Update on my friend - the PO called

by fullofdoubtnow 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    To be fair, it sounds like the PO is only "doing his job", some one has stopped attending meetings and he is checking in to see what's going on. I think we have heard of a lot of cases where people stop showing up and no one ever called or checked on them. It sounds like he was at least trying to be tactful about it.

    But yes at some point they will likely try to talk yo your friend face to face, and if they find out the real reason she stopped attending, then yes there could be trouble.

    No Apologies

  • buffalosrfree

    Your friend is doing the right thing, she should put them off for as long as possible, then, like was suggested, attend a couple of meetings, and begin again the slow fade. When again asked by the nosy PO, tell him its private and really none of his or anyone else's business, its PRIVATE. If he persists tell him in no uncertain terms its private and between her and Jehovah.

    The elders can be a nosy bunch, but like all things time will slow them down, and they will eventually put it on a back burner and let it stew as long as it doesn't become a problem, well hopefully for you anyway.

    Good luck in you endeavor. buffalo

  • Perry

    An elder came in my shop a while back and started asking me "what happened" questions. I said nothing I just quit. He said I know you went through a lot with that divorce. I said, "no that's not it, I'm over that. I just quit" .

    He said, "I know how it is when someone has deeply offended you." I said, "no one has offended me, I just simply made a decision to stop attending meetings". Amazingly, he said, " I know how much pain you must be in". As I showed him to the door I said, "I appreciate your concern, but I don't feel like I'm in pain right now. Thanks for stopping by".

    I promised to send him a contact in Asia that might help his small business and said goodbye. He was happy about that and said good bye back.

    Your friend will have to keep repeating her position, like she already has done. They will eventually tire and give up if she doens't give in to their traps.


    If this PO falls into the rare "actually cares" category of elder he really may just want to see how she is doing. If he is a company man obsessed with his posotion and prominence then I think he is suspicious and wants to determine what "issues" she is referring to. Rest assured that he has at least called her bookstudy overseer and/or the Congregation Service Committee to get input on how to proceed.

    Good for her for not lying and saying she hasnt been feeling well, an excuse I often use lately to stay home from meetings. Tell her to stick to her guns and give them no reason to pry any further unless she is ready to DA since there has to be at least 1 elder on that body who enjoys sniffing out doubters and "apostates"

  • willyloman

    Marion sounds as if she'll be just fine. She's got courage and she's acting on her conscience.

    There is really no telling what will happen next, but the longer she sidesteps this elder and others who are now making her their temporary cause, the easier it will be to fade.

    The secret, having been thru this myself, is to avoid them long enough that they pigeon-hole you and move on. Dubs all suffer from cognitive dissonance. They can't grasp that someone could simply put on their thinking cap and conclude that this is all b.s. (way to go, Perry, by the way).

    Confronted with that scenario, they categorize you as weak which justifies ignoring you and in fact demands that they avoid you for fear of possible spiritual contamination! This is the stage you seek to reach when fading. After that, you're increasingly left alone.

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