BIG Moral Crisis..... (page 2)

serendipity

((( just some dude )))

The fact that you work together complicates this greatly. If you want to stick to your principles, you really need to cool the relationship until your feelings change and her feelings change. That may mean not speaking to her at work more than you HAVE to for work purposes.

If you go this route, then you should tell her what you're doing and why. It will be uncomfortable for awhile. So you need to get out and distract yourself with other activities.

It is NOT a good thing to pursue this while married. If she 'cheats' on her hubby, she would cheat on you. And she is cheating 'emotionally' because she's developed feelings for you.

Oh well, live and learn. If fidelity is important to you, in the future, consider keeping your distance from married women. At the very least, don't allow yourself to be alone with them. The WTS actually had good advice in this area.

Darth Yhwh

Does her old man have a gun and does he like to shoot? I know that I do and if she was my wife.....well....you get the picture.

MsMcDucket

Man! Dang, you're most definitely in a fine mess now! All I can think of this stupid song by Carl Thomas. (I should change my nick to IHaveASong4U)

Carl Thomas - I Wish Lyrics http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylt=ApAu9_.oenQ6WmAWWdsqgAIJGbgF;_ylu=X3oDMTBkamRjYTdoBHNlYwNiZ2NvbnRlbnQ-/SIG=12tgtk0h4/**http%3a//www.content.loudeye.com/scripts/hurl.exe%3fclipid=025296101030006900%26cid=600109

It was love at first sight
 I know from the way she looked at me
 Her eyes said it all
 Long days and nights, we spent
 Until she dropped the bomb on me
 When she said that she
 Was unhappily married with children

 [CHORUS]
 And I wish I never met her at all
 Even though I love her so
 She got love from me
 But she still belongs to someone else

 It hurts so bad, for sure
 Because she wants to be with me
 But she cannot be with me
 She chose to stay, at home
 So they could be a family
 For the children
 But what about me?

 [CHORUS]

 Maybe in another life
 Things could be the way we both desired
 It's a catch-22
 Either way it went
 Someone had to lose

 [CHORUS (x2 with some adlibbing)]

 I wish I wish I never met her at all
 I wouldn't hurt so much inside
 Oh I wouldn't feel this pain
 If I never met her at all, at all, at all
 Wish I never, wish I never

cognizant dissident

somedude:

You were absolutely right about one thing you said in your post, there is no way for this to end well!

Chalk it up to a beautiful, lonely woman, too much liquor, and a lesson learned. Tell her you don't feel comfortable starting a relationship with her while she is still in a relationship with her husband. Keep it friendly and professional at work. It is possible to be cool at work with someone you formerly made out with (lots of people do it), but you have to be resolved in your own mind that this is not something you consider ethical behaviour or your bound to end up in a repeat of the other night.

I know it's hard as an ex JW to figure out what your moral standards are going to be. I'm struggling with this one myself. JW's are so ridiculously prudish in their morality that they lose credibility. So a lot of ex-JW's think that anything goes for a while. Most societal norms are against cheating spouses though. At least in lip service if not in practice. Not good for the kids. Makes for messy, sometimes murderous divorces. Hey if there are no kids involved and the three of you are into open relationships or threesomes, that's your business. However, if you were really comfortable with this you wouldn't be asking this forum and titling your post "moral crises".

If you really think you love this woman, and she doesn't love her husband, than the onus is on her to end her relationship with him first. If she's not willing to do this without having another man waiting in the wings first, then I agree with Jez, she is emotionally immature and may cheat on you too if you hook up with her. Regardless of what she does, though, you need to know what your standards are. And if you decide to cool it, don't torture yourself by still seeing her socially. You've already shown you can't resist that temptation. You probably don't want to see her for drinks with her husband there either. It would be hard to look him in the face knowing you already made out with her. Plus if she ever told him, he might be really pissed and decide to rearrange your face for you.

Hope this is helpful,

Cog

Carmel

Best of all worlds.... continue with the contact and make a deal with CBS to secretly video it all for a real "reality" show! You could be emotionally tied in a knot and get paid really well for it!

carmel

Gregor

She's the one who has already made a legal committment to someone. (Since her husband travels on business, does she feel he has already been unfaithful? Sometimes this makes a woman feel she is released from her committment) It is for her to go through the ordeal of undoing it if what she feels for you is more love than lust. As for you, if she did crawl over a mile of broken glass for you are you worthy of it? That is to say, do you feel more love than lust? If not, it wouldn't be the first time two people went through hell only tho find out that their hormones couldn't justify the trouble.

Soledad

Keep your distance. If she wants to leave her husband then that is up to her; however, as others have said, past behavior predicts future behavior. No doubt she will one day cheat on you too should you two end up being together. Why put yourself through that?

Relax and don't beat yourself up too much over this. You're a good person. These kinds of situations happen more often than we (society) care to admit.

Spectrum

justsomedude,

one indiscretion isn't the end of the world.
The woman is married, walk away. Find someone else. Maybe she is as great as you say she is but then again how much of her greatness is due to you wanting what you can't have.

I had a boss that was flirting with me no end when I first started working for her. She put me on her team from another team just for this purpose. Anyways, we go out have a great time then she introduces me to her daughter, Ok I say, she is a single mother looking for after-work fun. We say our goodnights (nothing happens) I walk home wandering what happened. She calls me that weekend to go and stay with her at her beach apartment. I get on that train and meet her in her little Med seaside town. I was very excited as to what was going to happen that day - she was a real Italian babe. We go up to her penthouse and standing there to greet me is her husband :(
I managed to very quickly turn my grimace into a smile. I felt bad that I had sexual thoughts about this guys wife.

To cut a long story short my boss basically had an issue with still wanting to feel attracted to the younger guy. That was all, she never had any intentions of going all the way. Her husband knew this about his wife. Of course I lost complete interest when I found out she was married. Married women just don't float my boat. The second time she invited me, her husband was very cold and aggressive towards.

Es

Im with anewme on this one, pretend it didnt happen and prob make sure it doesnt happen again,

I had a friend who got involved with a married man from work, im not sure if they are still together as we lost our friendship pver this. She wanted him to leave his wife and he would suggest that at times and then turn around and say " I cant i have children" and so basically he got his cake and ate it too. She would be over my house crying all the time coz he would have to go home to his wife.

It wasnt a good situation for both of them, what makes it worse is that she was a beautiful girl and was missing out on actually meeting someone that was available, I often wonder how she is going.

All the best with your situation

es

BIG Moral Crisis.....

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