If a Witness speaks about your exit to you, does this happen to you too?

by free2beme 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • free2beme

    I have been out of the religion a long time and do not make public the fact that I was one, to the general people in my life. Mainly as, it is not something I feel is necessary to understand me and I also do not like the odd conversations that seem to come from it. The other day, a person from work, whom I did not know was a Witness. Came to me and asked why I left. It appeared that he knew someone I knew as a Witness and when my name came up, they told him. I told the guy that I had my reasons and they were things that mattered to me, and I did not want to really go in to too much detail.

    This is the part that happens to me though, in this situation ...

    The Witness starts going into scriptures, asking questions like, "Do you still believe in Jehovah" or "Do you still feel these are the last days?" and the main one, "If this religion is wrong, which one is right?" On and on and on, just badgering you with these questions.

    ... What I notice though, is they all seem to ask the same questions. So in my absence, did a new book come out called "Reasoning with the Apostates?" As it seems to be a pattern of the same questions here. I always like to ask them back, "Are you asking those of me to learn, to condemn me or because you hope I found an answer to those questions that makes more sense then the one you hold too?"

    In the end, I now know I work with more Witnesses then I thought. I may have to buy them all Christmas cards this year!

    Do you get these same common questions too?

  • Effervescent

    No, I moved too far away from everyone that ever knew me as Witness, but GOSH- I wish I would get asked that stuff, I'd have so much fun with it!

    I love the Christmas card idea!

  • Arthur
    ... What I notice though, is they all seem to ask the same questions. So in my absence, did a new book come out called "Reasoning with the Apostates?" As it seems to be a pattern of the same questions here.

    Yes, this is something that I have noticed as well. They all do ask the same questions. It's always the same sing-song talking points. However, in answer to your question, the answer is no; there has not been a new publication that you asked about.

    I think that the same patterns of questioning is a product of JW indoctrination. This is to be expected I suppose, as they all study the same Watchtower articles, and hear the same talks. In short, they are parroting WTC cliches that are drilled into them. I think that they are probably trying to trip you up as well. From my experience, JWs get a bizarre pleasure from trying to "show up" former JWs, as they feel that any JW who voluntarily leaves is an apostate.

    If I were you, I would demand a quid pro quo when it comes to answering questions. Start to pepper him with questions about the U.N. scandal, blood policy, and false prophecies. If you do this, I bet he will leave you alone.

  • free2beme


    I kind of ended the conversation by saying, "I am not even a Christian anymore!" I also explained that I know he should not speak with me, about religion, per his own religions teachings. I explained I would like a professional and courteous relationship at work and asked him to respect it. He seemed put off that I did not want to debate it, almost like he wished I would get into a lengthy conversation that he could sense a victory in. In the end, he did not get it.

    I truly believe though, you are right, they do have a sense about them. That they want to make a former Witness feel foolish or stupid. Kind of that thinking they are taught, that we are lost and scared. When we show confidence and beliefs that do not show this, they seem more reluctant to continue. They like being strong to the weak, but equal ground is not the same thrill. I expect a return visit though, as I sense this person did not get the responses he wanted.

  • SPAZnik

    I really like the question you ask about why asking...hoping I've found better answers than the ones you hold to? haha When I'm feeling a bit punchy I like to ask "are you counting time right now?"

  • vitty

    I think witnesses are intrigued that anyone who has left is happy with the decision. It seem incredible that you can now live without the "truth"

    You are giving them a glimmer of what life could be like outside the borg. Remember many want to escape but dont know how, I myself was trapped but didnt know how or why, I just knew I was.

    Then when I came here it all just fell into place. Maybe thats what your co worker wants to know......................how are you surviving without the org?

  • AgentSmith

    I once met a df person in the bank. This was while I was still in the borg. I felt I needed to encourage her somehow to 'come back'. At the time she was most relucttant to speak to me. In fact she also said 'you are not supposed to speak to me'. I felt a bit at a loss. I really did like her, and she was dating fellow firefighter, (married him later on). So maybe, just maybe this dub wants to help.

    However, I will probably react the same. Get lost my brother! Find out for yourself!

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    "Do you still believe in Jehovah" or "Do you still feel these are the last days?" and the main one, "If this religion is wrong, which one is right?"

    These questions are standard JW tactics for avoiding answering the tough questions that you may have for them.

    They are trying to change the subject to something they are more comfortable with. Do not answer them. If you do, you are playing the game by their rules. Be tough. Stick to your subject. Make them squirm. Force them lie and to try and deceive you. Make them the ones that have to lie awake at night, thinking about what they had to say to defend their leaders.

  • carla

    The questions aren't just for apostates. (technically I don't count as an apostate) My jw used to give me those exact ones whenever he couldn't answer a question of mine. Only difference is he didn't use jehovah because I don't accept it as a name for God.If he did use it I would ask if he means jahavah or jihivihi or add any vowels I felt like, then I would point out the wt that admits it is not a correct pronunciation.

  • greendawn
    "If this religion is wrong, which one is right?"

    The fact is there are many more religions that are better compared to the JWs who are a cult more than anything else and not a serious religion eg see the unstable ever changing doctrine and how fast what is good today becomes wrong tomorrow and vice versa. Also the appallingly dictatorial set up and the subtle psychological pressure they put on their members.

    In the past friends and relatives used to ask and I would tell them that after researching the dubs behaviour over a year I found them to be seriously wanting and so I left while later I found that all their doctrines were rotten.

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