Missing the friends left behind

by The wanderer 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • The wanderer
    The wanderer
    Missing the friends left behind

    Often times on this discussion board individuals claim that they do not
    miss any of their friends that they left behind in the organization. It is
    understandable in a way, why they feel the way they do. Chances are
    good that the Watchtower Society had some kind of hand in that.

    That small percentage

    Quite honestly, there is that small percentage of witness friends who
    you remember and recall from time to time that you do miss. Individuals
    on this discussion board may fight me on this one, but it would only seem
    logical that after 5, 10, 15 years or more with them, and in particular, if you
    got along well with that person, you would miss them.

    Feelings for others

    A corporation cannot sever the emotional ties and goodwill that I had toward
    that small percentage of friends that I had in the organization. Sadly, the
    brainwashing that they receive with regularity places a barrier between us.


    The only regrets are that the lines of communication have been broken by a
    commercial enterprize masquerading as a religious organization. Overall, I can
    honestly say that--that small group of about 5 Jehovah's Witnesses that I left
    behind, I will love until the end of time.


    The Wanderer

  • cognizant dissident
  • zeroday

    Their love was always conditional. Never a true love. Their true love never existed. You as well as I was sucked into a belief that there was true love for all. In fact there was not. You gave love unconditionally and expected it in return. And yet you could have never believed your love would be returned in the same. Do not grieve over the supposed lost love, because it didn't really exist at all.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    This of course is the most painful realization of all, the fact that it was all conditional including the most sincere promise of eternal friendship. Those of us who are hurt most by this betrayal are the ones who truly loved and did for others for who they were and not thier "Level of Activity".

    Such a betrayl inspires self pity, then hatred, followed by missing what never was.

    I'll look elsewhere.


  • earthtone

    Me and my bestfriend are still friends (now) but I wonder what she would say if I told her I was an apostate. I honestly don't want to think about it. When she got df'd I shunned her but only because I thought it was the right thing to do not because my love was conditional. She is the sister of my heart. I feel she will do the same for the same reasons. Hoping , just like I hoped, that I will turn around. And not for any other reasons.

  • penny2

    I remember in my darkest hour, being betrayed by my best friend and then shunned by her when I wasn't even d/f. Took me years to get over that. I've seen families shun their most vulnerable - for life. You cannot rely on any "friend" found in the kingdom hall.

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    they rationalize us in the words of paul who said 'There are many who I use to speak of with fondness, but now I remember with a sigh' ( rough quote cant look it up right now.) the problem is to be successful in the troof you have to be willing to sacrifice friends for the Borg. When the BORG tells you not to associate with someone you must heed. so in the back of your mind and your psyche, is the realization that you can never get to attached just in case. How else can you explain the ease with which a 'loyal' friend will just consider you as nobody. It is there mind control at its finest.

    I still associate with some who still go. Like earthtone stated I wonder what their reaction would be if they knew my feelings about the Borg. Its a what have you done for me lately organization. When that is your mentality true friendship is a risky proposition.

  • earthtone

    the problem is to be successful in the troof you have to be willing to sacrifice friends for the Borg. When the BORG tells you not to associate with someone you must heed .

    Exactly!. It because you equate everything the Borg say's as Jah sayiing it. You then feel like you are disobeying God if you don't follow through. But you don't realize this until you leave. You don't start thinking about how much of this is man's law.

  • Mysterious

    I guess maybe I was an outcast then because honestly from my congregation I don't miss any peers. Though my best friend in the whole world is no longer a dub and I'm sure I would have felt differently had he still been in. I was disowned by many others and maybe this impact has not hit me yet, but as of right now I feel nothing for them at all.

  • fullofdoubtnow

    I do miss a few of the people I left behind, and I wish they'd come to their senses, likw I did. But they shunned me, I wouldn't have shunned them, so our friendship has ended because of their actions, not mine,

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