grief & jw's?

by carla 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • diamondblue1974

    This is a brilliant subject to be honest because it invokes some debate.

    I dont think true JWs really do grieve properly; there is no sense of finality because they hold fast to this supposed promise of eutopian paradise when they will see their loved ones again and that it wont be long either. I know a friend who lost his wife some years ago whilst a witness and upon his leaving the witnesses, he described what could only be grief for the loss of his wife some 15 years earlier. It was as though the grief had been supressed deep down inside until his day of realisation.

    In my view the WTS attempts to control peoples minds so much that the end result is a person whose true feelings are repressed and buried deep down.

    In other areas they try to discourage emotion especially when it comes to family members and loved ones; the old 'heart is treacherous' baloney they spout teaches their members to reject their brains emotive signals and bury them deep.

    Is ignoring your brain healthy!? Apparently so for JWs!


  • lilybird
    In my view the WTS attempts to control peoples minds so much that the end result is a person whose true feelings are repressed and buried deep down

    That is so true diamondblue.
    So many heartbreaking stories on this thread. I know for LyingEyes ,Emma and evita, the grief of losing your mother at a young age or any age is difficult to deal with.And so sorry Lyingeyes to hear about the death of your sister such a short time ago. As witnesses we are not allowed to really feel the sorrow--- at least not to others in the congregation.
    The greatest sorrow of all is to lose a child as we always feel we will go before them.. Words cannot express the grief you must feel to lose a child. Roski and Balsam,,you are courageous women to carry on after losing your sons,,I'm sorry you don't have the support of your parents, Roski..The org makes people so uncaring and cold.Not because Jws are that way naturally, but as the quote above states,they are brainwashed and controlled to feel that way.. We can only feel pity for those still in the organization who can't see the forest for the trees..

  • Emma
    The org makes people so uncaring and cold.

    This is absolutely true, Lily. "No natural affection" is a description of them exactly. Some of them are better at than others.

    In our family of the "overly zealous," mourning was a sign of lack of faith in the resurrection. I remember when my sisters mother in law died they basically told her to get over it, trust in hova, and get on with life. The poor woman; she'd been married for over fifty years and they had farmed together. Cold hearted, no other words. She tried to hide her grief but my sister found her diary, took it to her husband the elder who read how grief-stricken she was and straightened her out.

    I was thinking about how my mother had to go against her nature to remain in the org. One of my oldest friends, also an ex-jw, described my mom during our childhood as free-spirited. She was the mom who would drop everything on a hot day, hook up the sprinkler and have the kids over to play and eat popcicles. The thing that drew her to the org and kept her there was the fear of death. I wonder if she was able to make peace with the fact that she wouldn't walk into that magical new system. It breaks my heart to think of her facing what she'd been running from, promised she'd never have to experience.

  • Lord-Quad

    Grieving is obsolete to an active JW! WTS has their heads filled with, don't look back, they'll be resurrected! Interesting since they tell the members their unrepentant disfellowshipped loved ones will not have a chance in God's Kingdom! Do they grieve over this? Yes, but they do not grieve as "normal" humans do when a loved one has passed on! Thats my two sense worth, and yes, this is a very interesting topic!

    I am glad you posted this topic!

    ~ David

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