At the suggestion of jgnat, i'm gonna pour my heart out to give the whole story of my current situation. I've also moved the thread topic to the friends category as i no longer consider this a private matter, so now everyone can help!!! I apologize for this being so long. To protect everyone, i have changed the names. Okay, here it goes:
So i met Lynda at work. I remember the first time i saw her i was still on evening shift and she had just started. Her beauty was so captivating, but i am shy and didn't even approach her. This event planted a seed that i didn't know would grow. I saw her maybe two more times in the following weeks. Flash forward about eight months. My big opportunity: I had been moved to day shift. I had relly enjoyed evenings, and was only doing this as a favor for a coworker (who no longer works there by the way). I hadn't even thought of Lynda for months, but there she was and the sight of her took me back to the firs time i saw her.
I didn't give it much thought, to me she was unattainable and probably married anyway. I mean, here was a young, beautiful lady and she was on the security force of a government contract company. In fact, she was the 4th in the chain of command the "officer in charge." She had to have som guy snagged up bye now, after all she was well into her twenties. Well, my coworker, Bob, kept pushing the issue. Bob is like the father i never wanted. Crude, rude, gross, and an all around good guy for good times! I blame him for hooking us up. He tried to push another girl, too. He said, "one or the other. Or why not both?" I finally started talking to the other, mostly flirtation. Lynda was different. I didn't even approach here until i was forced into it (okay, so maybe i kind of wanted it). I remember walking up to her, she staring me down wondering if this time i'd actually talk to her. I said, "Bob said you wanted to talk to me. I'm sorry about him, but you know how he is." she said, "Oh yeah, I know him! It's okay. If you ever want to hang out some time, give me a call. Extension 555. No pressure! Nothing major, we can just go play pool, have a beer, play playstation..." At this remark i must have looked shocked. I had never been asked out before, and certainly not by someone like that beautiful girl I first saw so many months ago.
A couple of weeks passed and i still hadn't called her. Meanwhile the flirtations continued with the other girl. I became more comfortable with talking to Lynda. We actually had a few things in common. My former high school had been doing very well this season and i had attended most of the games. Turns out my former school and her daughters school were playing each other one night. Wait a minute!!! Did I just say her daughter?!?!? Yes, as it turns out, she has a 15 year old daughter. The beautiful young lady i believed to be in her mid twenties turned out to be in her late thirties. WHAT!!!! I still don't believe it. I admit that our age difference scared me at first. It is no longer an issue, i mean, really, what's a few years between friends? Even if it is 15. I went to the game that night and looked everywhere for her. Finally, when it was almost over, ther she was looking for me. We talked for what seemed like forever. The game was over and she invited me to eat pizza with her and her daughter of course. Like she said, it was nothing major. Mostly small talk, "What are your interests and aspirations," and what not. Her daughter mostly spent the time with her own friends. I could tell she was a good mother, too. Overall, i enjoyed the evening and our time together. I was still a bit shy, though.
She took me back to my house as i had hitched a ride to the game with my family. There we said goodbye and i told her daughter that it was nice to meet her. A week passed, and it was becoming easier for me to talk to her. In hindsight, she must have really dug me back then. I remember other employees telling me how she never showed her face until i came to dayshift. Coincidentally, we were both going to the same football game again. This time it was a college game. I didn't even expect to see her there, but amazingly she was just about the first person i saw when i arrived! We said our hellos and chatted a bit, but the game would soon start and we had different seats.
The following monday at work, everyone knew something was up. Bob was still pushing for me to choose one of them to take out on a date. Lynda and I kept up the small talk, and i felt increasingly comfortable with her. Finally two weeks later, i dialed 555 and asked her out for a beer. She agreed and we met the following night. I was so excited about the evening. She picked me up and we went to a bar & grill. It was so stormy that night, i'll never forget. We chatted again about our interests and commonalities. It was here i found out she had been recently divorced after a marriage of seventeen years. I felt so bad knowing what she had been through. I felt good (in more than one way) and we soon headed to the car. She started it up and just kind of waited. I looked at her and said, "What?" She looked back and uttered the words i will never forget: "Kiss me." We had a pretty heavy make out session in the parking lot of the bar & grill, but we didn't care. It felt so right. She sent me home that night with the shakes. I didn't want to leave, though. It may have lasted longer had she not needed to rescue her sister from the storm.
At work, she apologized for her behavior. I told her it was not necessary, but she insisted. We continued that for about 3 more weeks. Then we had the discussion. Strangely, her biggest concern was our age difference. This is also where we talked a little about her being a JW. I minored in religious studies, so there wasn't much for her to hide. I almost thought this would be our last evening together. I held her close and she told me that it was the safest she had ever felt.
Okay, at this point the JW seed is planted. I'm thinkin that shes not an active member, and to a certain extent she was not. Apparently the divorce caused a split in her congregation. Her ex spread lies and several of his buddy elders helped him in doing so. Her sister, Gracy, (who, by the way, is not a blood sister but actually her best friend) hated me by this time. I am a worldly man and bad association. I guess Gracy's parents were on Lynda's ex-husband's side. Talk about someone being thrown in the middle! This all must have been very tough for Gracy who also has an eating disorder.
Eventually Gracy grew close to me and no longer hated me and couldn't no matter how hard she tried. This spelled trouble for Gracy's parents. They wer nasty to Lynda, and confronted her several times at the Hall. I witnessed them driving by Lynda's house just to see if i was there with Lynda and if Gracy was there, too! Talk about a witch hunt! We had been dating for 4 months and by this time knew we were in love. There were several times that i would get the look from Lynda that this just wouldn't work out. I think a lot of it was pressure from Gracy's folks. Gracy's father is an elder and her grandfather? You guessed it:
PO!!! Well, enough time had passed and i had stayed the night at Lynda's house several times. Sometimes event with Gracy there, too!!! We hever had sex in her house, though. Now it was time for Lynda to have a "meeting" with the elders. I knew this would be bad. They told her that she must stop seeing me, that she was setting a bad example. Keep the congregation clean and what not. This tore Lynda apart. I thought it was over, but i pushed her to stay with me, everything was going to be okay. Now it was my turn to go to the Hall.
Memorial wednesday rolled around, and i was invited. This is the first time i met Gracy's parents. They gave me evil looks, especially her father as he shook my hand and said, "So you are KG, we have heard so much about you." What a snake. Well, my appearance didn't go over too well with some of the elders. Time for another "meeting" with Lynda. Her "privelages" were taken away and she was given an ultimatum to either leave me of be DF'd. I was so torn. I respect her freedom to choose whatever religion she wants, but i love her so much and cannot let her go. Lynda left for her parents house 6 hours away and didn't talk to me for a day or so while she cleared her thoughts. It was a long weekend, but i respected her enough not to bother her.
Back at the defens company. Well, by now, word is spreading that we are a couple. This is no big deal to any of our employees, but the contract company Lynda works for does not allow their employees to date client employees if they are at the same facility or on the same shift. Time for yet another meeting, this one is legit, though. Her boss asked about our situation, and, of course, Lynda denied any relationship. No big deal, yet. About a week passed before she was temporarily put on leave while her district boss could further investigate the matter. Four days later, her district boss terminated her position all together but didn't give a specific reason. She didn't even know for sure why she lost her job. I chose to support her and her daughter and her sister (Gracy) until she could find a new job. A month and a half later, she was employed again. This time for a better company with benefits and vacation time and better pay. Lynda had none of those at her previous job. I feel it was all a blessing. As a bonus, she doesn't have to worry about getting fired for dating another employee, which, as it turns out, was the official reason given to her new employer.
Everything seems pretty smooth for about 2 weeks. It's all looking up, until i decided to go to a Sunday meeting with Lynda. After the meeting, an elder came to her for a word in private. He claimed to have an e-mail she had sent to Gracy containing pornography. This was completely out of character for Lynda. The witch hunt continues. Lynda was ready to disassociate herself and would not even see the elders when requested. She basically said she was through. Things cooled off for a week and she met with the after all. Only this meeting was not about the porn. It was to decide whether or not to DF Lynda! It really caought her by surprise. Her biggest concern was not letting this happen until after the district convention. She appealed the decision, but it was no good. They DF'd her but did not announce it until the Thursday following the dc. This was good. Lynda was so worried about Gracy and her health. I too was concerned.
Since Lynda has known me, she lost her job, got disfellowshipped, and her daughter has decided to move in with her father. It has been a week since the DF announcement. What a long week it has been. Communication between Lynda and I has improved since last thursday. We are almost normal, but i am still giving her all the space she needs. Check out my other thread to see the rest of this story! http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/116115/1.ashx This will explain what has happend since the announcement.
Comments?