I think I have to side with IW, there are many good people who are elders and are honorable people. The scriptures have said that those who preside in a fine way should be reckoned worthy of double honor. I think many mean well but are indoctrinated with Society viewpoints that are a bit extreme in nature. I think the fault lies more with the societies interpretation of the bible than with these men. I was disfellowshipped without a written or scriptural charge, because of my stand against the org regarding the NGO Partnership thing. the whole body of elders was aware of the situation. Didn't matter. I have dozens of friends that were elders, and not ONE has contacted me ONE time to either find out what happened or to offer condolences.
They couldn't call you uninformed because they are instructed not to call disfellowshipped ones and you know that. The problem lies again with the societies interpretation of how to treat disfellowshipped ones. You accused them of worshipping the society and I think that is incorrect. They are instructed to trust the society even if that goes against their better judgment or common sense, and many do just that. Plus they feel that this is what Jehovah wants them to do so they are obedient to a fault (even overlooking real mistakes and unnecessary hardships pushed on the brothers)
.I have also run into immature and weak men who were appointed elders and it is very difficult to remove them. Many elders have confided in me that certain appointments were mistakes. Some brothers reached out for the office, put on their best behavior when in the hall and also became chummy chummy with some of the elders and were wrongly appointed. Also their were case of nepotism and so on. That happens everywhere, in the business world, other churches, even in families with children.... people are people.
The society isn't always upfront or honest about what they do (UN NGO fiasco for example) but what can you do. Sometimes it is better to step away for a while.