Could he be DF??

by Lilycurly 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lilycurly

    Lets say a father has an adult child that wrote a DA letter. They are not living under the same roof anymore, so, working with the WT's teachings the father don't speak to the DAed person. But he still continues to see the child regularly, going to the movies, eating at restaurants and sitting besides each other at family barbecues and gatterings. In other words, doing everything like they used to be, only no talking involved.

    Can this be cause for Disfellowshipping? Or can it be acceptable and seen as a matter of conscience.

  • jaredg

    yeha he could still get DF....the stipulation is that you are to "quit mixing in company with such a person not even saying a greeting". plus that would just freaking wierd.

  • Scully

    It could be that because there are Worldly™ relatives involved in family gatherings, he is given some leniency by the congregation. There is a rationale to this behaviour: they do not want to "give a bad witness" to the Worldly™ relatives or Stumble™ them into thinking that les Témoins de Jéhovah are fanatics. Especially if the Worldly™ relatives have "read him the riot act" and told him that they plan to not include him in family gatherings if he insists on excluding you. It's funny how the rules can be bent when the JW is threatened with being "shunned" by Worldly™ relatives.

  • Lilycurly

    Ha! Yeah, weird is the word. (I would know...)

    But let's say the father gets found out, and he's been doing that for months and even the elders would ask him about it...but the father is still a strong beleiving JW so he'd say he repents. Will all of it be forgotten on the spot? I mean, it was a repeated "sin", can it be seen as a momentary weakness, or is it more serious??

    *Scully*---I guess this could apply, since he is the only JW in the whole family....but that is so unfair to other parents who must shun completly...(Loved your little article on the subject.)

  • Scully

    I doubt that the Elders™ would create a problem for him. He's doing his bit by not talking to you at the family gatherings. He likely has no control over whether you are invited or not, and doesn't want to miss a family gathering, and doesn't want to appear "fanatic" to his non-JW relatives. It's all part of Theocratic War Strategy™.

    Of course, you could always contact the Elders™ yourself and ask them what the proper course of action for him would be. They'd probably tell him it's better to not go to a function where you are going to be (yet your mom is exJW too, if I remember correctly) so this is doubly awkward for him.

  • Lilycurly

    Yes, it's a complicated situation, with my mom and all and him being totally alone in the cult...(you are very good to remember details like that.)

    I'm sure it's very awkward for him, and for the rest of us also...but I still feel it's very unfair to other JW parents who are forced to shun. I wouldn't dare asking the elders though...we've had trouble enough already dealing with my DA and all. I hate trouble. But we are still trying to find a solution to make my dad realise the funk he is in...

  • Uzzah

    It is a case of it being none of the elders business. To think that a groupd of insecure little men feel they have the right to insert themselves into a family (nevermind into the bedroom of married couples). I applaud this man for continuing to want a relationship with his family. Not sure how the elders would find out unless he tells them.

    He wouldn't likely be df'ed right away but pressured to back off lest he lose precious privileges of service and not being able to be used as an example.



  • sspo

    Page 103 of Elder book says a relative would not be DF just for associating with a relative as long as he does not talk about spiritual things.

    Of course at all depends on the elders, if they want to nail you they will, it's them as a body against a publisher with no power.

  • LovesDubs

    Look what happened to Ray Franz? He was DFd for associating with an EXJW even tho the guy was his landlord and boss.

    I suppose it depends on just how badly they want to "get you".

    I think the older the DAd child is....the less inclined the elders would be to be at all sympathetic.

  • The Lone Ranger
    The Lone Ranger

    yes he can be DFed. Firstly he is still assocating with him, they apply they verse "should even eat with such man", and also you can be DFed for "conduct not becoming of a christain", so really if you don't listen to the elders and piss them off, they can DF you for anything.

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