What most surprised you about your life after leaving the ORG?

by logansrun 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Been a long time folks. Howdy.

    Here's a question: What has most surprised you about your life after leaving the organization? Is there any disconnect between what you thought it would be like and how it actually is? I realize this question probably can only be answered adequately by those who have been out of the organization for awhile. Here are some surprises that I noticed:

    1) The world is a lot more COMPLEX than I had thought. I remember leaving the organization still carrying with me a style of thinking that can best be described as "categorizing." I still fight this tendency, although my experiences have directed me to realize that the world -- universe, society, culture, even my own mind -- is far more complex and subtler than I had originally thought upon leaving the society. It took me a long time, for instance, to see that not all religious believers are "full of shit" or that one's political inclinations cannot be simplified into a neat dichotomy.

    2) There are a lot of things outside the organization that are just like things inside it. For instance, gossip: pretty much the same outside as well as in, in my experience (I'm just waiting for the "ohh, that's not so" crowd to start railing at this one!). Another example: hierarchy and "do-gooders": same. Ditto for "unwritten rules" (just work in an office or go to a university and this will easily be borne out).

    3) To be frank, I thought some things would have been easier and some things much harder once I was outside the organization. For me: making lasting friendships -- harder; dealing with JW family -- easier.

    Hmmm....I'll think of some more. Care to share?

    B.

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Here's some more surprises that I've experienced:

    Most people are not all that interested in your story as a JW/ex-JW. It's just not that big a deal to them. (usually)

    People are pretty much just as screwed up outside the org as inside it. I've heard so many talk about how many JWs are depressed, alcoholics, etc. As I've noticed, this is a trend outside just as much as in.

    I thought I would really feel a NEED to belong to a group of some kind on leaving the org: religious, political, "apostate" (haha), etc. Not so! I don't necessarily feel a need to belong to any organization, quite frankly. I found this a little surprising. Put another way, I guess I just don't feel a need to be around THAT many people quite that often.

    Forgive my broad brush, folks. These are generalities I'm talking about.

    B.

  • RubaDub
    RubaDub

    I haven't left the ORG and still hit a meeting here and there.

    But in my limited role, I notice that I can walk a city block in a couple minutes that used to take me all morning.

    Rub a Dub

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Hi logansrun, I haven't left either, but I noticed that JWs aren't the only ones who DON'T question their beliefs and are too willing to obey authority figures, relinquishing their personal resonsibility.

  • DHL
    DHL

    How little I knew about REAL life!

    But in my limited role, I notice that I can walk a city block in a couple minutes that used to take me all morning.

    lol @ rubadub

  • cyberdyne systems 101
    cyberdyne systems 101

    That people were not all evil and doing wrong.

    That the Witnesses were one of countless other religions (opinions) who all think they are the right one.

    That unconditional love can be found.

    My outlook on life changed from waiting for the end, to making this life count.

    That my fear and guilt were something placed in my mind by high control methods, and faded once I stopped listening to the propagander.

    That life can be fun.

    I have a mind that I can use to decide things.

    CS 101

  • Hedgehog
    Hedgehog

    JW tell every time they are the most happy people. When i fall sick with chronic fatigue syndrom and depression i thought is was my fault because my faith is not strong enough. But so many brothers and sisters are sick like me. Now i'm a 'world person' i never had CFS symptom anymore. I've made some really friends, this kind of friends you will never meet at KH. Friends who loves me how i am. They are no hypocrite like JW who only spent time with you if you are an pioneer and if you have problems they let you alone.

  • snarf
    snarf

    My financial stabilty improved because I was able to work longer hours.My relationship improved with my daughter cause we had time to sit and talk about her issues and her day, instead of rushing to get ready for a meeting. That "worldly " people liked me for me, not because of some thing they could get from me.

  • luna2
    luna2

    As one who came in as an adult, what I found was that JWs are little different from the world they pretend to be so separate from. It was a huge disappointment. lol Now I'm back to where I started from, older, hopefully wiser, and less trusting.

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Nice to "see" you Bradley.

    Not so much to add, but I agree.

    Growing a taste for nuance takes time.

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