so.

Sassy

you can only control the things in your power, like your own life. you can't control others.

I did take some charge of my life, in that when my mother chose that she should not have me in her life because I 'left" Jehovah, I moved and gave her no forwarding address.no phone.

She wants it so that she can have it for those moments she can have permission to have me in her life.. such as if there was a hospital emergency, or her need to write and remind me why she has to obey Jehovah first and not have me in her life...

well .. she can't have it both ways.. I won't allow me in her life when the cult allows it..

so I've left her life.. she either gets me in all of her life or none.

It hurts.. and I'm not even angry at her.. because I know she is brainwashed, but nothing I can say or do will open her eyes.. so I chose not to let it drag me down.

Woofer

Well I'm very sorry to hear the phone call went that way.

My family does not see me (my mom has never seen my 4 year old daughter) and I get sad sometimes, especially during events in my life when my family should be celebrating with me.

OUTLAW

About the only way to have any interaction with a JW relative,is to stay off the subject of religion...OUTLAW

juni

Megsmomma said:

and when I said I wouldn't be going back, she gave me and the baby up....and told me so.

Well I guess she told you what she thought was important. Like Outlaw suggested, stay off the topic of religion. Your mom sounds like her brain is fully embedded in the religion.

The issue is - does she want a relationship w/her granddaughter? That's what concerns you and her. If not, move on. Your daughter will survive. There are plenty of wonderful people who will show love and attention to her. When she gets older you can explain according to her level of understanding.

Best to you and your family,

Juni

I want to call my mom...any advise???

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