I need some friendly support...

by LuciousJ 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • LuciousJ

    Wow, what a loving 'family' JWD has. You know what strikes me as so funny? When we were in the org. that is supposed to be the most loving & non-judgemental faith out there.....we never received this kind of love and support. I can remember more often than not....going to a meeting and feeling 'worse' after I left. The cliques, the snobs.....just awful. I've developed more friendships being a non JW than ever before. Thank you all again for your replies and advice. I will heed it well. Your love & support is a true blessing.

    Forever grateful-


  • Odrade

    you have PM. upper left hand corner.

  • garybuss

    I expected decency from members of a group known for indecency, and what I got was indecency, and I was shocked.
    I've made it a policy to accept disrespect once up close, and from then on those people can continue to disrespect me, but they must do it from a distance.
    It's dangerous for me to have high up expectations of low down people. If I expect they will treat me bad, I'm seldom disappointed. I go to relatives with my guard down, they know that, and it makes it easy for them to hurt me.
    Relatives know my weaknesses. I never do battle with an enemy who knows my weaknesses.
    As far as the Witness grandmother, I get cold chills. I allowed my Witness parents access to my sons and my dad came into my house and studied with my second oldest son. He was baptized and started to not associate with me in our home, i.e. not saying a greeting, not eating with me, and not conversing with me. (Called fractional shunning).
    After he graduated from high school he moved out and shuns me to this day. I've had over 15 years to think about this.
    Two of my sons became Witnesses and both shunned us for a time.
    I wouldn't let a Witness grandparent within 100 miles of my children.
    If you don't answer her email or contact her in ANY way at all, she will contact you again. She's exposed herself to you and it's not a pretty picture. She just gave you all the power unless she's your employer, landlord, banker, or some other dependency situation.
    If she's your employer, landlord, or banker, you need for fire her, then build a HIGH wall to protect your children, and your own sanity.

  • LuciousJ

    smartest reply yet. My mother emailed my sister today (who told my mom off about this whole thing) and her response was "NAME is dead to me".......wonderful christian & loving mother you think?! I won't ever have to worry about her seeing or talking to my children for she lives 2500 miles away and wouldn't dream of spending the money to see us. She'd rather blow it on bingo (yes, she gambles......don't you love the Pharisees?) and chinese food.

    I'm over it. I'm moving on. She's the one I have to feel sorry for. I thank Jah that he is so loving that he will allow ME to pray for HER. :-)

    - J

  • james_woods

    LuciousJ, I sure feel bad about that stuff. I have been there myself with a good part of it.

    You know what? I had to read it a couple of times to get it all in! - so this is a person who does Xmas & Birthdays, associates apparantly with whoever she pleases, is not above playing bingo, and has apparantly herself been disfellowshipped...and suddenly snaps in the space of 24 hours???

    I am going to put forth a couple of guesses -- no offense, I hope.

    1. Somebody in that congregation has gotten to her and is manipulative of her for their own reasons.

    2. As previously posted, your mom may be having some delusional thinking which makes her more susceptible to problem #1. The descriptions you have given of her behavior extremems do not indicate anything like rational thought.

    We discovered my own mom to be doing stuff kind of like this a few years back - it turned out to be the first stages of Altzheimer's. My sister actually started using the onset of this disease to try to control her life and finances, etc. I am still fighting this one out in court.

    When the dust settles a little, it might be good to find out if the other sisters think there could be something medical going on here...


  • Yesterdays Child
    Yesterdays Child

    Boy does your mother sounds like the letter I got from my MIL. They must have got a talk from the same elder LOL " Throughout the years after having come to know through your marriage to my daughter you have been a very kind and thoughtful person, sometimes more than my own son. I don't think that a mother-in-law could want a finer person for a son than you. However, it is very unfortunate that I will have to change the way that I will relate to you now and in the future. As you are very well aware my loyalty to Jehovah is very important to me and comes before anything and anyone.

    If I am in your home to see my grandchildren and daughter I will give you respect:; But I will not be able to socialize with you nor eat with you again. Your co-operation in this will certainly be appreciated. And if you would rather that I not come to your home I will certainly understand that also and will comply accordingly in which they can come see me.

    So once again I want to say thankyou very much for all the concern you have shown me in the past and maybe one day we will be able to communicate openly and without reservation,for you did become a son to me.

    With Love, your mom in law

  • LovesDubs

    It sounds like she just got her copy of the September WT that delineates how to treat their relatives who "leave Jehovah"...if you havent read that one it is posted here. What she is doing is PRECISELY what they told her to do towards you.Jehovahs Witness Discussion Forum - Topic: FRESH OFF THE PRESS.... 9/1/06 WT "When a Loved One Leaves Jeh." (page 1)

    Im thinking that she is hating HAVING to do this to you and she is obviously torn. Just remember its not HER...its THEM and she would rather NOT be doing this.

    Hang in there...she might decide to tell them to go jump.


  • rebel8
    I need some friendly support...

    Here you go.........

    Here's friendly:

    And here's support:

  • done4good

    I agree with the posters above. Someone got to your mom and "shook her up" a bit. Be patient, this will calm down.


  • nsrn

    Boy, am I sorry you are going through this! I agree, she read the article cited above. Also, did she just get back from the assembly? Nothing like a revival!!!

    Hang in there, and remember that the insanity stops with our generation, if we don't take the bait. Nancy

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