becoming a jehovah's witness

by pcecilia 34 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  My statement about actually becoming one of Jehovah's Witnesses to experience what it's like, was also not to be taken in jest. This is because you cannot know what it is like to be one, just because someone tells you what it's like.

  I am totally in agreement with Warlock here. The truth is pcecilia, we can all tell you our stories of what attracted us to the cult in the first place, and the stories would probably have a familiar theme to them. No one, not even a practicing jw, can tell you what the experience of being one is really like. You can only learn that by becoming a jw, which isn't something I would advise anyone to do.

  We all have a story to tell about how well or badly we were treated, how we started to doubt, how we finally decided to leave, and the stories themselves would be similar, but as to how it felt to be part of the cult, only those who have walked in our shoes can truly know that.
• 

  M.J.

  I have never been a witness, but my wife is. At first I learned most of what I knew about them through ex-witness sites. But the picture wasn't totally clear until I agreed to "study the bible" with them, starting about a year ago. I have weekly discussions with their best and brightest, and finally understand where they are coming from. I think that many aspects of group psychology and social pressure make academic sense when you read about it in print, but you never truly understand such things until you've experienced them to some extent. It's amazing how as social animals we strongly tend to adopt the world view of those that surround us, especially when we are the target for inclusion. I'll have to say, by the way, that the link provided by Little Drummer Boy is brilliant in breaking the process down.
• 

  pcecilia

  i never expected such a vast array of insight... i can't thank you all enough...
  the story (i call it a story though i don't know if it will be a short story, a novel, or an everlasting collection of ideas) is an exploration of different social interactions... their purposes and effect on one's psyche... the (current) lead character is not the jehovah's witness that i am acquiring information for... but he has a very tense encounter with a pair of jehovah's witnesses early in the narrative... this is just one occurence reinforcing his social anxiety, many of which culminate to give the lead character nihilistic views and a subsequent lack of any kind of respect for social norms...

  i'm seeing a very interesting dichotomy here, though, having the opportunity to speak with you all... the lead character has spent so much time dwelling on the ugliness of society after being so immersed in it, and that's what stigmatizes him... conversely, witnesses spend so much time in a "sheltered" existence, that they may be severely hindered socially...
  considering society from someone that is newly experiencing it with freedom will be an incredibly helpful viewpoint...

  i intend, now, after having been given so much perspective into ex-witnesses... to spend a considerable amount of time developing the "JW" character(s) outside of the lead character's world... and to possibly delve into them leaving the organization, if i ultimately feel that's what the life in the story holds for them...

  but to answer "why" a jehovah's witness... that is what, at the time, served the story... but i was concerned that i wasn't distinguishing between the individual and the religion... i don't want the character (however minor or major her role in the actual storyline ends up to be) to be simply a caricature... she is a human being that has a history that led her to that point, and she has a future that will go on from that point...
• 

  M.J.

  Just curious. Is authoring books your profession? Sounds like an interesting story.
• 

  AuldSoul

  pcecelia,

  The waters are probably deeper and the current swifter in the actual life of someone becoming a JW than what has been represented thus far. So much of the experience would depend on several factors. Here's my read on the whole JW process:

  Is she becoming a JW pre-1975 or post-1975? If pre-1975, she is likely being attracted by the frenetic fervor of an organization in preparation for imminent salvation. If post-1975, she is being attracted by an organization publicizing its own self-righteous character and the appeal of a paradise or seenig a dead loved one return.

  Did she have a dysfunctional family as a youth? If so, she might be attracted to the outward appearance of a June and Ward Cleaver style household portrayed publicly by many JW families. If not, this would likely have little or no bearing on her motivations.

  On becoming a JW, is she a good JW who follows the endless rules, or somewhat of a rebel? If good, does she believe she's a good JW or is she (like most JWs) that she won't be good until paradise? If bad, does she feel guilty about it?

  Is she closer to JWs who are "enduring until the end", putting in the time until the system finishes, or is she closer to JWs who genuinely and actively believe and promote what JWs teach?

  Has she been baptized? Did she note a change in the way JWs treated her after baptism? Often JWs experience a bit of a let-down shortly after any major milestone as the novelty of that step wears off. The love-bombing and glad-handing associated with recent progress soon dries up, of its own accord, societally encouraging further progress without a word said. These milestones in no particular order include (-) meeting attendance, (-) commenting at meetings, (-) student talks, (-) field service, (-) baptism, (-) pioneering, (-) special form of service such as Gilead, Bethel, ect., (-) appointment as a ministerial servant or elder, (-) parts on Assemblies or Convention programs.

  The other posters have fleshed out a lot of the emotional details, but it seemed like this side of it was missing.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  Lady Liberty

  Dear PC,

  Welcome to the forum.

  Sincerely,

  Lady Liberty
• 

  mama1119

  I was raised in the JW. My Mom and Dad were sucked in by an uncle when I was a toddler. My family is now all out...it took a while, and alot of research, and of course this board. I don't think I had the worst of the JW lifestyle that alot of people did. I had a Mom who kind of saw through the whole thing, but was stuck, so she added some balance to being raised in it. I do know, it messes you up pretty good. The guilt and fear is alot to handle growing up, and it is ALOT of pressure. You tend to feel left out no matter where you go, school, kh, wherever.

  I hope you get some helpful responses, and welcome to the board!!!

  Mama
• 

  pcecilia

  auldsoul,
  that is all invaluable and thought-provoking knowledge...
  i was considering the fervor of 1975 as a contribution to her membership initially... but you have given me plenty of other ideas, as well...
  the psychological aspects that you brought up will be especially helpful...

  mj,
  i have written before, but this is my first expansive foray into writing... i just enjoy knowledge and implementing that knowledge into any creative art...

  all,
  i have long been atheistic, and my bias leans toward assuming that individuals only end up in organized religion out of weakness or the need for stability/comfort... it's unfortunate that i discover that this may be the only way to portray my jehovah's witness character, i was hoping that i would discover a perspective that countered my own...
  but what i have discovered through your stories and insights, instead, is just as valuable... it is knowledge and inspiration that i did not have before...
  but again, i understand that you all have (quite logical) biases against the organization, so until i speak with current witnesses, i cannot completely formulate an opinion...

  but i must say... you all have welcomed me so warmly, though i am coming from an outside perspective... i can't say enough positive about this board or the individuals on it... whatever you may view as mistakes in your past, know that from my little bit of exposure to you all, you have all grown far passed them and into wonderful, thoughtful individuals...
• 

  free2beme

  Sorry, but it seems odd to me to have a character be a JW in a story, when you know nothing about them. Being a writer, myself, I normally pull from things I know the best to get the best feel in a story. Only motive I could see in having a Witness in a story, would be at the best, comic relief.
• 

  pcecilia

  free2beme,
  the narrative depicted in the story was drawn vaguely from an occurence in my own life... so in that way i was writing what i knew... but my viewpoint was internalized, and the character, who interacts with the lead character much like the real-life witnesses and i interacted... but i had little reference for what her life might be like outside of that interaction...

  you see, i don't always have control of where the story goes.... and if it goes into a realm of unfamiliar territory, then i will do my best to discover as much as possible about that unfamiliar territory, in order to give the characters and situations realistic motives and significance...

  writing is mostly an exploration for me... it gives me new directions to focus my learning, and then i can expressively implement that knowledge back into the writing... it's a cycle of exploration...

  if i don't approach it that way then i will never get out of my shell of, admittedly, very shallow experience... just "writing what i know best" might be comfortable, but it's not ultimately conducive to growth in writing or in life...