I'm so disappointed with myself!!

by fullofdoubtnow 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Thanks for all your support and encouragement.

    I will try again, I can't really say when. I guess I started again because I could - it was a kind of freedom thing, I was out of the borg and could do what I wanted, within reason, without worrying whether anyone saw me or not. Admittedly, smoking wasn't the healthiest way to show how free I was, but it's done now, and I'm paying for it in more ways than one. I don't blame anyone else for it, it was my choice, I just wish I'd chosen some other way, that's all.


  • restrangled

    Dear Linda,

    I totally understand! I've tried to quit numerous times over the last 17 years.....I have not made it past 3 weeks. I've been told that 3 weeks for some reason is a breaking point for a lot of people.

    You are not alone in your frustration!

    Best wishes,


  • luna2

    Linda, my father didn't quit until he was 70. Unfortunately it was a bit late in the game as he had developed emphysema and now he has to walk around with an oxygen tank and a tube in his nose. He's lucky really. Lots of people get cancer or develop emphysema at a much younger age.

    Good for you for trying...hopefully when you feel ready again, it will take.


    It`s alright,as long as your smoking tobbaco from Tobbaco giant Phillip Morris.. WBTS recieves money from the stock of this company,through a trust fund..LOL!!!!..Keep trying to quit.I understand it`s hard,but your health is at risk..It may take more than a few times,but keep at it..Good luck!!...OUTLAW

  • Riverwatcher

    Hi Linda,

    Just offering you a pat on the back because I know what you're going through.

    A few years ago, I was finally able to quit using the nicotine patch. It was much easier than I thought it would be. My husband had quit about six months before that. I was only able to stay smoke free for five months, then gave in and started again. I was frustrated and stressed, and was upset about the fact that I had "found" an extra 20 pounds in those short months.

    Well, here it is two years later and I'm still puffing away, although I've never smoked as much as I did when I quit. Still, it bothers me to no end. I've tried and failed many times in these past two years. But, I did find a website that I've been studying and I do find myself gearing up to quit once again. The website is www.whyquit.com. It's got a lot of information on it; real people with real stories to tell. There are numerous discussion boards you can join, but here's the catch...in order to log into the boards to post something, you have to have been nicotine free for three days. Of course, this is on the honor system, but still, I'm finding that I like this concept. It's almost like they're keeping you accountable or something. I've yet to quit, but in the meantime, I'm doing a lot of reading and learning a lot. You don't have to be nicotine free to read the discussions, just to post.

    So, I just wanted to share this with you in the hopes that it may help. Good luck to you ~ and good luck to me, too!!

  • parakeet

    I've never smoked and I have asthma, so I can't even be around smokers. But I have a healthy respect for the kind of addiction tobacco can cause. I think it's shameful that smokers are forced to stand outside in the cold to have a cigarette. Surely a more comfortable accommodation could be made that would still prevent smoke from getting into the rest of the building. Everyone knows smoking is harmful, but smokers should not be made to feel like losers because it's tough to quit.
    I read somewhere that the more often you try to stop smoking, the higher the odds you will eventually succeed. Don't be disappointed, fullofdoubt. Even the attempt takes courage. Good luck to you.

  • AlmostAtheist
    I have thought of trying some of the aids

    When I tried to quit last time, I chewed nicotine gum. For the withdrawal and all the craziness that goes with quitting, it sure did the job for me. I wasn't successful, but it wasn't the withdrawals and such.

    Don't beat yourself up. You tried and you didn't make it. Maybe next time you will.

    Whatever you do, don't let yourself feel guilty. After all, you haven't done anything wrong!

    Take care, and hang in there.


  • fullofdoubtnow

    Thankyou once again for all your support.

    I know smoking isn't a crime, but I still feel pretty ashamed of myself for not being able to quit. I've only been smoking regulary for about 7 months, and feel I should have done better than I did. Trev, who is still resisting temptation, says it's because I just wasn't ready to quit, and he was, He's failed before, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, but I still feel guilty every time I light up in front of him. He is so kind, so non - judgemental, I promised to try again soon, but he told me not to put myself under pressure to stop because of him, but to wait till I'm ready, whenever that is.

    The trouble is, I still enjoy smoking, and I always have. I would probably never have stopped if I hadn't wanted to be a jw, and used to sneak off in my car to have an odd one in times of stress when I was a jw. I felt guilty then, but still enjoyed the cigarettes, If I didn't enjoy it, I guess it would be easier to break the habit, but for now I'm stuck with it.


  • Quandry

    I used to smoke-gave it up to become a witness. Didn't want to be a slave to tobacco. Still don't. It is very expensive. I wish you could take the money you spend on this habit and enjoy a vacation with the money you will spend on it in a year.

    It is NOT GOOD FOR YOU. I saw my dad gasping for air before he died. It was horrible. It makes your skin wrinkle prematurely.

    Also, think of the money you are donating to this company that makes a product that sickens people and causes them to die.

    Just a few thoughts. You CAN QUIT. Don't give up. You are stronger than you think. Recall the many accomplishments you have made in life. Think of the accomplishments you still can make in the future. You are worth more than that roll of nicotine.

    Hope you'll keep trying. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

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