Making real friends

by choosing life 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • looking_glass
    looking_glass

    It can be true what SS said about friendships in the religion being conditional. Not always though. I still have a lot of friends who are like me (faded) and some who are still active. We never bring up religion. I think when the only thing a person has in their life is their religion (which often times is the case with JWs) then they have nothing else to discuss. I am fortunate that I have friends who are more then one dimensional and thus, we have lots to discuss and it is not religion.

    I have always been very social. Even as a kid I was quiet, but I always had a lot of friends. I was the one organizing people to get together. I was the one that had people over at my house. Even though I was in a hall with a lot of old people, the surrounding hall had tons of kids and we all hung out. After leaving the religion, my friend base expended that much more.

    I do think sometimes the reason for our hesitation in making friends is the trust issue. We have to get over the people will reject us just because they can. Although this is true, most people you feel an affinity to, will feel the same towards you.

    Charli - the chick at worked that pointed out that you have no friends ... what was her motive. She obviously wanted to be mean spirited. No one would ever normally do that. So take it for what it is worth ... empty words. If possible, stay away from her, her intentions do not seem true. Anyways, she has no clue what you do on your off days. You should be careful with on-line chats because people can pretend to be whomever they want. Just watch out for yourself and always be smart about what you share. I agree with your mom, pick up a hobby that you think you will enjoy and see who you meet thru that. But my guess is that you are shy and have a hard time stepping outside of your comfort zone. At first it will feel strange, but believe that you can do it and eventually you will and you will reap the rewards.

    And as someone pointed out, you have to be smart about the friends you make. But I believe if you behave as a good friend, you will find good friends, because people will just naturally want to be friends with you.

  • teela(2)
    teela(2)

    I found going to hoppy clubs. I have been to Cake decorating club and now a quilting guild. I go to adults Tap dancing as well. This has exposed my to a wide group of people, all of which I have something in common with. These Clubs and guilds have social events and after a while you notice that you get on well with a couple of people and start socialising oustide of the club or class and this is the start of a freindship.

    Good luck

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