How many of you had panic attacks when you were a JW and when leaving? I know of many JW women and a few men who suffered badly with panic attacks. Since recently having another spate of panic attacks I suddenly realised that I had been having them all my life. Perhaps in times of tension I will always have them for a while. There had always been a sick feeling of apprehension in my stomach all through my childhood and until recently that something cataclysmic was about to happen to me, the world, every where....just blind terror. When I first left the JWs the attacks were out of control for a year or so as I had to confront my fears up front. Recently, they have re emerged due to a few problems and probably through studying ancient and pre history far too much that it has my neurons zinging!!! (Not healthy for me) But I finally realised that I have probably never relaxed properly until leaving JW land. Just as an example, my daughter went on a school trip. I filled out the form allowing any treatment should an emergency arise, including blood transfusion and I actually did not spend the day in a state of fear and apprehension. I felt confident that she would be all right and should any thing happen she would be given full medical back up and every chance to survive....I didn't worry. When still a JW I would spend a day in total turmoil, constantly praying that nothing would happen to my children. So, were you always afraid when you were a JW? Did you find panicing got worst went you decided to 'step out and away' from the JWs? How do you cope with your fear now? After all, fear is what holds people in the JWs and you can only leave if you face your fears!
Panic attacks and Jehovahs Witness!
I had some anxiety when I left thinking that Armageddon would come and I would die. Being raised from infancy that you will never die really messes with your head. When we learn that is a lie and we will someday die -- the panic can be overwhelming. I think the panic/anxiety come from the brainwashing and mind control that we were under. It does fade in time. Or perhaps I am just in denial.
I never had a panic attack.
I had this sad realisation, but there was nothing I could do about it.
When I left i still believed it was the truth, but I just wasnt able to do it anymore. the first time i had sex not with my (seperated from) husband, I thought, well... thats the end... im going to die at armageddon. Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.
After that first time I thought im dying now anyway, might as well carry on shagging.
I used to have to really bad panic attacks , the kind where you can't breathe. I also had one where I could not stop pacing, up and down the halls. I would get one every time I went to the hall. I used to get one evey time I drove over to the side of town where the KH is. Now I'm bettter. I still can't drive by the hall without feeling ill. The last memorial I attended I felt ill and knew that was it, that was my last one.
lol, i had one sister tell me that if i felt like that coming to the KH it may mean that Jehovah's Spirit was not there. YOU THINK?
I do have them from time to time. Once in awhile, when I start thinking about the future that is when I'll have one. But fortunately not every time I ponder over my future. Thank God!
For me the attacks are pretty mild. I can always talk myself out of them and make myself busy until I feel better.
In my case I found that the more I educate myself the less fearful I am of the future. As all of you already know, our knowledge as a witness is so limited.
I didn't have panic attacks, but my heartbeat was about 65 to 75 at home, and at the meetings, when I had to comment or read, my pulse would go up to 110 easily. It got me nervous to have to read and comment in front of a group.
Knowing that I had a talk even a few weeks ahead of time made me feel uncomfortable all that time.
Now, I'm so relaxed.
I think the Watch Tower Society's agenda of creating a chronic state of anxiety in their followers provides an environment to maintain that anxiety to detriment and death. If a person doesn't suffer from anxiety when they start out as Jehovah's Witnesses they soon will. Being a Witnesses is to be anxious. That's the goal. That's the motivation to get the workers to work for the Society.
They subscribe to the mass produced propaganda and follow the prescribed treatment of meetings and warning the public of impending doom and they suffer from anxiety disorders. The anxiety disorders are only lowered to expose depression. The depression is lowered only to expose rage. It's often the rage that has been running things all along. It raises it's head, that rage, behind closed doors as children of Witnesses can report.
The Society TRIES to "instill a state of urgency". A state of urgency is a small step away from a state of panic. The Society uses a form of mass education to create the state of "urgency". With some Witness people the education is not strong enough and the feeling of "urgency" is not maintained. With others the education is too strong and the feeling of urgency is passed right by and they go to anxiety and then into a full blown anxiety disorder.
I've seen many Witness people seek medical treatment for all sorts of aches and pains and headaches, when what they really have is an untreated mental illness. The mental illness is not recognized as a problem in the group because it's the desired effect. The well people are seen as the problem, as lacking faith.
The constant repetition of Witness literature and speech tells the Witness's mind that all is not okay. The human mind wants to know all is okay . . . or if all is not okay, that there is an achievable solution. The Witnesses say all is not okay and you may not merit the solution. There's no resolution.
Then the Witnesses put the elders between me and the solution, and I don't like the elders and I really don't like the other Witnesses, and thus . . . there's no solution for me that I can access. This is all done by the Witnesses on purpose to retain members, generate cash donations, receive free construction labor, and to increase literature sales.
Mentally healthy, relaxed people are not productive members for a corporation that sells impending doom as it's only product.
Since I've stopped attending the KH I really don't have panic attacks anymore.
I was always a nervous child (had some pretty tramuatic things happen as a young child). I had a peptic ulcer by the time I was 7 years old. I'd get an attack of nerves having to go door to door, answer or give a talk.
I suffered panic attacks when I had become "inactive" and we'd attempt to go to the KH. I'd get ready to go but just couldn't get out of the house. I couldn't walk into the KH anymore.
My mother suffers from panic attacks quite often. They are pretty severe at times. She's still regularly attending the KH.
I had lots of anxiety and panic attacks as a kid along with severe migraines atarting at age 4-5. They got really bad when I left for about 2 years but then stopped finally.
I had panic attacks in my teen years, but depression started very young, maybe 8-9yrs. My eating disorder started about then also.
At the age of 15 I started having a nervous problem whenever I had to be in front of people (like talks or circuit ass parts). The first time it happened was at my sisters wedding and I was the bridesmaid. I almost didn't make it down the isle. Once I got to the front of the hall I could barely stand due to shaking and hyperventalating. Since that moment I stuggled with violent shaking whenever I had to be in front of a group of people.
After being disfellowshipped I started drinking heavily and smoking pot and all the nervousness went away. But when I was reinstated and basically forced to give talks at the hall again, it started coming back!! Go figure!!
All is good again, although I have declined invitations to speak in schools about eating disorders because I'm not so sure I would make out ok in front of an audience.