Now what?? We both fell in love. Hard. We are not two little kids, although it has felt like it at times. I have been going to all my meetings. I am serious about joining her one day...but there is such a 'caution' around it. She now says she must prepare herself for the possibility that I will leave the truth, as I am not baptised. The elders have told her this as well. They tell her that marring me will set a bad example. So who AM I supposed to marry, then???
I have been one hundred percent faithful to her in every aspect. I have stopped doing things I used to do. I have self control. I stopped smoking. I am clean. I cant date a JW cuz Im not BT. I cant date a non-JW cuz she's not a JW. So what am I supposed to do? I dont want anyone else. This girl has become my other half. We have been together in a manner unbecoming a JW, but we have stopped. Now we have 'broken up' because the elders said she must prove repentance. Isnt the fact that we have stopped physical relations a sign on both parties that we want to do the right thing? It bothers the heck out of me that for 2 years I was in her life every single day like a husband, and no one knew. I was the big secret in her life. Now I am but a memory to her alone. Her family never met me, her friends never met me. I became the big secret too hot to carry, so Jehovah 'became' the reason (excuse????) to kick my sorry behind to the curb.
Is there any hope? I want to be her head. Be the father to her children. Go out in service together. I was making such progress. Now my 'life support' machine has been disconnected, and I feel so very wiped out. Can anyone help???