jws celebrate birthdays?!

by dobbie 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • dobbie
    dobbie

    I was speaking to a friend last night, trying to explain why i don't go to meetings etc,(waste of time though she just can't seem to understand my point whatever i say), anyway she said as long as i don't d'a myself she can still speak to me. She said they only d'f you if you commit a gross sin. I refuted this saying if they knew i didn't agree with some of the teachings, sent a fathers day card etc and you weren't sorry they'd get rid of you. Then she said you can be a jw and celebrate birthdays,etc and they can't do anything about it as it's not a gross sin!Has anyone heard this before?Seems like one of us is on another planet, hopefully not me! Was too shocked to ask her more as she also said some pretty hurtful untrue things to me and she was my best friend for years.Just wondered if anyone heard this before because i thought if you participated in any celebrations you'd get d'fd for sure.

  • Effervescent
    Effervescent

    I think she's deluded... I'd dare her to try and then report back her findings....

    It seems when people get hauled in for piddly stuff... it becomes more about the persons "attitude" and "obedience" than the crime itself.

  • smellsgood
    smellsgood

    "I was speaking to a friend last night, trying to explain why i don't go to meetings etc,(waste of time though she just can't seem to understand my point whatever i say), anyway she said as long as i don't d'a myself she can still speak to me."
    Did she call you? Was she digging for information? Of course, if she is JW in good standing, with her brain scrubbed shiny with indoctrination, then it would seem to me natural that she wouldn't "get it." It's like trying to explain to a hardline trekky why you don't think the 2 years they spent studying kling-on (kling-wrap, static-kling, whatever) was not a worthwhile pursuit. You say it, and then they just get angry and cuss you out in klingon.

    "Then she said you can be a jw and celebrate birthdays,etc and they can't do anything about it as it's not a gross sin!"
    Then throw her a surprise birthday party and invite the Elders! What fun!

    smellsgood

  • 24k
    24k

    Your friend is completely wrong, as you probably already know. I was disfellowshipped purely for my disagreement with watchtower dogma. And I wasn't sharing my feelings with others. They learned of my beliefs by grilling me during "sheperding" visits, and disfellowshipped me after meeting 3 times for approximately 45 minutes per visit. This after a lifetime of service to the cult. It just kills me how deluded people can be.

  • V
    V

    My JW parents send me a "birthday card" every year, coincidentally of course.

  • dobbie
    dobbie

    Smellsgood, haha good idea am getting the party invites out ready now! I felt really terrible fathers day this year not sending cards, but too scared to do it in case i got found out. At least next year i can do it now and tell them its okay i was told we can celebrate holidays!

  • dobbie
    dobbie

    24K this is what i was trying to explain to her at the time, that i disagreed with certain society teachings, things she herself admitted lots of jws have problems with, then she said this, but as she has been a jw most of her life i figured she must know more than me about it. I know they are going to call on me one day, and then my days will be numbered! She also said i wouldn't be d'fd or anything when i said i'd written to my dr to tell her my children and myself would accept blood in any circumstances i find that very hard to believe - will probably find out soon.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I think alot of witnesses do their own thing when it comes to holidays they just don't talk about it with others . For example I was raised a witness in a divided household , we always had a Thanksgiving dinner w/relatives . After my marriage to a witness we attended his worldly families turkey day. His witness relatives would attend too until his step dad and step brother became servants, then we were all told we couldn't do it anymore because they would lose their appointment. So no matter that it didn't bother our conscience we had to follow their lead to appear unified . Those family times had been some very good memories to me , so when we had children I wanted them to have the same experience . For years I always had Turkey on t-day sometimes just our family sometimes with my parents . I know a few other families that did the same thing they just didn't advertize it . On birhtdays we had a tradition that the birthday child would get to pick what we had for supper and dessert that day, and some time that week they usually got to buy something special . Now that they are all older I send them birthday cards with money so they can go out to eat if they want . (no objections yet ) Again this is not something I would openly express to other witnesses . I am old enough now to do more of what I feel like doing and not so much what others tell me I should do ! This year I accepted a xmas gift at work and sent a work mate a B-card . The witness that also works there has since shunned me ,but so far no contact by elders . Not that I would really care anymore what they think .

  • mama1119
    mama1119

    My family was like troubled minds...we got to go out to dinner and my Ma would buy us somehting special and we were allowed to accept gifts from non dub families, just had to keep it all on the DL...although now we party like rock stars on b-days!!!!!!!!!!

  • eyeslice
    eyeslice

    No they don't. I grew up a witness and never celebrated my parents birthdays, my brothers and sisters birthdays and later on my kids birthdays.
    Birthdays are still a thing I am not quite comfortable with even with my worldly friends and work mates. Old habits die hard.
    Eyeslice

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