New Scrolls in the new system

by JH 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • JH

    The JW's always said that we would get new instructions in the new system, inspired by God this time, unlike the Watchtower and Awake...

    What new instructions do you think will be found in these new scrolls?

  • love2Bworldly

    Along with weekly KH cleaning, there will be a required law to scoop all the poop out of your yard from the zebras, lions, bears, flamingos, etc.

  • AlmostAtheist

    Thou shalt grasp the shoulders, each one that of his brother, and pull upon them with force sufficient to remove his head from his a$$!

    It'd be a good start, at least... ;-)


  • OnTheWayOut

    Since the Governing Body all left for Heaven, order needs to be restored among the perfect people.
    The new scrolls will tell them how to be obedient to the "princes."


    What kind of information?..Information you can`t friggin find!..Can you imagine a scroll telephone book??..What a bunch of dumb ass`s!!..LOL!!...OUTLAW

  • Jim_TX

    Well... they'll receive all these new instructions - which will be printed on golden tablets. They will then lose the gold tablets - but you'll have to take their word for what they say was written on these tablets.

    Oh wait. This has been done before, hasn't it? (Hint: Mormons)


    Jim TX

  • Hellrider

    1) Always keep the remote control placed on top of the TV when not being used, otherwise it will go missing.

    2) Always check the stove before going out.

    3) Eat fish at least twice a week.

    4) Thou shalt not mix peanut butter with any other jam than strawberry.

    5) Keep matches out of reach of children.

    6) Obey Jehovah thine Lord.

    7) "Know" thine wife/husband at least twice a week, otherwise she/he will be grumpy.

    8) Brush teeth twice a day.

    ...and...well, that`s about it.

  • NewYork44M

    Are these the scrolls that are opened when we are in the "new order" that include the amount of our reported service time?

  • Finally-Free

    The Awake! magazine will be replaced with the OBEY! magazine.


  • Bonnie_Clyde

    News Flash! There are no "new" scrolls. It says "scrolls will be opened." The word "new" is not there.

Share this