"Oh that I should have to go thru this..."

Hellrider

When my mother was on her deathbed, she mumbled these words: "Oh, that I should have to go thru this...". I was the one sitting there when she said that, half-way into a coma, and she sounded kind of surprised when she said that. She was fanatic in her belief in jw-doctrine (although she was inactive the last few years of her life), and she fully believed that Armageddon was coming "any day now". Basically, she believed that she would never die! When she became ill with cancer, she had been to the doctor once in 25 years. She wasn`t to concerned about health issues or checkups, Jehovah was of course going to make her young and healthy and perfect again in the new system anyway, so why bother. I have always known this about her, the extreme belief that she was never going to have to die, and I knew right away where those mumbling words came from "Oh, that I should have to go thru this" (In norwegian, the phrase is more like "oh that I should even have to experience this") .The point of this? The point is, that to me, this is one more aspect of abuse in the jw-world-view. I assume that dying is very hard. I have seen it first-hand twice, the first time I was 12, and watched my father rot away, also from cancer. It took him 11 months in a hospital to die. It`s not exactly something I am looking forward too, dying, but at least I know that one day, I am going to die too. But what about jws? Jws, at least the jws of my mothers generation (you know, the generation that would never die...), truly believe(d) that they were never going to die. I assume even the young ones believe that too, because Armageddon is "right around the corner". And to me, this is abuse. When they then do get old, sick, dying, I believe it must come like a shock to them, even a stronger shock than to normal people. They were promised (yeah yeah, any jw would object to that statement, but we all know that in reality, it is/was a promise) that they were never going to die. And then, when old age, illness and death comes, I think it comes harder than for all the normal, sane people of the world, who expects this to happen. This may sound like just rambling, but to me, this part of the jw-doctrine is abusive. It broke my heart when I heard my mom mumble those words.

Confession

We've been discussing things like this for the past few days. Although, for me, discovering the truth about the Truth was incredibly freeing, I think I can guarantee that--if all JWs worldwide were to be faced with the certainty that the WTS wasn't what they always thought it was--there would be many, many suicides as a result.

This must especially be so for an elderly JW who has put the organization first in his/her life for 40, 50, 60 years or more. It's like believing that Neptune is a grand paradise, taking 60 years of your life to fly there in a spacecraft, then finding out there's absolutely nothing there.

This shock would be too much for some.

serendipity

(( Hellrider ))

But she got to live with the delusion all those years, whereas other people face their mortality sooner.

troubled mind

Oh I so agree with the statements here ! I was one of those that was taught to believe I might never have to die , as well as my mother . I was not emotionally prepared as an adult to deal with death . Reality has given me a big check in that area over the past few years as I watch old and young ones I know die . I feel like a very cruel joke has been played on me , but I'm thankful I see the facts now . Don't waste a single day , life is way to short . No matter how depressed you may feel..... tomorrow has the possibility of being better . I sat with my 92 year old grandfather, who loved his life ,as death approached he kept saying "this isn't fair , it's just not right ". Meaning his mind and spirit was still wanting life, but his body gave up on him . This made an impact on me to appreciate every day above ground is a good day.

freedomlover

it was probably so sad to have to see your mom so disillusioned.

death has the opportunity to be an experience that can be dignified and honorable. it is so sad to see someone so "shocked" that they have to experience this very normal part of life - death.

I worry about my aged grandma. I feel she is going to experience this same situation. It will break my heart if I have to witness her disillusionment also.

Confession

I feel like a very cruel joke has been played on me

Reminds me of a poem I posted here once before...

You may go to five meetings a week

And knock on door after door

You may fancy yourself very meek

And righteous right down to the core

Your mind you may work hard to train

While you reach for the utmost in piety

You may feel you have much to gain

From some men at the Watchtower Society

You may study your lesson each day

And mix with only the friends

You may pour out your heart when you pray

To be on earth when life never ends

You may wonder why some go to college

To you it seems full of anxiety

‘Cause the only approved sort of knowledge

Comes from men at the Watchtower Society

Then you find at the close of your life

That the end never came as they said

Your children, you and your wife

Down a fine garden path have been led

All your life you’ve been sold quite a load

And you find with the greatest sobriety

That your brain had been fully bestowed

To those men at the Watchtower Society

Confession

troubled mind

Exactly

geevee

We had a sister, who lived her whole life for "the truth" and pioneered, didn't get married or have children, in fact i'd sya she was still a virgin when she died at about 55 years of age.
She got the cancer and it took her out. Funny thing was that she got REAL angry. Wouldn't see anyone except her brother who had given up the dubs years ago.
Do you think she saw the absolute futility of her life? A life wasted? Promises unkept?
She could have married and had a family, there were plenty of offers when she was younger.
Yep a real waste. We understand how she felt.....totally.

parakeet

My elderly JW parents' health is beginning to fail, and the realization that they will not survive to see the "new order" after all the promises made to them over the years has hit them very hard. My mom especially is very depressed and fearful about what is ahead for her -- she has developed cancer and heart trouble within the past 2 years and is having a terrible time coping with her disabilities at a time she had always hoped would be a rebirth into Jehovah's "new order."
I don't know if these events has affected her faith (we don't talk about JW doctrine), but her emotional state is very low. It is a terrible thing to see an elderly person's illusions knocked out from under them at such an extreme age--there is no buffer between them and the realities of old age and death. My heart often breaks for them.

LDH

Jws, at least the jws of my mothers generation (you know, the generation that would never die...), truly believe(d) that they were never going to die.

There is value in not being deluded about the future.

I was just talking about this subject with someone, I can't remember who.

Baby Boomer JWs, are you ready for Medicare? And AARP? And Social Security? And hearing aids? Now is the time to take out that $5,000 burial policy you never thought you needed. What does it take for you to realize you ARE OLD. You were promised that you would never grow old.

Lisa

The jokes on you! Class

"Oh that I should have to go thru this..."

Share this