Where I stand...

by Justice-One 16 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Alpheta

  Dear Justice One,

  A quote: "And as for his reaction... he has known since childhood that his Dad has a sick and twisted sense of humor. Besides, it kinda removes all doubt when he continued and said something to the effect of "just because I'm disfellowshiped, doesn't mean I don't think its not the truth." '

  My advice, for what it is worth, is first, sincerely (emphasis on sincerely) apologize to your son. Tell him that you did not MEAN to disrepect his beliefs. I think that anything less than a sincere apology would indicate that you are less than respectful of your son's ability to make choices for himself. This would - naturally - put up his back and make his defense alarms go off big time.

  You implied that you have a certain "sense of humor" that your son should now. Maybe he has known, "since childhood" that his dad has a certain type of humor, but he may find it offensive. Have you ever asked??? Out of respect for you, his dad, perhaps he has never dared, and will not, now. But it's something you should consider...

  As a dad, perhaps your approach to this son has been not quite on the money. Worth considering. Final words, bitchy as they may be, do you want your son back, or do you want to be "right?"
• 

  Justice-One

  The apology was immediate and sincere.

  My son shares my sense of humor. We have always been close, (he has always been my little buddy) and though I never spoke about the fact that I no longer was a "true believer," (not allowed) he of course knew. - Not going to meetings is kinda a dead give away. This incident actually did what it was intended to do, - let me know where my son stands. I was just bummed to learn his eyes are still closed. - He actually believes the Elders did what was best for him.

  This for some reason reminds me of the scene in Animal House where the guy was getting beat with a large wooden paddle, saying with each stroke "THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!"
• 

  rebel8

  I believe there is a phase of deprogramming in which the person speaks the party line but doesn't believe it.

  a.k.a. maybe he's too scared of thunderbolts and crows assembling around his corpse eating his eyes out of his skull that he can't bear to utter any words against the borganization......

  i went through a phase where i knew in my heart the teachings were mostly false, but i thought i was still going to be killed by god at any moment for being unable to overlook the borg's many flaws and still worship them

  some of my relatives who have been very far out of the borg for > a decade still won't listen to anything against the org or the elders,,,,they in fact have been going around saying i'm possessed by demons just because i casually mentioned once i think the org is a cult....
• 

  Justice-One

  I believe there is a phase of deprogramming in which the person speaks the party line but doesn't believe it.

  Good point. And it is probably true for a LOT of JW's. I know that is how I was for a long time.
• 

  Justice-One

  I had one of those rare fights (fight is a strong word, as I love my wife, and don't like to upset her.) with my wife a few days ago. She actually started in on me - this sometimes happens after she spends the day with her true believing Dad and Mom.) But this is always a mistake for her, and I told her that whatever she got me to say was only going to upset her. But no, she couldn't leave it alone because in her words "we are right and you are wrong, and the end is SO CLOSE!" So it ended just as I thought it would, with her upset. I think it had something to do with the fact that I told her the Elders (or Glorious Ones) could kiss my shinny pink ass, and they were nothing but a bunch of uneducated "gas pumpers" that were enjoying the only power and prestiege they were ever going to see. I think I then made some mention about not wanting to be around when the "Kool-Aid" came out.

  I know I shoud have just kept my mouth shut, but it is so hard sometimes when she starts in on me about ....how my Mom is going to miss me in the new system....how the Society only wants the best for us, and that the Elders are loving sheppards...or how the "Faithful And Discreet Slave" get their info right from Jehovah (but oh no, they are not inspired.) Oh and how any or all of my thoughts have come from those APOSTATE "chat rooms."

  Funny thing....I have been in many online forums, but never a "chat room."
• 

  Nowman

  Its funny, something similiar happened to me not too long ago...

  Ran into an old JW friend at a restaurant while out shopping with girlfriends. Hadn't seen her in 15 years! to make a story short, we got caught up...I came to find out that she had just been released from prison the day before, she was doing some serious drugs, had no plans to change her life style, and she was with her sugar daddy. This is one beautiful girl with a very messed up life come to find out...anyway, I tell her about JWD and other sites. She is offended I go to these sites! I am thinking to myself "you are going to judge me" when I have sat here and listened to her talk about her messed up life and I have no judgement towards her, I just felt sorry....That was the end of the conversation, she was still messed up in the head with the JW apostate thing....That was the last we talked...

  Nikki
• 

  Kudra

  goes to show ya how the WTS demonizes so much any opposing thought to its own beliefs that being an "apostate" ends up being worse that even doing drugs, having sex, robbery, jail or what have you.