I don't know how I feel...

by wonderwoman 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dismembered

    Greetings wonderwoman,

    Sorry to hear how your Grampy has been treating you over the years. The attempts you've made in wanting to have a simple conversation with him are no less than noble on your part. Shame on him for rejecting you. As time goes on these "hard as nails"-"died in the wool" JW's will have hell to pay when finally they realize that their expectations, will fall far short, of what they though was/is going to happen to them for giving allegiance to watchtower instead of their own family members.

    Sorry it sounds harsh, but it's this kind of ugliness that got me to start thinking "And this is the truth'?


  • Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    Good Girl or Bad Girl?

    Hi dear WonderWoman, I hope you are feeling a bit better after hopefully a good night's rest.

    I'm sorry that things are so hard just when you feel that they are getting better and you are coping/moving on. You may regret it if you don't go to see your grandpa. I know it's hard to remember this, but he is brainwashed. He thinks he's helping you by hurting you. You and I know the truth of that, but I don't think it'd be true to your character to lower yourself to his standards and treat him how he treats you. I know it's easier said than done, and I know that you may get hurt so much again. But like some of the others said, he may truly be grateful that you didn't let the hate get to your heart and you went to him despite how he has rejected you time and again. If we let the hate get to our hearts, then the WTS has won.

    Of course, you ultimately know the best thing. But we know how you feel and we are here rooting for you to take care of yourself and be good to yourself. And remember that whatever your grandpa mistakenly thinks about you and yours, it's not true. He's been terribly misinformed by the GB and FDS.

    My grandpa was not a JW so it's not the same thing, but when he was dying, I went to see him nearly everyday. But I didn't sit and talk very long because I was wrapped up in JW things. He fought in two wars and I never asked him about it. I never learned about him. I regret it nearly everyday. You won't regret trying to do the right thing, but you might regret not going.

    Best to you, and much love. It's just not right and I hope your grandpa can just see you and remember that he loves you and you are his granddaughter and that should be the only thing factoring in his love for you.

    I'm here for you.

    Love, Good Girl or Bad Girl

  • Nowman

    Wonderwoman, I am sorry for your broken heart, my advice would be to go see your grandfather. I want to respond with the fact that my father has broken my heart, have not seen him in 15 years, he a good, strong JW. I too feel like, "if only he knew how hard I work, and if only he could see me as a mother to my children". He has never met them or seen them. If only he could meet Haley and Dylan and see that they are so sweet and good, and have a real joy for life. If something happened to him though, and someone told me about it, I would do my best to see him, to comfort him, etc. I think I would regret it, if I didn't.

    I understand your situation completely, he probably feels too that you broke his heart, but you know its only cause hes brainwashed like good girl bad girl stated...


  • Alpheta

    Hi Wonderwoman,

    I agree with Lady Liberty - I think you should go see your grandpa; I think that even if he doesn't express it on the outside, on the inside his heart will be leaping for joy that you came to see him. And whatever happens in the future with his recovery (or not), you will know in your own heart that you did the right thing. Same applies if there are more visits during his recuperation. You act(ed) as a true Christian, with love in your heart. I guess I'm a "softie" too.


  • kerj2leev

    I hope it goes well for you, just know we are thinking of you!!

  • wonderwoman

    Thanks to everyone for your kind words. I have been thinking about it all day and have decided to go see him. I got him a funny card today and plan on trying to get to him tomarrow. I know I'll regret it if I don't. I've thought about this scenerio a million times the past few years, how I would cope with his death considering our relationship. I know it's the right thing to do and I hope that he feels the same way. We'll see...keep your fingers crossed.
    You all are incredible. I feel very fortunate to have found you.
    love, WW

  • sass_my_frass

    It always makes me sad when I hear about another person who you'd think could be counted on as some kind of respectable example, just being a total letdown and failure. These people let us down all the time. I wish I could help, but my family have failed me too. Thing is: we're still top chicks, they're just too..... um whatever, to notice. They're self-centred, deluded, loveless and bombastic. All of that: it's their problem, not yours hon. Track him down, tell him you love him, and keep living your terrific life. He's waiting for somebody to tell him he's magnificent, but nobody will because he is not. You don't need the acknowledgment of somebody who doesn't understand the value of your gifts.

    Edited: sorry, should clarify; it's great that you're going to talk to him. Keep your expectations low, and be gentle on yourself.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Wonderwoman,

    I think you made a good decision. One you won't regret. We will be thinking of you tomorrow. Please let us know how it goes.


    Lady Liberty

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