Your Funniest House-to-House Presentations

by Good Girl or Bad Girl? 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  So when my brother was a wee little lad, my mother was helping him prepare his first presentation. It involved a paradise tract, I'm sure.

  Anyway, so my brother, probably about 5 or 6 years old, stands at his first door and makes his little presentation. Except he kind of forgot what he was going to say and kind of made it up on the spot, because what he ended up saying was, "If you'd like to live forever you can have this tract. I don't know what it says, because I never read it."

  My mom was very embarrassed and upset. We kids, though, laughed about it for years. Awww, cutie baby brother.

  Later, same brother made up a new presentation. He was probably about 12 years old and had decided it was stupid that Mom and Dad made him go door to door and talk to people about something he didn't personally give a hoot about. So he started to say to householders (in a very deadpan way): "Resistance is futile." Until my mom found out and promptly put a kibosh to that.

  I just find these to be quite funny. Maybe you had to be there.

  But anyway, do you remember really funny presentations made by you, your siblings, or your friends?
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  Gopher

  I don't remember anything personally. I did hear at an assembly something you would NOT want to say:

  "We have a message for you from outer space."
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  I thought of another one:

  When people would say "I'm not interested" before my friend could say anything, she would say "Of course you're not interested! I haven't said anything interesting yet!"

  This would usually catch them off guard and then they'd maybe listen. OR they would just think we were rude kids.
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  Warlock

  Hi Good Girl. Welcome to J.W.D.

  I remember going to a door that had a sign that said "No Soliciting by people over the age of 14". I knocked on the door and when the guy came to the door, I told him "She's 13" pointing to my # 1 daughter. She gave her presentation and he just said "No, thank you".

  When I told the p.o., he said "You did that? You're kidding" I told him "That's what his sign said, so that's what I did".

  Warlock
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  Thanks, Warlock, I'm glad to be here.

  That was pretty ballsy of you. I think it's great.

  I had a CO who came up with the craziest things to say at the door, but I can't think of any of them right off-hand. They were essentially ways to trick people into listening to you.
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  SirNose586

  One time I went out with a good friend of mine and we were just really in a flippant mood. I'd start off by saying, "Hi, I'm Batman and this is Robin," or "Hi, my name is Bert and this is Ernie."
  It broke the ice and got a few chuckles out of the householder. Not like we placed anything, though...of course that wasn't our goal anyway.
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  Oh I just thought of one the CO would use; he'd say, "I'm selling the best life insurance there is, and it's FREE!" It was pretty cheesy, actually.

  OR, and I think this was actually kind of smart, he would knock on people's doors and say "I'm here to show personal interest." People would say, "What?" He didn't have a Bible or a publication of any kind in his hands. He would say, "I just want to know how you are doing? How are you?"

  People were so taken aback (he has a great personality so that helps, I'm sure) and often would talk to him for 30 minutes or longer.

  THEN the NEXT time he stopped by, he would drop the bomb on them. They didn't even see it coming. They never stood a chance.
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  One time I went out with a good friend of mine and we were just really in a flippant mood. I'd start off by saying, "Hi, I'm Batman and this is Robin," or "Hi, my name is Bert and this is Ernie."
  
  It broke the ice and got a few chuckles out of the householder. Not like we placed anything, though...of course that wasn't our goal anyway.

  See, that's what I'm talkin' about! That's great SirNose, I never had the guts to say anything like that!
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  Warlock

  Good point about tricking people. I did know an older brother, though, who would just say right up front "We're Jehovah's Witnesses........"

  Out of everyone I ever went out with, he was the only one that ever said that.

  Your point about being "ballsy". After doing it for a while, I didn't have a fear of talking to people. I would talk to anyone. I rather enjoyed it, especially when the conversations would move from religion to other topics.

  Warlock
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  LDH

  These are hilarious. Thanks for sharing. Those little kid stories are the best.

  Some ones that stand out in my mind.

  Late 80's, when I was a Reg Pio, we were so tired from book sales and cleaning the Miller Bottling Company factory and meeting attendance, most of us went out to sell without ever reading it. I was with another young girl named Brenda, she did her presentation with the magazines upside down in her hands.

  She told the householder that she would like to share a message about "Hope for the Mentally Three" LOL, of course with that wack-ass font the WT used, the word ILL looked like III in Roman Numerals. That is one of my favorites.

  Not necessarily a presentation, but one day a young pioneer brother named Chip was stomping the snow off his service boots and the entire HEEL came off on the sidewalk. You could hear CLOMP Skritch CLOMP Skritch for a couple of steps before he realized he was walking on three nails protruding out of the bottom of the boot! Hilarious!!!