Why is it so hard for people to be kind ?

by oldflame 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • arrowstar

    I wish I knew

  • jaguarbass

    Everyone is overworked and overtaxed, plus there always running late and in a hurry.

  • under_believer

    I suspect you are viewing the past through rose-colored glasses. Nostalgia is a powerful force, and almost always false.

  • oldflame
    Just yesterday I saw one dog pushing another to get it started.


  • free2beme

    I think the line is being kind and being taken advantage of. This world tends to see over kindness, as weakness, and prey on the person until they are kindnessed out and become like the rest of society.

  • Arthur

    I've had kind of a strange experience with this. I used to notice a lot of rudeness and discourtesy. However, in the past year or so, I have been working really hard in trying to be more, kind, courteous, and polite in public (opening doors, letting cars pull out ahead of me, etc.) It seems that since making these personal changes, people have gotten nicer. I seem to notice people being more courteous to me out in public. But, this has just been my own personal experience; and may not mean much.

  • Fleur

    1) Stress. I feel that can be a prime factor. It tends to block out the needs of others.

    2) Upbringing. Some good habits are learned or bad habits are learned from the home environment while growing up.

    3) Ignorance. I'm sure that I unknowingly cut someone off while driving. Sometimes we all zone out and are not aware of our surroundings

    I think Alligator hit the nail on the head there. I recently was pondering this question as well, thinking about the women that I used to work with and the ones that I used to wait on before I had to stop working. As time went on they got nastier and nastier...and I was wondering, when did it become fashionable to be a b**ch?

    Anyone who knows me on this forum knows that I am absolutely all for women's rights and standing up for yourself, speaking your mind and not being abused or dominated (this learned the hard way in my own life) but I don't understand why everyone is just so freaking mean.

    I have a new theory, though. People are on a hell of a lot of prescription medications that alter your brain chemistry, and your personality along with. I myself spent almost a decade on anti-depressants over the whole exodus from my old life/losing my whole family all that stuff.

    Months ago, I decided enough was enough. I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't happy, either. I was nothing, I felt totally numb.

    Now that my system has cleared, it's like I'm reading things I wrote in the last three years especially as if for the first time...and I'm like remembering who I was when I was a kid, before the world kicked me around a whole lot..and I was nice then. I really was nice!

    I didn't mean to hijack anybody's thread here, I'm just speaking from my own experience. I'm finding that old, nicer me and am finding ways to integrate it into my presonality now without going back to being a doormat. It's something of an art, not science. But I like that part of me, and I am happy to see that she wasn't completely murdered by the Borg.

    Someone once introduced me as "the sweetest person you will ever meet" when I was a teenager. A sister from my hall, actually, introduced me that way. And you know what? I really was. In my 20's I found my anger, and it has stayed with me. Boy, am I ready to try my absolute best to let it go now.

    Until people deal with what is making them so unhappy, they will be unable to show kindness to others. They hurt themselves first, and that spills over into everything and everybody else.

    I hope that makes sense. fuzzy head today from a cold coming on.



    (the kinder, gentler version LOL)

  • JWdaughter

    I live near Seattle. The joke here is that everyone is so polite that we cause accidents by yeilding too much. I don't know about that! I think my impression of other peoples kindness has a lot to do with my mindset on a given day/week/month. The worse I feel, the worse everyone else IS. I am usually in a pretty good mood, which makes you ALL look much better. Society can be a reflection of us, I truly believe that.

    Shelly -of the artlessly scattering daisies around class

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Sure have seen what you refer to here, but have no real answers I guess.

    The point was made - and I think a good one - that we tend to view the past in rosy shades that are often colored with false perspectives.

    I do, however, really remember a time when it was fashionable to be nice and genteel. I fear that in my community those days have passed. I too grew up in a very small town - not even a single stoplight there. The neighboring town had two or three back then. I live in that town now - and there are a great deal of changes with the people here. Still friendlier than the big towns I suppose - but far less than what it used to be.

    I put it to 'progress' - I wonder if it really is. With technology being what it is I can't see a return to those days in the future either. Perhaps the best we can do is as Arthur suggested and make our own circle of influence a little brighter each day. Carry our own sunshine so to speak.

    I would like to return to Gary's way of life there if we could though. We have an occasional dog pushing another here too - but with the leash laws those jump starts are shorter than they used to be.


  • greendawn

    Where I leave they are cold but not necessarily aggressive or rude, from what other poster said it seems as though each place has got its spirit and collective personality. In some societies they never accept outsiders, in others they do after a couple of years, and still in others after a few months.

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