Which did you fear more as a JW, God or the Elders? (page 3)

LovesDubs

There is nothing worse than becoming the subject of the rumor mill and have your private life ripped to smitherines by the bitches in their cliques...the elders wives, the pioneers...the long timers who thought that since they were "born in the truth" they had the right to judge you if you were only in 10 years or less. Theyd talk sweet and encouraging right to your face and go into the women's washroom and talk about you like you were the biggest trailer trash, spiritual zero, black hole nasty-ass whore on the planet. I nursed three children over the course of the last 10 years of my "inprisonment" in the Borg and the things they said, speaking loudly over the speakers who were broadcasting the TALK into the bathrooms for OUR benefit...would curl your short hairs.

Made me sick...and I KNOW I made that list and stayed on it for a very long time.

Elders??? Just self important janitors and window washing assholes...most of em. God? Ha...the only ally I had and the belief that HE TOO saw all this shit and was not fooled by it gave me the courage to leave.

Loves

aarque

It was the elders I feared more than anything. When I was 6 years old and couldn't sit still through a Friday night meeting, the PO came up to me after it was over and told me I was going to die at Armageddon if I couldn't sit still through the meetings. I was terrified of him after that. I thought he had the power of life and death over me. We also had a study conductor that would sit me down after each bookstudy to make sure I knew what the lesson was all about. I remember him being upset with me because I couldn't explain the king of the north and the king of the south to him....I was only 7 years old and had no idea what a world power was....(this was late 1950s-early 60s). I never realized how much I still have a fear of them because the other day a man knocked on my door. When I looked through the window and saw him standing there with his briefcase, I broke out into a sweat and wasn't going to answer; but I finally yanked the door open... and found out he was selling insurance.

bronzefist

Gary you break me up...We lived in the country and at night it was dark as the inside of a cow.

I was never in fear of God. The elders worried me more than made me afraid. Once I saw them for what they are the worry part disappeared.

divejunkie

elders and my dad then again my dad WAS an elder so it's a kind of "egg or chicken" situation... God never was an issue, I figured, if he was that pissed at me for something I've done, he could get rid of me right then and there...or he would get me later...no way of getting out of it. Whatever...it was really more of a boogey man threat to me

FlyingHighNow

Jehovah.

He always had me shaking in my boots. He was not like a person, he was more of a great big, seething, angry, vengeful unlimited supply of dynamic energy, impossible to please. No matter how good I tried to be, it was never good enough according to the brothers and literature. God was taking notes constantly and could on a daily basis, remove or rarely add someone's name to the book of life.

Jehovah began to feel like a giant version of my abusive mother and grandmother. He was verbally, emotionally and even physically (through stress effects and the demanding meeting/field service schedule) abusive. He was often murderous and bragged about it. I realized he wasn't much different from Hitler in his murderous ambitions. His gov bod was just as abusive in the impossible standards and burdonsome expectations they set. Oh yes, and the fear they instilled in everyone as a means of control.

greendawn

Actually the elders in the ex congo were quite mild people so I feared the dreadful OT jehovah image rather than them, the dubs never told you that in the NT God should be perceived as a loving father and not a harsh master.

GentlyFeral

I only feared the elders as enforcers of the Society's rules, which I was convinced were God's rules.

So I guess I feared "God" more.

It's only after having attempted atheism, been a Unitarian and a neopagan and now nibbling at Religious Science, that I can stand to hear scriptures like Psalm 139.

gently feral

Which did you fear more as a JW, God or the Elders?