"Unevenly Yolked"

pooka

I've posted before about seeing a JW and I am Catholic. Right now we are having the "unevenly yolk" conseveration. Can anyone tell me what percentage of JW's are married to non JW? Or a good guess. #1 I am not an egg. #2 I'm not plowing any fields that I would need a yolk. #3 How can we be uneven if if we both believe in the same God. My heart is being broken because of this.

under_believer

My estimate would be about one in six married to unbelievers. Out of those, probably only one of them got hitched after they were Witnesses. And I guarantee you they caught a LOT of flak for it, too. Just recently a woman in our hall was publically "marked" for carrying on with an unbeliever.

helppls

"I've posted before about seeing a JW and I am Catholic. Right now we are having the "unevenly yolk" conseveration. Can anyone tell me what percentage of JW's are married to non JW? Or a good guess. #1 I am not an egg. #2 I'm not plowing any fields that I would need a yolk. #3 How can we be uneven if if we both believe in the same God. My heart is being broken because of this. "

LaCatolica -

Guess what? I know exactly how you feel! I had to listen to the same "unevenly-yolk-talk" ...let's see...about 20 years ago. And I don't know what percentage of jw's are married to non-jw's, probably not that high...considering that WTS actively discourages members from going out with non-members. And I would think that many non-jw's married to jw's would have a hard time surviving what I call the "wts terror assault". (Just my opinion, though.)

I met my husband before he allowed some (god forsaken) jw's to convert him. That's when my "unevenly yolk" talk started. But I already had strong feelings for him then. I was also Catholic, like you...and a "liberal Catholic" at that. That was my downfall. And I allowed my heart to rule my spirit, so to speak. I allowed him to persuade me to study with jw's and get baptized in jw religion. Today, I am still married to the same man, but I am not an active jw anymore. We are mostly happy and content, enjoying life with our beautiful daughter--except when we're fighting about religion. And I can tell you FOR A FACT, despite my husband's good and loving heart---our life has had many trials and tribulations due to the WTS being the unwanted (by me) "third cord" in our marriage. They all take that "doctrine" to heart. My husband has not had any qualms letting WTS doctrines intrude into every little facet of our family life (or at least he tries everytime)...from what type of job to get, whether to have kids or not and when, how to raise kids, who to be friends with, when and what we can celebrate, when to take vacations, what movies to watch, what music to listen to, bedroom practices, etc. My husband loosened up a little as time went by, especially when I started rebelling (he-he!), but it's been really tough! Marriage is supposed to be a happy state, but it requires a lot of hard work under normal conditions. With WTS leadership trying to insert itself between husband and wife like the proverbial monster (err...mother)-in-law all the time, a successful marriage between a loyalist and a confirmed anti-WTS is almost impossible! Without this religion (all other things constant), I am confident that my family will be a lot more at peace and happy, and my husband and I will have a more peaceful and closer relationship. As it is, I love my husband very much and he says he feels the same...but the WTS and its policies have been ROYAL PAIN in our marriage.

Please remember my story and try to see if there's anything in it that might help you deal with you situation better. If there's anything else I can help you with, don't hesitate to PM me... (I can offer that, thanks to bikerchic...he-he! Private joke!). Good luck to you!

Helppls

helppls

Sorry, wrong addressee---my post was not for La Catolica but for Pooka! Silly me!!!!

serendipity

It's unevenly 'yoked'.

Hi underbeliever, May I ask which country and state you're in? How does one get publically marked?

under_believer

Serendipity, I'm in US, Washington.
The "marking" in this case consisted of this:
Everyone in the congregation knows that this woman is carrying on with an unbeliever. So it's common knowledge. So they have a "special needs" talk, and denounce the behavior she's doing, but don't name her specifically. Then they suggest at the end that such behavior would make someone bad association, and that people would want to limit their "association" with such a person.
It's not very nice at all. Even my wife who is much more "in" mentally than I am had a big problem with it. Even if you accept the proviso that Witnesses shouldn't have romantic relationships with unbelievers, which I find disagreeable, is this really the way to deal with the situation? And if she DOES marry him, what then? Will she be "marked" forever? If so, that's terrible. If not, what was the point of "marking" her in the first place?

FlyingHighNow

I'll tell you right up front: broken hearts mend in about six months. Gradually you will get over him and feel a lot better.

You will make the mistake of your life if you marry this JW. Do you realize he won't want your children to have blood transfusions or celebrate holdiays or go to church with you? That's only a small fraction of the heartaches you will give yourself if you marry a JW man. Run as fast as you can away from this man!

serendipity

Hi underbeliever,

You hit the nail on the head re: the problem with marking in the first place:

And if she DOES marry him, what then? Will she be "marked" forever? If so, that's terrible. If not, what was the point of "marking" her in the first place?

The marking may actually push her into marrying him, if others are limiting their association. This is really sad for her.

looking_glass

In the end even if you are "unevenly yolked" if your mate or significant other is supportive, you will turn to them and away from the "Christian congregation" because they will not support you and will mark you. It is also emotional blackmail.

I have a GF who was married to a JW and he left her .... the long and short of it, the still active male JW tried to get his ex wife in trouble by saying that she was not scriptually free to remarry (even though it was the JW ex-husband who filed the papers and abandoned her). There was all kinds of JC mtgs and discussions with her. Her now husband stood by her and told her whatever she wanted to do, he would support her. She did not get DF'd or DA'd over the whole thing (as her father who use to be an elder/PO found a loop hole for her). She went thru the whole circus show in order to have her parents and other family members go to her wedding (that was her father's condition on going to the wedding, she had to put forth a good faith effort to resolve the matter) and they did go. Her husband is one of the nicest men you will ever meet. Her JW parents even acknowledge that and they LOVE him. My GF does not go to the hall, she does not do anything with the "truth" because in the end, the person who gave her the most support and love during the whole insane JW ex-husband was her current wonderful non-JW husband. Who do you think she is going to turn to. The JWs lose sight that when they beat people upside the head with their religious beliefs, that it just causes people to feel justified when they leave and never look back.

helppls

"It's unevenly 'yoked'." ---Serendipity

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"Yoked"..........right! Hee-heee-heeeeeee! Thanks Serendipity- I stand corrected as well, as I followed Pooka's lead in my post. Consider the (egg) yolk's on my face...

"Unevenly Yolked"

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