Oh my gawd, GGBG! <----- I like that acronym! You're pretty damned brave. I don't think I could have lived through that! Isn't it funny how much "shame" plays a role in our lives, and how we are trained to believe the same things about ourselves that others think about us, even though it is probably not true?
When I tell people of how strict it was in the religion, they don't understand why I just didn't REBEL and strike back. I couldn't. I was raised in the mindset, and you just didn't do that. If guys do that sort of thing, it's taken as less serious, and it must be the GIRL that caused them to do that. It's always about women minding their P's and Q's.. but not the guy! My Mother scared every last bit of trust I had outta me in high school, so I wasn't really worried about being caught in some situation like that because I was sure God would strike me down as soon as I did something that was normal. I did have a high school boyfriend that wasn't a Witness, but we were limited to holding hands at school, and some bowling classes we had together, and she even one time let me go to a dance with him... but mostly, I was ashamed and upset because we kissed!
I have to admit that most of the teenaged JW's considered me on the "fringe" so they were not really surprised about me having a HS boyfriend, but they still hung out with me because I was still a Witness. Most of them married two months out of HS and married "corporate" JW's. They are all still married and in "the truth (lie)" and barely talk to me, even though we were great friends in high school. They find out that I am not in the religion anymore, and "encourage" me to go "back to Jehovah." It's so stupid, to me, because THEY are the ones that are living the lie, and I'm the one that is free.
So... while I felt that the JW's were the truth for a majority of my life, and I couldn't live up to their ideals, it doesn't bother me because now I know they are now living THE LIE, and if sometime in their lives they get a dose of cognitive dissonance, then I'll be here to share with them.