Can a prospective divorced member marry another JW

by zilla 16 Replies latest social relationships

  • zilla

    Thank you all for welcoming me into this forum and giving me your help and support it has been appreciated. The reason I am finding out more about JWs is because recently I have met a few by chance and one of which was there for my Mother right to the end who was dying of cancer. My mother was an athiest and met this JW at the door and they formed a friendship but from the day my Mother said she wasn't interested in their religion..religion was never mentioned again and this person continued to be there for my Mother visiting daily. But the kindness didn't stop there it continued.....that same person made the most incredible offer to me. When my Mother died my brother who has an intellectual disability had no where to go because he didn't want to leave his hometown and had lived at home all his life (I lived hours away) 6months he had a place to go to but in the meantime we were in a dilemma. Well this wonderful JW offered to move into the house and look after my brother for the doing so put his own life on hold and he was doing it for NO PAYMENT just from the goodness of his heart. And in the meantime while I was there I formed a close friendship and religion was never discussed unless I brought the subject up. So when I returned home I decided I wanted to know more about JWs and this was totally my decision based on the kndness and generosity of another human being who was practically a stranger to our family when he came into our lives and touched us all by what he did and how he behaved. He had something that stood out and his actions spoke much louder than was his behaviour and goodness and the example he set that led me to want to know more about his faith. I have had 5 bible studies and never been to the Kingdom Hall and have never been pressured to go...and as far as baptism goes it is not recommended on their part for at least 2 years...and only if they believe and you believe you are ready for it...because they want you joining up for the right reasons. I'm not easily swayed I make my own decisions. And I'm not doing this because I'm lonely I'm not a needy person and have always functioned better on my own. Believe me this is quite a turn around for me wanting to know more about JW beliefs etc I have always been an athiest myself and probably would have scoffed at others who were too religious.

  • Jeffro


    Witnesses do often form relationships with people simply because there may be some interest shown in their religion through their actions - they are encouraged to do so by the leadership. However, there are those who genuinely care about people and are able to put their religion to the side and just show genuine concern for people.

    All the same, if you pursue a bible study with them, you should be careful and consider all the facts. Don't mistake individuals' kindness for religious truth. Ask questions that aren't in the printed study material. Look into issues such as their teachings about 607BC. And if you decide not to continue studying, you will soon find out if the person is a genuine friend.

  • OnTheWayOut
    there are those who genuinely care about people and are able to put their religion to the side and just show genuine concern for people

    I don't know the witness you speak of, but I will disagree with the above statement. Many can do acts of kindness and show genuine concern, but they are trained to believe that the ultimate kindness is to teach you to be a Jehovah's Witness just like they are one.

    Does this person really lose out? Free rent and I would imagine he is a pioneer preacher. He was counting all of his time with your deceased family member, and now need a new family member to continue "preaching" to. He avoids direct preaching so that he isn't thrown out.

    Please don't be offended by these comments. I only say that Witnesses ALL think they have to help you, the apostle Paul said to become all things to all people in order to help them. I am pretty sure he's just following Paul's advice.

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    I think that what this JW is doing is really kind! And it is quite possible that what this person is doing is coming from their heart and not a need to convert anyone.

    Just please keep in mind that you absolutely need to do objective research on the jw's before committing further. They will not tell you everything you need to know to make an educated decision on this.

    If you haven't gone through the Best Of subforum yet here are the links to the three pages:

    There is some great information there. Hang around here for a bit and dig through the information.

    Welcome to the forum.

  • zilla

    Thanks everyone for your concern at this stage of the game I am only finding out more. I'm quite aware that this persons kindness may have nothing to do with him being a Jehova Witness he may just be a great person brought up well with great values....apparently alot better than any of My Mothers long time friends who my Mother was so good to. And in defence of this particular JW he had nothing to gain by helping my for free board etc...he had his own place to maintain while he was with my brother and had to drive an extra 3/4 of an hour each day to he supplied all the food. It cost him extra money to do what he was doing.......and if any of you have ever looked after a person with a disability you will know how challenging it is and how much love and patience is required. I will take a good look at the sites you have provided...and I thank you all for your support and help...i'm not about to rush into anything I'm just curious.

  • looseend

    I am sure that his kindness was from the heart, but keep in mind that if your studying you are considered to be on the right track. i was talking to my brother about kindness that is shown inside the organization all good acted but a lot of times it is only shown in the organization and most JWs wouldn't think about helping someone outside, not because they are mean or don't care, but because just the way it is, its subconscious almost. I agree do your research before doing anything its a life altering move.

  • becca1

    You will be free to remarry if your ex remarries or you have proof he has been having sex with someone else.

    My advice- run as fast as you can. The witnesses you know may very well be nice people but they are deceived and will deceive you as well.

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