Getting Along With Family Members Still In TheTruth

by The wanderer 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  The wanderer

  Getting Along With Family Members

  Having had the experience of being a former Jehovah's Witnesses and understanding
  the position toward family members who have either left the "truth" or have been disfellowshiped,
  leads me to ask important questions. How well do you get along with your family members since
  you no longer attend meetings?

  Invisible Barriers

  Does the subject of going back to the "truth" ever come up again? Even, now and
  then? Do you feel comfortable around your own relations even though they are
  part of the organization and you no longer are?

  Can you kindly share what your individual experiences are regarding this issue.
  There is no need to get to personal, just whatever makes you feel comfortable.

  Respectfully,

  The Wanderer
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  jaguarbass

  Invisable Barriers

  Does the subject of going back to the "truth" ever come up again? Even, now and
  
  then? Do you feel comfortable around your own relations even though they are
  
  part of the organization and you no longer are?

  Can you kindly share what your individual experiences are regarding this issue.
  
  There is no need to get to personal, just whatever makes you feel comfortable.

  The only family members I have in the troof are inlaws. You choose your friends you dont choose your family. I guess in laws are on the family side. I didnt choose them. I try to tolerate them. When I am around them I feel as though I am around someone who has some retardation issues going on so I try to keep them at a distance. What does light have to do with darkness? One Brother in law who is an elder who I seldom see thankfully as he lives in Cleveland & I in Florida trys to seek me out for intellectuall encounters which have ended up friendly.To tell you the truth I stopped going to meetings just walked away in 83. I have more dissfellowshipped them or dissassociated them then them doing a number on me. I think it plays with their minds. I didnt follow their protocol. They ask my wife how come he doesnt like us? Can they really not know?
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  troubled mind

  We are newly inactive and are still stepping on eggshells with my in laws and our two oldest children . We vacationed at in laws this summer and just avoided saying anything we knew they would feel objectionable . My gag reflex got a work out though because they constantly talked about hall activities , assemblies , literature ect.. We just smiled and beared it, on meeting nights we found other things to do . I told my sister my true feelings and she just avoids getting into details with me . We stick to family and work talk . My mom is housebound and in bad health so I don't see the point saying anything to her . Our oldest sons know we are no longer active, but really haven't stated any opinions on the matter ....yet . Kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop on that one .
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  JWdaughter

  Most of my maternal family is/was JW-various levels of dedication/anger. There is so much disfunction that we are not often encouraged to be JWs again, but we are frequently given this "this wicked system of things" and "can't wait for the end" blah blah blah. Kind of sad, cause if anyone was to look at that side of the famly and only know JWs from our bunch, they would run SCREAMING the other direction. The levels of shunning vary-kind of funny, the worst of them are the toughest on the ex's. I mean the worst by the ones married the most, with the most addictions, or who have the most messed up families are the ones who judge 'the world' most harshly. Its exactly the kind of examples that JWs use to illustrate how messed up the 'world' is. But, they need to face it-they ARE the world, just humans like the rest of us-only the self-righteousness of the cult makes their bad behavior look worse.
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  blondie

  Is it "still in the truth" or "still in the lie."

  It will vary greatly depending on your personality, the personality of your JW family. Did you get along with them when you were a JW? If not, they I can guarantee you still won't get along with them. It also depends on your status, DA'd, DF'd, or inactive as well. How vocal are you about what you believe?

  Blondie (stays far away from her family in the lie)
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  done4good

  I really have to apologize concerning what I said in a different thread earlier today concerning family members still in the org. I just had about an hour and a half frank discussion with my sister over the phone, (a very gung-ho pioneer), actually, she was quite understanding of my differences with the organization, and had to agree with me on many points, in fact. Sometimes, it all in the presentation, IF you're allowed one.

  j
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  troubled mind

  My JW brother just called tonight while under the influence of alcohol ... and he wanted a heart to heart . Yet this seems to be the only time I hear from him . He went on about so much I don't know where to start , I don't know whAT HE WANTS FROM ME ? Maybe just to hear I love him .....then he starts with the whole got to accept Jah and org. or your gonna die at the big A .... SO frikin what... we all are gonna die some time . Wants me to be honest and real with him,.... but don't start saying any apostate crap . When I try to explain why I don't go to meetings anymore he just doesn't hear me . He is so stuck in and so unhappy yet he is addicted to the guilt and fear of it all .
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  beaver_shots

  yeah we all are going to die some time... who would want to live forever any way? Sounds way borring to me.
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  troubled mind

  Actually I think it could be great to live forever .....just not under the conditions set forth by the control freaks of the Wtchtower society . Really when I looked around the KH and thought of eternity with these people just made me depressed .
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  Not currently close to my JW family because they are "teaching me a lesson" and surely I will learn it and come back eventually, right? Wrong.

  What I will do though is decide that if they don't want me then I don't want them either. But I'll give them until next August before I make that choice. I guess they'd better shape up or ship out.

  It sucks. Shunning is the number 1 reason why I will never go back. I guess it doesn't work then, does it?