This is not about you!

Sparkplug

I just had to say this as I embark upon letting you all share some of the thoughts that keep me amused.

I add to them a disclaimer. These thoughts are not related to anyone in particular on this board. these are only thoughts and with my huge case of A.D.D, I will forget them tomorrow, so I may as well spit them out tonight while I still find them funny!

Here they are: (please feel free to use your best sarcastic voice while reading this, for it is meant only in fun)

I had this feeling of non importance growing up, that one can so easily pick up while being a JW. The feeling that you are not "as good". Then you feel guilty because that is not a positive thing to feel. Then you feel even worse because feeling guilty is something that is not positive. Basically I think as a JW you are not allowed to hurt in hurtful situations or usually be right about anything.

That may bloody well be why now that we are out, it appears we all think we are right about most everything. Sometimes I think we fight not just for the sake of getting top spot, but for the sake of the fight. The ability to actually disagree is a great thing indeed. Even while fighting we will call it a debate and pull out all of the psychological stops on each other.

We use the games that were used on us and for the most part we do it unknowingly. Each one proud of the logic and parity shown in the decision making process. It just FEELS so DAMN Good TO HAVE a VOICE!

Then we step away and brood all the while we are convincing ourselves that we are not concerned and that this debate really is trivial, after all it is JUST a discussion board. We come back with the best way to step out of a fight and look extremely wise and perhaps even a bit gregarious for letting the other person keep their dignity.

We then hug in parenthesis (((XOXOX)))) and plot our next form of argument. Because it is all good, and if we have let someone else save face as we see it, it has just perhaps convinced us of our higher level of altruistic traits. We are indeed are modest enough to take some egg on our face so that the other person can save theirs.

After all we have confidence and they don't. We had to leave them with some dignity. Did we not? Besides maybe at the next apostate’s festival we can sneak off and have some make up sex. Or even not have sex and pretend we did because that would be so “Worldly!” We all know that is a good thing!

Come on now...hit me with your best shots. I will rise in the AM ready to battle..........................I'll BE BAAACCKK

Sparkplug

Oh crap. I picked a heck of a time to get off the wall with this one. Some of our biggest tusslers are going at it using some of the same information I write of, but with better words.

I swear, I did not know, or I would not have stuck my pen in my own neck...

After yesterday, I refuse to take my post down. Don't ask, for you can beg and plead, but it is here to stay.

uuuh...if Simon will allow!

AuldSoul

While I KNOW it isn't about me...just from the subject line...I identify so much with what you wrote I just have to make this post about me. Not your post, just mine. I undertand full well your post IS NOT ABOUT [ME]!

I used to know the rules so well. I knew where the lines were. The Governing Body had a whole slew of them, one for nearly every occasion. And if there wasn't a rule, there was an ageless, timeless principle that we just learned all about for the first time in that Watchtower last year.

But they weren't my lines. Now I have to find a way to draw them for myself. And at the same time I am trying to learn how to do that, it FEELS so DAMN Good TO HAVE a VOICE! Finally, to have a voice. It isn't the same as talking as a JW, it isn't the same as asking question as a JW, I can SAY what I think is right and DEFEND what I think is right. And I can be proved wrong. And I can be proved right. Or I could not care whether I am right or wrong.

I can finally be as unreasonable and stubborn as I damned well please. It dawned on me just this evening that "You're being unreasonable" no longer carries any weight when it slaps me across the face. And I am thinking maybe it should, a bit at least. There is a line, I somehow know that, but I am having some trouble distinguishing exactly where it is. I seem to have misplaced it. And I don't particularly care, nor do I have to care. That is SUCH a weird feeling. The lines are where I draw them today, right now, this minute, within the bounds of the law of the land and Simon's laws.

I might have confidence, but I don't think so. I've got certainty in spades, but I'm wrong a lot, too. It is entirely okay to be certain and wrong, as long as when you are proven wrong you are now certain about your newly found (freshly sledgehammered into place) viewpoint...isn't that entirely okay? I sure hope so. For the first time in my life I feel unfettered in my conversations. I don't have to be nice, but I usually am. And it isn't because I am worried what the elder's wives will think if I'm not nice. It is because it's who I am.

This is all new to me, and I have to thank you lot who don't mind letting me save face as I muddle through changing how I think about things. I'm really not stupid. Just ignorant.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

Sparkplug

ooh even worse, I typed the title in all caps just about the time someone commented on that same thing. Ever had a night like this? I really should have gone straight to bed.

Anyone want to fight and make ~~out?~~ er, I meant up. Yeah that is it...Lets make up!

Sparkplug

And you, my sweet Auld Soul, seemed to have gotten the point.

It feels DAMN good and Yet it is so right and wrong and confusing and educational and intaspective all at once!

You gotta luv it!

Did we just fight, or make up? I am confused but in such an educated way!

hehe Does anyone want to fight about the validity of the word " intaspective "? If so, prove to me that even if it is not a word it did not bring the point I meant to make across....I dare ya? If you are right I will never tell you.

AlmostAtheist

>>Sometimes I think we fight not just for the sake of getting top spot, but for the sake of the fight. The ability to actually disagree is a great thing indeed. Even while fighting we will call it a debate and pull out all of the psychological stops on each other.

This is wrong. Oh, it's ON, Baby!

Seriously, being able to discuss a topic to it's LOGICAL end, instead of somebody getting off their lazy butt (since they're not allowed to say "ass") and getting out the Index to find the "right" answer is a true gift of life. We treasure it, no doubt.

Good post! (But I'll still fight you on it!)

Dave

ringo5

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm a schizophrenic,
And so am I.

Sparkplug

Seriously, being able to discuss a topic to it's LOGICAL end, instead of somebody getting off their lazy butt (since they're not allowed to say "ass") and getting out the Index to find the "right" answer is a true gift of life. We treasure it, no doubt.

So if I read you correctly the rulebook states that only when the opponent is lying on the floor with his pride bit between his teeth like a mouthguard...then....and only then are we allowed to shove the whole encyclopedia up his a$$?

Did I get your point? And if so, Can you prove to me your rulebook is valid? So what if Doctor Strangelove wrote it? Was he sane? Was he crazy? Did he worship pyramids, did he know what he was talking about? Did he do test and if he did test his theories, were they sound forms of testing? Did each test tube come from a separate but equal country. Was each tube filled with the correct amount of Christ blood so that the freaking test was santified by the pope himself? And what makes the Pope wear a hat? I have a hat. Is not my hat just as good if not better for it serves the purpose of a hat and has a better cut? Did underpriveledged children work in factories under horrid conditions to make the pope a hat?

So what if you don't understand my line of reasoning....It is your fault if you fail to see my reasoning. Oh, so now it is my fault. I am the one projecting motives to others. You know what? This may be a bit above your head. Come back and fight when you have more education and don't you snivel either, this is after all only a discussion! You are taking it personal. You don't see me insulting you. It is your perception that is askew! Perhaps your rough childhood made you unable to handle a normal conversation.

Dave, I hear the bell ding...

Round 2?

AuldSoul

Did we just fight, or make up?

Only thing I'm sure of is we didn't make out. As I recall, you tend to blush and run for the horizon when the subject is even broached...

...an' yep, I knewed them's fightin' wurds. Whatchya gone do 'bout it?

AND HERE'S MY PROOF: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/15/108049/1879621/post.ashx#1879621

CHOKE ON IT!

(can't forget the annoying psychological impact of creative highlighting and liberal red texting)

Sparkplug

blush and run for the horizon when the subject is even broached...

Ah sure you have quite the memory! Rub it in and gloat.. Maybe you should be more sensitive to the people here who are experiencing A.D.D. and PTSD. Loosing ones memory capabilities is nothing to poke fun at. Lets form a union for the sensitivity of A.D.D. and PTSD survivors. We we could sloaganize it like this!

"Once I had a tramatic childhood, but I forgot about it!"

AND why do you have to call me out like that? Maybe I am sensitive about my sexuality. Maybe I am a virgin. It is true. I read it in Greek mythology. If you bathed in this river and obstained from sex for 7 years you would return to your virginal state. If you don't believe my sources, just ask anyone here..... we all know this. How could you not know? Did you not get the memo? We all got it! Where is yours?

I am not bad, I am just drawn that way.

(Jessica Rabbit said that if you want references! )

This is not about you!

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