I cannot beleive i am an " apostate"

sspo

My hell is just beginning, 26 years of marriage, almost divorced last year until we finally decided to get back and give it another try this year.

Now i'll have to meet with the elders and tell them about my spirituality and doubts about the WTS, 1914, 1995 generation change,Malawy/Mexico,and on and on and my wife will be there.

I do feel sorry for my wife because she has already lost 13 members of her family, "apostasy" and some just left the truth and even though some are not disfellowshipped she won't talk to them, now her husband, is going thru the same thing, she cannot accept it because out of 31 y. in the truth i was an elder and how could that happen.

Do i lie to the elders in order to keep my wife and fake it,how long can i last? But i well know she cannot love an " apostate" and live with one.

There you go another family down the drain because of 1 cor. 5:10,11

I love my wife but she will leave because she has to stay faithful to Jah's earthly organization.

How in the world could i have beleived it for 31 years and enforced it and went after those that saw the light about the organization before i did. I do apoligize but we have been all victims.

Any wisdom from anyone who has been thru the same thing with wife.( fortunately kids are grown and out of the house)

Thanks

SPAZnik

Who says you "have to" meet with the elders?

AuldSoul

I would say you are an apostate in their eyes, but how do you view yourself? Are you going to allow their viewpoints to determine your actions, or are you going to face the reality that they have been doing that job for you long enough?

Just asking as food for thought. I am really not trying to take their place in deciding for you, just tossing out another way to view it. There are hundreds of ways to view it, I just recommend you pick the one you want and go with it.

Welcome.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

Sparkplug

Welcome, and hope you get to stay around a bit. You don't have to meet with them you know? That is just it. You don't have to at all. they really are not your boss. And as far as a husband, well I think the women are admonished to stay with the non believer, as long as he does not cheat. Just be undeerstanding that this will be hard for her and do the preach by example thing but backwards. Be a wonderful husband and be normal. Live and perhaps by slowly watching and learning of peoples stories you may find something that will help you.

But as far as I know she should still be of the mindset that she has to stay with you as long as you are not persecuting her. Or being abusive and no cheating! That is all.

Just don't meet with them. They are not your marriage and never should have been.

greendawn

Welcome sspo, many people on the forum have gone through what you have described. Many marriages had to end because of the WTS though doctrinal disagreements are not scriptural grounds for divorce.

I am sorry that you have to go through this after 31 years of marriage because of a cult.

Quandry

I am also new here, and would never have dreamed that my husband and I would find ourselves in the same situation as you are. He was an elder for many years. How do you go back when you know what you know? What a feeling when you come to grips with the real situation!! He is so depressed to think that he spent so so so much time trying to do everything right, discouraging me from getting advanced education, he gave up a good paying job when we came in, and now we are in our fifties and are having real trouble making ends meet. Not to mention that we had barely any relationship with our "worldly" family.

My best advice to you is take your time to think things out. Take your wife on a vacation before you do anything. Find some common ground other that the Society. Really talk-about other things that matter. Don't give her too much info at once. It is so devastating to find out about the U.N.and all the other "secrets" that we are now privy to, but you probably had to think about things for awhile before it all sunk in, and so give your wife the same time. This will be hard for her-it's as if her security and future are now in doubt, and that is hard for a woman.

At any rate, welcome to the forum. Expressing myself here and finding out that there are others like me has really helped.

Fleur

I welcome you...and I echo the above remarks...you don't have to meet with anyone.

I recommend that you read as many posts here as you can, maybe start in the best of experiences section...and keep talking.

What amazes me is how many new posters we've had in the past couple of months...it really makes me wonder if ANYONE sitting in the Kingdom halls actually believes anymore???

hugs

essie

Cellist

Welcome to the board. I agree with everyone's comments. You DON'T have to meet with the elders. If you feel you have to, just remember, you don't have to tell them anything. Tell them you're depressed, tell them you're sick or whatever you think will work for you. They have no right to command you to tell them what you're thinking or feeling. That's your business.

Like others have said, concentrate on being a decent human being.

Cellist

DannyHaszard

Welcome mate! To quote the Japanese emperor upon surrender to the allies,"we must now endure the unendurable"Yes,the anguish and the agony,the sudden impact horror of having to renounce the life-long convictions of our hearts,it is devastating. Remember there is (a good) life after the Watchtower Serenity melody; http://dannyhaszard.com/media/last.mp3 ''..if this was the last of all days''...

Sirona

Welcome to the forum.

If there is one thing I've learned....and I haven't actually really learned it yet.... is that we will survive through the most difficult transitions in our lives, and when we finally come out of the difficult situation, we are better, happier and stronger.

Keep posting,

Sirona

I cannot beleive i am an " apostate"

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