I got a letter this week from an old friend

by nsrn 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • nsrn

    Hi all. I'm musing over a letter I received in the mail, from by childhood best friend. It's a brief newsy letter asking about my parents, recalling some fun times, and recounting her happy 23 years of pioneering. Her 14 year old son stays busy with preparing for meetings....

    We were best friends from age 6 or 8. We spent every weekend at each others' houses. We vacationed together, whispered at meetings together, babysat together... vWhen I was 17, I gleefully told her that I had finally got up my nerve to tell my dad that I wasn't going to go out in service any more, and that although as long as I lived at home, I would attend meetings, my secret was out that my heart wasn't in this.

    I thought all along that she understood my position clearly. Of course, I should have anticipated her reaction, but it turns out her 'faith' was much stronger than I had anticipated. The reply was, ' So I guess that means we can't be friends any more.' You can imagine how that felt to a teenager--my best and closest friend blowing me off like that.

    So somebody please tell me that now, at age 44, seeing her handwriting and reading that letter should not make me feel sad and rejected all over again. This is so stupid! I wouldn't want to live that life for anything!

  • mouthy

    They are told the time is short. So she evidently cares for you ( also she can count her time it took to write) Is trying to move you to go back into bondage. This is your chance to reply & plant some seeds of truth ,showing how they covered over past "prophecy,s That were wrong.!!!! Sorry it upset you. But I would feel the same if I heard from a love one. But I trained my daughter - Granddaughter to well for them to disobey "mother" their Organisation

  • loosie

    Maybe she finally grew up.

    What did she say in the letter?

  • loosie

    I would write back saying. "you're telling me this because?!?!?!"

  • Shawn10538

    Well, of course it's normal to feel pain in your heart for a childhood friend. I still do all the time. But like a helpful WT once said about friendship, sometimes people just outgrow one another. You obviously came to an intellectual and spiritual awareness at a far younger age than she, and apparently she still hasn't matured to the point she can think for her self. It's sad, but some people never grow out of their need for cult involvement. Imagine her as a fragile little girl who would burst into a million little pieces if you ever took her little WT away from her. It's like her dollie, or blanky and she'll grasp on to it right on into the grave. Be glad to be rid of people with such low maturity in your life and vow to never become friends with like people again. There's my two bits.

  • looking_glass

    NSRN, it is natural. You are just experiencing your loss all over again, because you are probably hoping in your heart of hearts that your long lost (stress lost) friend now is seeking to pick up the friendship. I am sure that you like many people who have been shunned by JWs who they thought were their friends and loved ones only to find out it was conditional, hope that some day the ones you love unconditionally will some day come to their senses and love you back the same as you love them.

    I am sorry to hear that it has brought back sadness to your life. Maybe some day things will change.

  • BabaYaga

    Holy moly, HOLD ON... I see a possible correlation between this thread and another just posted???


    What do you think? Perhaps their focus IS on retrieving those of us who know better? Gods, I hope not... I don't want to have to face that from my beloveds...

  • BabaYaga

    Sorry, let me try again and see if I can get the link to work...



  • parakeet

    ***So somebody please tell me that now, at age 44, seeing her handwriting and reading that letter should not make me feel sad and rejected all over again.***
    I would feel more than sad and rejected; I would feel suspicious. No one contacts an old friend out of the blue after years of deliberate silence unless he/she wants something. Be on your guard.

  • nsrn

    Thanks for the replies. Yes, I do wonder what prompted this blast from the past. Could there have been at least a reminder to reach out to those who left? I am working on a reply in my mind, but I haven't put it on paper. She didn't ask about my position about religion, but did say how her 23 years of pioneering have just flown by (gag). I'm not going to challenge her, but I think I will reply including my happy years at the Methodist Church.

    She asked about my job, and my parents, and the lake cottage...I'd forgotten how much I missed her.

    Suppose she counted her time for writing to me? (What am I thinking...of course she did!)

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