Friendship gone, cause of questions...

by Matt_fs 15 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • sspo

    Even though he is not a true friend keep in mind we all have similar stories. When you are brainwashed you are literally like a donkey with blinders on.

    I'm glad you were at least able to expose his faulty doctrines and it seems he acknowledged some faults in the watchtower.

    You never know what the future will bring for him. Many on this board spent decades in the watchtower and we were also donkies with blinds.

    No offense to anyone

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Matt,

    Welcome to the forum. If I were you I would say OK, personally I have questions. Would you be willing to help me, just one subject at a time? Then take one you know he won't have a leg to stand on that may make him think. I suggest the 607 issue. That is the issue that got me out! Ask him why it is that ALL other sources say 586/587. And that ONLY the Society says 607. Why is that?? Then when he goes into the standard explanation 539 minus 70 years is 607, then ask him to prove it to you without using the Societys literature. That may be pandoras box for him. For many it is.

    Again welcome and good luck!!


    Lady Liberty

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    My heart completely goes out to you. Unfortunately it is true he is instructed to avoid you at all costs for his own spirituality's sake. For the past few years the society has taught that we need to befriend the householder and listen to them. (we were so hard core to avoid bad associations it was hard for me to even listen to anything personal the householder would bring up). But anyone expressing doubt causes the jw to become paranoid about exploring those doubts. We are told doubting is a subtle form Satan uses to destroy our faith. He may be scared by your findings because they are repressed ones he has been wrestling with himself.

    When I expressed to my best friend (fellow jw, same age, best friends since youngsters) my doubts, she was there to encourage me to study. For awhile. Then she told me that my doubts had caused her to realize she needed to make sure she was solid in the faith so that she wouldn't be in the same situation. Conversations became fewer ( we talked 3-4 times a day on the phone-kids the same age, did EVERYTHING together as much as possible although living long distances apart). They eventually stopped. I have written her. We are not d'f or d'a yet though she knows we are celebrating holidays. I haven't heard a peep from her in the last few months. I had to hear through the grapevine she is pregnant! With her first she called me in the middle of night to tell me as soon as she found out! What a drastic cut off. You are not alone. This behavior is preached from the platform at every kingdom hall. I have no idea what you could say to change his mind. I do agree though that since you are unbaptized, a sincere plea to go over one topic at a time in an effort to "help you understand" is about the only way. However that may be handed off to an elder or ministerial servant so that your friend doesn't feel his spirituality threatened if he doesn't feel strong enough to refute your doubts or has them himself (which he would NOT admit). If this is the case, even though you "study" with someone else your friend may still be wary and guard himself from associating with you. Those not baptized, though studying for years are always associated with and included in hopes they will see the organization as a loving environment and take a stand through baptism. But doubt them or show them their error and you are the devil.

    Best wishes to you. Hopefully your friend will reflect on you and your knowledge and not cast you aside in his heart or mind. You may have just planted the seeds of doubt that get things turning in his mind and regain your friend in the end.

    Kitten Whiskers

  • rassillon

    I would say that you thought witnesses were involved in a "life saving work".

    Is he no longer concerned about saving your life?

    Is he only willing to witness to ones who have no questions and accepting anything he says without research?

    Is that how Jesus would handle it?

    The Boreans were commended for examining what they were told before accepting it.

    Does he expect less of you?

    If he has the TRUTH, he would be blood guilty not to do his utmost to convince you of the same!


  • Sassy

    He is probably afraid.. afraid that you would espose the truth to the witnesses, something he isn't ready to handle.

    I've gone through this with friends.. eventually the few that talk to you when you leave, shun you as well...

  • Flash

    He isn't being Intelectually Honest with you or himself about his beliefs and I would point that out to him. Don't expect him to be your friend at this time, he has embraced the cult mentality of his religion and will shut you out because your honest questions threaten his erroneous beliefs.

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