The showy display of one's "friendliness" at the Kingdom Hall

by truthseeker 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  truthseeker

  I recently read the elder's manual, from the rexamine.org website.

  There is an interesting article on how elder's train ministerial servants to "greet" people at the doors. They are told to be friendly to the those in attendance and to arrive early and stay late to associate with the friends.

  In other words, it would seem that the friendliness shown by elders and servants at the halls is more of a duty than a desire to get to know the brothers and sisters.

  Many times, elders and servants have been enthusiastic to me in their greetings only, but rarely stop to engage in conversation.

  They are not interested in people, only an outward appearance of friendliness, which bolsters the image of the org as having genuine love.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  They are not interested in people, only an outward appearance of friendliness, which bolsters the image of the org as having genuine love.

  You are so right! For so many jws the "love amonst themselves" begins and ends at the meeting. They are oh so differrent away from the kh that they are hardly recognisable as alleged Christians. The wts is interested in "bums on seats", and has no interest in the people who fiil the seats, beyond what they are prepared to contribute. I doubt that some elders would recognise a loving act if it hit them full in the face.

  When my bf was a ministerial servant, he received some instruction on how to greet people, especially newcomers at the door. He found it quite bizarre, he is a friendly guy anyway, but they told him that the first impression people get is often the lasting one, and thus he needed instruction, rather than being allowed to be his natural self.
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  truthseeker

  fullofdoubtnow, those were interesting comments.

  I have never been a MS, but I was being groomed for the possibility. One elder told me to stand at the doors and greet people and then go to different ones after the meeting, specifically those who were sitting alone or standing with no one to talk to.

  This becomes a duty rather than utilizing any natural inclination to friendliness.

  It's not a bad thing to encourage people to greet one another, but the fact that this was in the Elder's manual suggests it is another cultish way to make people feel loved and special.
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  truthseeker

  I know that this is a big issue during the Memorial - it's all to impress the newcomers and make them think, "wow, the people were so friendly at the Jehovah's Witness meeting."
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  Joe Grundy

  This happened to me the first two times i went - although i was a 'guest' of my JW friends.

  Last time I went '(memorial)' wore jeans, an FBI polo shirt, and had a cigarette outside. The difference was noticeable.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  Last time I went '(memorial)' wore jeans, an FBI polo shirt, and had a cigarette outside. The difference was noticeable.

  I'll bet it was lol! They probably thought you'd just wandered in off the street for a warm. If you'd lit up in the car park, they would have asked you to put your cig out or leave the premises, politely at first, then forcibly if necessary.
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  parakeet

  I occasionally used to drag my unbeliever husband to meetings when we were first married. By the end of the meeting, he was always sweating profusely even though the room temperature was normal. Only after I left the org did he tell me that he sweated like that because he felt smothered by all the "friendliness" that he instinctively knew was phony. Talk about a bad first impression!
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  M.J.

  Heh heh, kind of reminds me of suggestions put out for college fraternity Rush (recruitment process)...kind of like this one:

  http://tke.org/rush/ideas/10commandments.htm

  Along with this testimonial:

  We are a small chapter (about 8-10 brothers) and so our resources are limited. Therefore, we cannot hold big expensive events that get people in by the dozens. Instead, we rely on our reputation on campus as being a very tight house. I've had rush after rush tell me that they've been to other fraternities and not only heard, but also witnessed first hand how our chapter is so tight. People have mentioned that they sometimes see apathetic and distant brothers at other fraternity events. All of our brothers are always friendly, approachable, and agree that TKE is the best thing that ever happened to them. Another big part of our rush program is that we believe that rush doesn't just mean having events. I make it a point to get every rush's email or screen name, and then invite them out to lunch all the time. This gives them a chance to see us just hanging out, and get to know us more personally. It also gives them a friend when they first come into college. This past rush, we recieved 13 signed bids, more than doubling our brotherhood.
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  james_woods

  Kind of reminds one of that little phony moment in Catholic mass where each one has to turn to the side and "greet" on another...

  if you have to legislate it, then it aint really the real thing.
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  EAGLE-1

  I felt they were fake at the first bible study.I think I was like 12.