I fell in love with a JW.....

hampstead

Now what?? We both fell in love. Hard. We are not two little kids, although it has felt like it at times. I have been going to all my meetings. I am serious about joining her one day...but there is such a 'caution' around it. She now says she must prepare herself for the possibility that I will leave the truth, as I am not baptised. The elders have told her this as well. They tell her that marring me will set a bad example. So who AM I supposed to marry, then???

I have been one hundred percent faithful to her in every aspect. I have stopped doing things I used to do. I have self control. I stopped smoking. I am clean. I cant date a JW cuz Im not BT. I cant date a non-JW cuz she's not a JW. So what am I supposed to do? I dont want anyone else. This girl has become my other half. We have been together in a manner unbecoming a JW, but we have stopped. Now we have 'broken up' because the elders said she must prove repentance. Isnt the fact that we have stopped physical relations a sign on both parties that we want to do the right thing? It bothers the heck out of me that for 2 years I was in her life every single day like a husband, and no one knew. I was the big secret in her life. Now I am but a memory to her alone. Her family never met me, her friends never met me. I became the big secret too hot to carry, so Jehovah 'became' the reason (excuse????) to kick my sorry behind to the curb.

Is there any hope? I want to be her head. Be the father to her children. Go out in service together. I was making such progress. Now my 'life support' machine has been disconnected, and I feel so very wiped out. Can anyone help???

mama1119

If she grew up in the org, and has family in it, chances are the elders will win. Its alot to lose, and unless she is one tough girl, it may not go your way. Educate yourself on what she is being taught, but DON'T join. It is not worth it. If she really wants to be with you, she will listen to what you have to tell her, and she may free herself, but if not, move on...

mama1119

Oh, and WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hampstead

thanks. Yes, she is a pioneer, and her family (mostly) is in. I find that there are many good things in the org, but I am studing regardless. I have learned what she is being taught, so thats good advise, thanks. She thought she might have become df over this, but instead she promised the elders that she will stay away. She is so scared of THEM, but not Jehovah all this time???

hampstead

oh, your child is a dream. Enjoy!

Kristofer

It's your very situation that brought me to this board. I'm not and never was a JW, my ex-girlfriend is. I haven't seen her face for 9 months now. We maintained contact through the phone until this past May. She told me everything would be ok if I was a JW. But I don't buy into it's mistranslations, deceitful interpretations and doctrines of men. She had to let me go. I was ready to marry her, to take her away. In some ways she's the better person because she always knew that she'd go back to The Org. She had the strength to walk away from me and I'm the fool that would do anything for love. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and wish we were together but I know deep down that my feedom, my faith and my happiness was at stake. I can't say that I'm happy we aren't together, but I'm happy I didn't become a JW. Ya know, I never thought I'd hear from her again as long as I lived. However, she called me two weeks ago, just to let me know she was alive and to see how I was doing. Deep inside me, I still hold on to hope. She would never listen to any of the information I would give her. She was in too deep for it. Yet still, I hold on to the hope that something will happen in the future. I think you've got to trust God. Never compromise who you are or what you believe. If she loves you enough, you'll be together. If not, and heart-break is the only outcome, I'm sure there are reasons it is all happening this way, lessons will be learned and who knows where the whole experience will take you next. Have faith my friend and trust in God. Stay strong -K-

bigmouth

"Is there any hope? I want to be her head. Be the father to her children. Go out in service together. I was making such progress. Now my 'life support' machine has been disconnected, and I feel so very wiped out. Can anyone help???"

Hampstead, welcome to the board. You are in a very difficult spot. I suspect your G/F has been given the frighteners by the elders to toe the line. You need to be aware RIGHT NOW that your girlfriends allegiance can only be to the Organisation if she wants to be accepted/re-instated.

My advice, and that of others here, will be to step back from the girl you love and think about whether you are willing to accept that The WT Society will control nearly every little aspect of your lives.

Stay a while and do some reading here if you haven't already. Most, but not all, here are ex-witnesses.

Kind regards Pete.

monkeyshine

You're lot is not as bad as you think. You can still research here and other places before taking that "plunge". A woman is not a reason to get baptized. Do you think THAT is what Jah wants, for someone to dedicate their life out of love for a woman and not for Him?

Just remember YOU are not wrong.

"There is no right or wrong, only popular opinion."-- 12 monkeys

mama1119

I was that girl before,VERRRY scared of the elders. I was dating a "wordly" guy, and felt I was very much in love. I was so afraid of being DF and what my family would do. It was the JW that pretty much drove us apart. He tried to study, but disagreed with it so much. I am forever grateful he didn;t, because, I feel, had he indeed become JW, I would be stuck in it to this day. I did eventually find my own way out, and am married to someone else with a beautiful baby and another on the way. he is not who I thought I was going to end up with, but I wouldn'change a thing.

hampstead

Thank you, all!! In 10 minutes I received some nice responses. Kristopher, you nailed it. It sounds like we have dated the same girl. This whole situation was a long work in progress. She said she would marry me, even though I am PRESENTLY not a JW. She said she would wait and that she would never or has ever met a man as kind and loving as me, but now she has vanished since the elders got her. BTW, we decided together that she should go to them. She wasnt caught.

I was thinking, when JW's go door to door while its raining outside, do the identify themselves to the homeowners as JEHOVAH' S WETNESSES???

I fell in love with a JW.....

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