by KW13 18 Replies latest jw friends
The witnesses we know are obviously brainwashed, but do you think WE ever recover from what it did completely? Does every part of jw'ness leave us?
I have a feeling that even if its not obvious, things from our personal insecurities to how we act and WHO WE ARE is a result of the Org, yes even if your the rebellious type cos then your just running away
What do you lot think?
I have wondered this KW. I am not that long out of the org, and still have some issues regarding my so called bible trained conscience to deal with, little guilt feelings about some of the things I do now that I wouldn't have done as a jw. My boyfriend is also an ex jw, but he's had almost 7 years away from the org, and you wouldn't know he'd ever been a witness unless he told you. We live together, and have no concrete plans to marry as yet, and that makes me feel a little guilty at times, but it doesn't worry him at all. He does, however, use the odd word that he didn't use before he was a jw, so it's not all gone, and maybe it never will. As for me, though I know for certain it's not the truth, I still have quite a bit of jw ness in me, although its fading.
I guess spending so long in a cult, 25 years in my case, is bound to leave marks that take a long time to fade, maybe even a lifetime.
I guess spending so long in a cult, 25 years in my case, is bound to leave marks that take a long time to fade, maybe even a lifetime.
i think so, a long time at least! it was your whole life
It depends on the person. I have some friends who left the Organization a few years ago and they have no feelings of guilt over celebrating birthday, or Christmases, etc. I, on the other hand, still do. For example, I was invited to attend a church with one of my co-workers. We've talked about it for a while so I finally told him I would go (it's Reformed Presbyterian). So I went last Sunday. I enjoyed the service very much as there was substance to the talk, not all ritualistic stuff which I have no interest in. However, on the way home, I got an attack of the guilty complex because of course, I was taught my entire life that all other churches are run directly by Satan and will be destroyed by God.
Can't figure out why that'd screw me up eh?
Honestly I don't think I will live long enough to overcome every single wrong thing JW-related that was installed in me when I was a child because they are all hidden in the subcontious and have their own time-table to pop up. Only after the discovery of such a flaw you can work on them and finally get rid of them by exchanging them with something better. That's why people who have already left decades ago come by, too, and post here. They have come to recognise their recovery simply isn't complete yet. But I will never give up because of the many little successes along the way and how they enriched and improved my life. In fact over the past years I have changed from being downright miserable to being quite happy. Good reason to move on...
I think for those of us who chose to become JWs it might be a bit easier to break free from the conditioning. Not sure though. I know lots of raised-ins who never really believed like I did. Eh, who knows. I do know that in my case the JW guilt, thinking, word usage, etc...has faded drastically with time (5 years from the last meeting, 1 year from finding out it was all a load of bunk). There are a few things that I'm still stuck on...but that may be because they were not just JW issues for me.
Odd how guilt seems to be one of the main things or an attack of conscience.
DHL - i understand what ya mean, i dont think i'll ever get over it 100%
Mary - the guilt thing will go
Luna - a lot of those raised in seem to want to run away and seem to be the ones that get disfellowshipped. Similar to you, i've been out since late 2003 and only after coming on this forum in January did i find any real reasons to backup me staying out, otherwise i dunno what would of happened.
Kw...I just saw what you posted to Luna -
man...I was in the same boat. I hadn't been to a meeting in almost 2 years but the guilt of NOT going was killing me and I was seriously thinking about going back. I was looking for a way to get at least the mags in the mail online when I found this place. Who knows where I'd be of I hadn't !
I don't know if the things they taught will ever get out of my head. I was in about 10 years. I don't know what I exactly believe now..every once in a while I still think maybe it would be better if I was still in. At least there would be an excuse for the problems in the world, eh? Then I slap myself upside the head and say - I gotta get a grip -. It's tough.
I'd like to know what people say who've been out for a long time.
Kw...I just saw what you posted to Luna -man...I was in the same boat. I hadn't been to a meeting in almost 2 years but the guilt of NOT going was killing me and I was seriously thinking about going back. I was looking for a way to get at least the mags in the mail online when I found this place. Who knows where I'd be of I hadn't !
I don't know if the things they taught will ever get out of my head. I was in about 10 years. I don't know what I exactly believe now..every once in a while I still think maybe it would be better if I was still in. At least there would be an excuse for the problems in the world, eh? Then I slap myself upside the head and say ; - I gotta get a grip -. It's tough.
I'd like to know what people say who've been out for a long time.
Hey
It was good ya found this place eh? I was in from 1996 to 2003 and in the last few years i was taking it seriously, i took for granted before that my mum knew what she was doing, then i wanted to make the truth my own.
I understand you thinking sometimes it would be easier to be in, it is actually easy to be lead and told what to do in many respects but i know you'd miss your new freedom too much
Well I think that there will always be something deep inside of you that will stay from the brainwashing of the WT, Sure we do forget some and it takes time, but there is always this little verse or habit, or whatever that we will carry on till death.
