Live shunning incident #2

sass_my_frass

Today, on a lunch date with my beloved, a young JW couple I vaguely knew walked in and were seated right next to us, just as he saw me so there was no going back.

Now there are a few schools of thought re what to do when being shunned; get their attention and chat politely; keep it going for a while until they feel awkward; shun them back... I haven't picked an angle yet.

Anyway I saw him in time to pretend that I'd not noticed that it was them, and was just ignoring the strangers sitting next to us in the busy cafe. We had our lunch with Mr Frass (who'd never met them) unaware that I was avoiding looking in their direction, and them making lame chat to cover their awkwardness. I wanted to make contact when we were leaving, just to leave them with a good anti-witness, but I couldn't think of talk small enough to keep the scene civil. I can now, dammit. "Hey hi Jason, how are you going? This is my darling hubby... hey hon this is Jason, they're witnesses! ... So, still in that gorgeous apartment in docklands? Going to the snow this year? No I'm not a witness anymore. Yeah... well got to go. Oh, you should look up in an encyclopedia re when Jerusalem was destroyed - it wasn't in 607. That really surprised me, that we were lied to about that. Ciao ciao..."

If only my heart could keep up with my mind, because all I could think of during dinner was 'loveless freaks, what do I do?'. I've got to practise or something, because one day I'm going to run into a JW friend who has also left, and I won't find out because I'm too scared to make contact. Or one of these days they're going to be people who only need the tiniest nudge and hint that life outside the bubble is brilliant.

Ah well, I suppose it's not my responsibility to make their choice to shun people easier to handle. I guess I'm glad I had the dignity not to make a scene, and that it didn't bother me as much as I've always been afraid it would. I've been very angry lately but I didn't take it out on them.

Crumpet

Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie! We all have these after-the-event witty repertoires in our heads. Practising isn;t a bad thing though since you do seem to come into contact with JWs quite regularly. Perhaps don't aim so high - just saying "hello" and msiling is enough to start with and then if they do shun you - you can turn to your friend/hubby - or whoever happens to be with you and comment humourously - "Its crazy isn't it ? And these are the people who are hoping Jesus is going to know them for the extent of their love? Ironic huh?" Then move on laughing - and think - how annoying that will be for them because they aren;t allowed to say anything back.

Then my dearest Sass - they will be the ones going off having those conversations in their head, with the words trapped in because they can never say them to you! And you will walk away feeling jubilant and be able to recall the scene only with smiles and not kicking yourself.

hugs

crumpet x

greendawn

I personally ignore them for a long time now and have no emotional connection to them, they are misguided fools who think that they are the only true religion, whereas by way of practice and culture they don't differ substantially from the average non JW, and that they will soon enter into a perfect life. They are dreamers.

rebel8

I usually make a rapid exit. I don't want to take the chance that any of them will speak to me in public; then others will realize I know the dubs and I'd be soooo embarassed.

IMO there are very few wrong ways to handle it....and no matter what you do, it will probably make little difference to the dubs.

lilybird

I had a similar experience in a restaurant where I was going to have lunch.. As I walked to my table I had to go right by a table occupied by my very closest JW friend(when I was in the borg) her husband and her sister.All who I have known since I was a child. I stopped briefly to just say "hello, Im just here on my lunch break" (didn't know what else to say) They all smiled weakly at me while looking thru me like I was dead space and then they continued on with their conversation. I found this amusing as the one sister had been disassociated for a while and I would still go and visit her and her baby(her boyfriend was in prison when the baby was born) because her sister(the exbestfriend at the table with her) wanted me to go visit with her.

Anyways. just made me realize how silly and foolish and hypocritical the whole bogus religion makes people become..Also made me really realize how happy I was that I was out of that way of life..

dido

I think the best thing is to ignore them, because what ever you say or do will be hot gossip. Personally, i get irritated when i see them, even ones who i was friendly with, as i know how there minds work, (been there, done it)! I wouldn`t give them the satisfaction of letting them know where you are at. The best thing is to look happy, like you are really enjoying your new freedom.

Why Georgia

Perhaps you could keep some cards in your purse, like business cards with web addresses on them for Freeminds, Silent Lambs and this forum...and some catchy phrase to get their attention at the top.

You could say...Good to see you - here's my business card if you ever want to talk.

Smile and walk away.

I think you handled it well. You didn't do anything bad. They can't say anything about you. It says something that they didn't even blip on your screen to them....

Hugs,

Chrystal

Es

You did well babe,

really i have gotten to the point now where i dont let them effect me, in fact i make a purpose to be seen if i see one at the shops etc....Why should i have to hide from them......I even went to one of the days of the convention last year with hubby and walked round flirting with him, and touching whenever i saw an elder from old congo,. ( I actually only went so that hubby could meet my dad it was the only way it was going to happen)

luv ya

es

Live shunning incident #2

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