Did you have the perfect JW family?

by misspeaches 24 Replies latest jw experiences

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  misspeaches

  Just wondering... How many of us had the perfect JW family?

  By that I mean, never in trouble with the elders, no loss of restrictions, no disphellowshippings, disassociatings, fadings, reproof - public or private.

  Of course most of us fit one of these categories. What about any other families in your congregations? Did ANYONE live up the ridiculously high ideals/standards?

  In my own family my father never was a believer, my sister and I faded, my mother was disphellowshipped once and my brother disphellowshipped twice. My sister in law was disphellowshipped once and my ex brother in law disassociated himself.

  I don't think its humanly possible!
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  IP_SEC

  ummm no, and no
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  Finally-Free

  By that I mean, never in trouble with the elders, no loss of restrictions, no disphellowshippings, disassociatings, fadings, reproof - public or private.

  I think a family would have to be seriously dysfunctional to meet those criteria.

  W
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  Lady Lee

  well aside from the family I came from (just plain crazy) and the family he came from ( just plain weird) we managed to create what looked like the "perfect JW family"

  Young sisters often said when they got married they wanted a family just like mine - elder husband, submissive wive and two well behaved daughters.

  Then I blew everything out of the water and people realized maybe our marriage was as perfect as I made everyone think.
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  sammielee24

  How many of us had the perfect JW family?

  Mine was. We were out in service by the time we were in first grade. Never drank, no smoking, no sex, no dating, no foul language, no school activities - part time jobs, pioneered, only socialization were those in the 'truth'. Perfect family. We all got married in the 'truth. Sisters husband was an elder. Brother is an Elder. I was an Elder. We all married other JW's - no association (even family) with worldly people. We did not take vacations except to attend DC's. All of our discussions revolved around the 'truth'. We moved to 'where the need was greatest'. Kids were home schooled to remain strong in the 'truth'. Every moment of every day was given over to what I believed was the 'truth' thus when I left I was destroyed by my entire family. Realizing that the 'truth' is not the 'truth' and nothing more than a lie based on a thousand lies and callous manipulation was devastating. Realizing that you gave your life up for nothing was devastating. Realizing that you had the perfect family only as long as you held the illusion was devastating. Realizing that you raised your kids believing in the same 'truth' and that by doing so you might have ruined their chances of having a semblance of a normal life is devastating. I had what appeared to be the perfect family - I actually didn't. I'm far happier now but not without anger at being misled and not without some bitterness of a life filled with lost opportunity. Those feelings don't rule my life - but they do well up in me from time to time....
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  Honesty

  I think a family would have to be seriously dysfunctional to meet those criteria.

  W

  I know that ain't right because the one family in my old congregation that had DF'ngs, Public Reproofs, unplanned out of wedlock pregnancies, and poor meeting attendance was called DYSFUNCTIONAL by all the pioneers and elder's wives.
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  misspeaches

  Oh my goodness SammieLee! Your world must have come crashing down around you big time!
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  Arthur

  No. We weren't really "dysfunctional" but, we certainly weren't an example of "theocratic advancement" either.

  Although, I do remember one family we knew that could have been considered the proverbial "perfect JW family". I say that not only because of their conduct, but because they were all very humble. None of them seemed sanctimonious in any way. They were just really good, wholesome people.
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  BizzyBee

  I'm far happier now but not without anger at being misled and not without some bitterness of a life filled with lost opportunity. Those feelings don't rule my life - but they do well up in me from time to time....

  And rightly so.

  There was a lovely family in my youthful association - the Coopers - mom, dad, three boys and a girl - very sweet people. Don't know if it remained so - what is the long-term effect of promises and dreams deferred? You'd have to know someone very intimately to be able to judge over the long-haul. Maybe little Greg was gay, Ronnie a wife-beater, Mike a closet cross-dresser, Melinda a leather-freak coke-head. Who the hell knows? I don't.
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  SirNose586

  We weren't perfect, but we were example enough. Dad was an elder and we kept out of trouble and made him look good. Then he couldn't bear to spend that much time not upbuilding the family (always being busy with elder issues) so he stepped down. We move to where "the need is greater." We avoid congregation drama. Our popular grandparents move in and we are set--we don't need to pioneer, just stay out of trouble for the most part. Some things happen, but we avoid scandal through tight information control.

  There is a family in my congregation...all are pioneers and the father is an elder. This family fits the bill of "perfect dub family." Sadly, the kids and the mom are about as interesting as tree bark.