by lonelysheep 40 Replies latest social relationships
Twitch: The general consensus here seems to be that a crush is a bad thing that must be denied and forgotten about as if it were a bad relationship.
Since I can't edit my earlier post, I'll clarify here. I think a crush on a coworker shouldn't be pursued. But otherwise, I'd advise exploring the possibilities with the other person.
Since I can't edit my earlier post, I'll clarify here. I think a crush on a coworker shouldn't be pursued. But otherwise, I'd advise exploring the possibilities with the other person.
Agreed
what worked for me was posting a little sign over my computer monitor "He's just not that into you". That way I could look at it and remember not to make a fool of myself everytime I thought about emailing him or going by his office to flirt with him.
Okie, thanks for that idea!
I don't flirt with anyone at work, but the feeling of weakness on the inside has to go. Although it's recently subsided, it is sometimes still hard to not get caught up in the attraction. It's made worse when I'm given 'looks' by him. I can handle it from anyone else but him.
FYI-Nothing will be pursued on either side.
marry him
Lol! True.
I also did as megadude suggested, and concentrated on the crush's negative traits.
I just wish I could find some!!!!!
Here's a question
What would be the respectable thing for the guy to do in that situation? It is a workplace of course but lets assume he isn't attached and catches the "looks" as well as sensing it isn't happening. And what if it wasn't a workplace?
It is fascinating to me to try to see things from the other side,.....
IMO--I know it'll suck but you have to actively pursue it or you'll never know. The last thing you want is to be wondering what if. And if it doesn't work it'll be devastating. But not more devastating than the constant wondering. Time will heal it. Right now, time is making it worse.
It takes six months, generally to get through almost anything that affects us deeply, like a break up, divorce or death. After six months you usually will have reached better perspective.
Since you must keep your crush a secret, why not just enjoy it? Crushes don't last forever most of the time. Eventually the crush object sticks a foot in the mouth or does something incredibly human to put you squarely back into reality.
It's almost been 6 months.
Any new developments? RU OK?
YC
Me giving advice on overcoming a crush is like Britney Spears giving advice on how to handle the pressure of fame with dignity, but I'll take a shot anyway:
The key thing is to prove to yourself that you have many other facets and that you enjoy a great many of those. Go places you like going to that you don't associate with this person. Get involved in something that intersts you that you've avoided in the past. Sign up for volunteer work. See a counselor.
Basically, it's like quitting smoking. If you can distract yourself through the cravings, you're already there.
