I married into a witness family 5 years ago. I am now divorced and out of that family. When I got married my now ex husband was disfellowshipped at the time. He expressed interest in returning and his family said I needed to start a study to understand the religion and who my husband was. I went to a kingdom hall alone one Sunday and was approached by a sister so I asked for a study. I was studying for about 6 months when my ex got reinstated, then all hell broke loose. His family became mentally abusive of me, telling people I was schizophrantic and crazy, and he bacame very abusive of me and started cheating on me with several women. My last straw was when I went for my yearly female exam I was diagnosed with Trich, Chlamydia, and Ghonorea. I was very faithful, and had not been with anyone at all, so I knew where I got the S.t.d.'s. I approached the elders with the info and my ex and his family said there was no proof he gave it to me, maybe I had cheated on him, hence the games began. He moved in with his parents and kept up his lifestyle, overdosing on drugs, taking off on the weekends while his parents watched his kids. I came home from work one day and saw all our stuff had been gone through and that alot of my daughters toys were missing. I had already rented an apartment, but hadn't moved in yet, so I called a witness friend and had 13 people show up and help me pack and move. I was told after I was moved out that I had to continue to work on the marriage if the ex showed interest in working things out unless he was proven of adultery. I got pics of him with another girl he took to Florida for a weekend, but since they were not kissing or holding hands in the pics, it wasn't proof of adultery. I had a P.I. hired and had him followed for a night and the P.I. documented proof of "genetalia manipulation" and multiple dollar and private dances at a strip club, but since I paid the guy to follow him that was not proof in the elders eyes. I taped multiple messages from other girls off his cell phone that were explicit, but still that was not proof.I even talked one of his girlfriends into calling the elders and she did, but they were told that the girl was my friend calling to only get him in trouble. I had to get a restraining order against him one night cause he stormed my apartment and assaulted me, and he was charged in court and given 2 years probation, jail time and 26 courses of anger management classes. I guess I got fed up with trying to always prove him as an adulterer, it playing major mind games with me, so I got a divorce and decided to move on with my life. Well, overnight I lost all my "friends".
I have since met an awesome guy, and am getting married. I haven't been around the witnesses for 2 years now, but I made the mistake of calling my old teacher when I heard she was preggo. I was just calling to congratulate her and now the witnesses won't stop coming by our house. I had my fiance tell them I was napping or showering when they would show up, but he just wants it to end, they stop by ALOT. I called my old teacher the other night and so now her and her elder husband are gonna stop by so we can talk about why I left. I am not a mean person, and also, since I am preggo myself, I don't want a big debate over the belifes etc.
The witnesses were great friends while I was studying and making progress, but when I started questioning the beliefs, they all left me very quickly. I need suggestions or advice on how to let them know I am not interested in studying again without being mean, but I also would like to let them know exactly why as well. Issues include the constant gossiping, demands for time, adultery issue (without having to drag up the past), blood issue, partaking at Memorial - why only the 144,000.
I have been away for so long I can't remember ALL the issues at that time, but I would also like this to be a learning experience for my fiance as he has never had any experiences with the witnesses except what I have told him. Also, my fiance is a war vet. He served a year in the heart of Baghdad for a year with the Army. He was in the Army for 5 years so maybe if anyone has anything about the witnesses being no part of this world, government issues etc. would be very helpful for him to hear from their mouths.
Any help I could get would be VERY helpful. My mind is going in so many directions.
Thank you for your time,