Did you have the perfect JW family?

by misspeaches 24 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  lovelylil

  In public yes. My hubby was a MS, I was a pioneer, both of our young kids were in the school and out in field service every saturday. The kids were polite and hubby and I got along great. We were often called the "ideal" family.

  At home - our oldest child (12 at the time) was depressed and stayed in bed all day long. Our son who was 10 used to cry that he was too tired to go to all those meetings and just wanted to watch cartoons on saturday like "regular" kids. My hubby and I fought all the time over doctrinal things and were on the verge of divorce. And I wanted to commit suicide.

  Within a few months of leaving the Borg. ALL of these problems were corrected. My kids are doing great and have lots of friends. My hubby and I hardly ever fight about anything, and I am no longer depressed.

  We discovered that we were all just stressed out and just plain tired of trying to put on appearences. It was literally draining all our energy and we didn't have time to just spend together as a family. And the WT was always a wedge in my marriage due to all the ridiculous rules for married people. We used to hold hands and kiss in public and even that is forbidden in WT world. Its like we stopped showing affection for each other and it spilled over in all areas of our lives.

  We had to learn how to be a family and married couple all over again. It took time but we are doing great. Lilly
• 

  misspeaches

  Good grief! How many of us come from utterly dysfunctional families????!!!!

  The watchtower doesn't make happy loving families. It destroys them.
• 

  Thegoodgirl

  Peaches, thank you, you said it.

  "The perfect JW family" EQUALS a messed up dysfunctional family. The less "perfect JW" the family is, the more healing is going on, and the better they are.

  My family had single pioneer mom, three kids who auxillary pioneered during their summer and December vacations. Like all of us, no socialization with normal people, not allowed to go to college, no sports, no clubs, no acheivements, no class trips, no parades, no holidays, etc. Thankfully, this slowly unravelled when we each hit our late teens, early 20's. Older sister married a Bethelite who turned out to be physically and emotionally abusive, and who thank god, cheated on her so she got out of that one. I just walked away (the fade) after a series of depressing events and Eureka moments. Younger sister got DF'd after running away, and moving in with boyfriend.

  We turned out very dysfunctional, I think.

  Now we are the terrible JW family,and the more normal regular worldly family. One sister still in, and tries to keep things as functional as possible, staying loosely withing JW-law. Mom has unfortunately lost some of her common sense and ablility to make sense and of course is still in, pioneering when she can. One sister df'd, but does the best she can with the non-education that she was given (she had a scholarship, but mom refused to sign the papers letting her move into the dorms of the university to which she was accepted, so she gave up and never went.) I have moved far away, and stay as far away from anything JW as I can (except for this website). I try to help my family, while tip toeing around the JW landmines-conversations, if you know what I mean. And my dad, who never was a JW has become more involved in our lives than ever, trying to pick up where my mom is leaving off.

  There is no family that can keep those standards. If there is, they are usually in need of some serious psychological help before long.
• 

  free2beme

  Ah ... no. I was raise by a Witness mother who got baptized in 1975 to make it in just in time. We were submarine Witnesses for most of my childhood, in that we surfaced from time to time. Most people who knew our family name, considered us weak. We had moments of being regular from time to time, lasted normally about a couple months. Hardly even remember going out in service as a child. My father nearly divorced my mother at one point unless she agreed to two holidays, which we did Thanksgiving and Christmas. My mother would show up, cook the meals, and try to act like it was not really happening. In my teens I got really rebellious to the religion as I hated it, and my mother and father got a divorce about the time I moved out and my sister got married. I then got depressed and weak from the change in life and grabbed the first think I could to give stability, the religion and got baptized. A month or two later my mother got disfellowshiped for having sex with have the town and doing drugs. She was so bad I did not even invite her to my wedding. Then she came back in after her second divorce and remarriage to the man she is with now. I left the religion in 1997 and my spouse left it at the same time. My sister left last year and my mother is now married to a nonbeliever and is the only person left in. So to answer your question, not even close.
• 

  Blub

  I spent my entire life reading about religions and cults. Most of them are only similiar versions of others. I always said that too much of something is never good. Either is you own mother's kisses, the sex with your girlfriend, a stab in the back, a cigarette or a glass of wine. Luckily I have or had all this and never got hooked. No matter you're looking at God, Jesus, Buda, Ala or all the Hindu gods you should be learning what is right and what is wrong and then play by ear. It's not rare to find the wrong doings at our door step. It's when we least expect it to happen that it does. JW are no different. You shouldn't be leading your life only by what men or elders say but by your own and God's standards. You are an inteligent person so you should know what is wrong and what is right. So do your good the best you can, respect other people and learn with all of them. You shouldn't close your eyes to what you perceive is bad. You should go out and judge by yourself, explain to your sons why it's bad and let them see it as well. You should talk to your Father alone and not have a human middle man between you and God. In the end there is nothing in the Bible that will teach you bad. Am I that wrong?