Jesus has Arrived--well sort of . . .

by JAVA 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • JAVA
    JAVA

    I just received this, and thought some might enjoy it. BTW, it's a satire and not ture, but fun reading none the less:

    ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
    leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eyewitnesses.

    Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

    "She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgian Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

    "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said.

    She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

    "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

    Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which floated up into the air.

    Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

    When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."

    --JAVA
    counting time at the Coffee Shop

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    This is too wierd.

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

  • jonjonsimons
    jonjonsimons

    Jayhawk,
    Pass me that bottle....I need a drink after reading that...wow!

  • TR
    TR

    Good story, JAVA!

    What's weird is things like this could happen. I remember when Mt. St. Helens blew, many thought that it was armageddon starting. And what about "War of the Worlds". Many actually thought we were being attacked by aliens. Only in America.

    TR

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    Sorry Jonjonsimons, da judge finished it all.

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

  • JAVA
    JAVA

    TR,

    I thought the same thing while reading this satire. You mentioned War of the Worlds and Mt St Helen, and I still remember the mind-set millions of JWs had around 1975. We were sure Jesus was coming too (some put off surgeries and sold business), with less evidence than a toga Jesus and floating sex dolls!

    jayhawk1 & jonjonsimons,

    I hope you're able to consult the spirits in the near future. Rutherford died several years ago, and I understand the supply increased thereafter.

    --JAVA
    counting time at the Coffee Shop

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Hiya, JAVA!

    Where've you been?

    Funny piece of fiction...

    outnfree

    Par dessus toutes choses, soyez bons. La bonte est ce qui ressemble le plus a Dieu et ce qui desarme le plus les hommes -- Lacordaire

  • JAVA
    JAVA

    outnfree,

    Too many posts, too little time. Also, too much crap, not enough toilet paper! Nice seeing you outnfree.

    --JAVA
    counting time at the Coffee Shop

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