Okay anyone up to helping me walk through this ?

by troubled mind 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • sspo

    shower them with kindness,put a big smile on and show them you are a verry happy one as a fader.

  • KW13

    i really am sorry that i can't turn up with you, i hate saying its not possible but i am in the UK also, if ya could pay for my flight there and back i'd do it but i have a feeling thats a very expensive option (i am 17 with no job).

  • Sailor Ripley
    Sailor Ripley

    You're gonna nail this one just fine. By the way, our wedding photographer was so freakin' busy taking shots that he had no time to chit-chat... and he would tell you so. He was awesome.

    Big Smiles!

    Keep Truckin', you're on the right path, sister.

  • Scully

    My first thought was that maybe they dropped you and arranged for another photographer, but haven't had the guts to tell you yet. I hope you have a signed contract with them and a non-refundable deposit in case they have booked someone else. I'd hate to see you show up (having declined other job opportunities for the same day) and find out that they hired another photographer.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    You are right I will be to busy to really care the day of the wedding . My husband will be able to assist part of the day. He 's really the one I'm more concerned with either they will get him talking and make him feel guilty or ignore him as usual and make him sad . Either way I will be the one dealing with the after effects. KW13 thanks for the offer, but I'm not making that much of a profit to afford you ! Good luck on your job hunting though .

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Scully I know what you mean I have been half expecting them to decline, but they already paid half . I talked to them yesterday and they plan on paying the rest of the amount owed by Friday so I guess it's on .

  • Crumpet

    Bumblebee's advice is spot on - show them how much happier you are since you left. Be positive in all your comments and responses. You didnt drop them - you dropped their dumbshit religion. They should feel shamed for dropping you - in fact if I were you I'd make a few pointedremarks about the friendships you;ve made since leaving and how unconditional those friendships are.

    Good luck!

    (I am 17 with no job).
    KW - you are so cute! LOL! So why dont you have a job? hmm!
  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    The witness clan congratulate themselves frequently on how they copy the dress and grooming of the 'business world' in service attire, etc.

    Show up looking better than they ever thought of looking, be astutely professional and look 'successfull' on every level. The best ad for getting out is success. Smile constantly, and show them that you are not being pulled about by 'Satan' since leaving.

    I am in Indiana also or I would assist - but I know nothing of photography.

    Counter ribs and inquiry hints of returning with 'Oh, the Lord has blessed my in so many ways, thank you.' Then let it go.

    Follow up report please.


  • KW13
    KW13 thanks for the offer, but I'm not making that much of a profit to afford you ! Good luck on your job hunting though .

    ah, well the offer still stands , you'll all know when i get a job cos i'll post it.

    KW - you are so cute! LOL! So why dont you have a job? hmm!

    gonna get one soon, i PROMISE

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Follow-up on the wedding job yesterday ........... Pretty much how I expected it would go .....the actual wedding party were very cool. I had done half of their weddings or Senior pictures myself , and they treated me with respect . I ended up having my husbands cousin assist until he could get there at the ceremony. Most everyone introduced themselves and treated her well too. Except when we arrived at the hall one sister extended her hand to her , and when I introduced her as my hubbies cousin and she realized she was not a witness, she took her hand back without shaking . Left cuz hanging in the air ..we just looked at each other and laughed .She is use to crazy witnesses she has a lot of JW relatives on both sides of her family. I was among many "friends " that have known me most my life . The fake smiles and daggers in the back were all there sa expected. At the reception we sat with our equipment in a far back corner away from most of the crowd . During a break a brother approached our table and I thought oh boy here we go . This guy is really out spoken, in his early 60's, and just recently baptized last year . The first thing he said was funny , " I have to ask did you guys stop coming to meetings because I got baptized ?" Then he turned serious and started saying how much he really missed seeing us at meetings and don't we realize how everyone misses us . I said thanks I really appreciate the sentiment ....BUT if people REALLY missed us they would have called or stopped by our house seven months ago ! I told him my phone number has been the same for 27 years ... I told him no one has bothered so excuse me if I find it hard to believe the sincerity of being missed . He said well surly you've had a sheparding call ? ( I patted his arm and thought oh you naive little man ) I told him nope, and that NOW I DO NOT WANT ONE EITHER ! He said he could understand if we have become discouraged because we have had trouble with our son . THAT REALLY SET me off . I told him we don't have any trouble with our son , I said you know what I'm very proud of my son and proud of the fact he does not smoke , does not do drugs , dosesn't drink, is not immoral . Something I can't say about the kids he use to associate with at the hall . I said people were opinionated about his worldly friends and judged him badly for it , but I said I trust those friends much more than I did his witness friends . Then he replied well that was a rumor going around .I smiled at him and said I don't doubt that. The hall is known to gossip about things they know nothing about .He had to agree . He still couldn't understand why we would give it all up . I said I didn't give up belief in God . I had to quit attending to preserve my mental health I could no longer deal with the feelings of not being good enough , of fear , of guilt . He asked "Are you really happier now ? " And I said YES ,I now have peace of mind something I never felt while attending meetings . He said well you shouldn't feel guilty if you didn't get more time in than others we all answer to Jehovah not anyone else .I started Laughing and told him that is not how it really is and you know it , if you don't live up to standard you are looked down on . And said now I am trying to build a relationship with GOD , I don't need a bunch of men telling me if I'm doing it right . Who knows what will happen now . His wife is a well known spreader of bad news and he will no doubt be busting chops to find out why the Elders have not called on us . But I don't know maybe it will get him to thinking too .

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