I was asked a few months back to teach a class locally on Tuesday night at 7:PM. I thought it would be okay, and I started doing it in April. As it was not something with any time frame and more of a class that could go on for as long as time allowed. I was not really able to see it ending at anytime, and basically accepted that it would be part of my regular week. In the beginning, I enjoyed teaching it. In time though, it started to irritate me and I found it annoying that I had to plan my week around it and had to rush home from work to make it to the class on time. I also got irritated at the time I had to spend preparing and the attention I had to give it, even when I was not there. The thing is, I did enjoy the subject I was teaching, I just did not like the commitment. I know that people in this world deal with this kind of thing all the time, with having weekly events they have to attend. Why is it that I find such a schedule so annoying to me, why do I dislike being committed to do something that is weekly on the same time and day, why did I find it to be something that proved all the more so how fast the weeks are passing by? I personally think this is something related to being a Witness. I laugh about it, but at the same time I am amazed at how much my freedom means to me now. If anything comes up that gets in the way of my freedom to do what I want and when I want, outside of work, I am extremely rebellious. So what I was wondering, is anyone else like this or am I just a jerk? Oh, to add, I quit teaching the class and passed it on to someone else (At least I arranged a replacement).
Do you have issues with attending anything on a regular basis now?
I know what you mean free2berne. After all those years of rigid routine as a jw, I value my freedom far too highly to commit myself to any regular activity not work - related. When I left the wts, I consciously left the rigidity behind me, and I can't bear the thought of allowing myself to fall back into anything resembling that kind of commitment.
I know the feeling. I get nervous about going to church every Sunday, even though its one of those big ole come as you are whenever you want, I still feel like what if they see me there too much and it really is a weird church and Im just being love bombed and then Im trapped. Is this going onto a diferent topic, feels like it is...
Oh man, do I ever. I seem to be nearly incapable of following through on anything that happens weekly on a schedule. I go a few times, then start feeling like I'm being forced to participate. It's frustrating.
I have always been that way...........I almost cant do anything unless it is spontanious.
Too much scheduling is suffocating to me.
I try to stay non committal.........there are too many things in life that has to be done.
i thought i was the only one. i really hate things eating into my time now, after leaving the meetings i think i got too used to my freedom
I manage to go to work on a regular basis.
I manage to go to my classes on a regular basis.
I manage to attend union meetings on a regular basis.
I manage to attend my rehab appointments on a regular basis.
The difference is that these are all things I have chosen to do and I can see the benefit in it for me.
I have a dislike of commitment as well. I want to join a book discussion group, but can't see myself committing to a regular date and time. I went to a one day class awhile back. While I was kind of excited when I signed up two weeks ahead of time, I was over it by the class date. It was ok. Another time I signed up for a 4 week class that was 2 hours on Thursday night. I was tired of it by the third week.
It's been about 6 years since I went to meetings during the week. I wonder how long it will take to shake this.
It was 1997 the last time I went, and I seem worse about it now then I was in the early years.
I have that, too.