Thanks for all your support and encouragement.
I will try again, I can't really say when. I guess I started again because I could - it was a kind of freedom thing, I was out of the borg and could do what I wanted, within reason, without worrying whether anyone saw me or not. Admittedly, smoking wasn't the healthiest way to show how free I was, but it's done now, and I'm paying for it in more ways than one. I don't blame anyone else for it, it was my choice, I just wish I'd chosen some other way, that's all.