Hello

by EyesOpened 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420


    Welcome EyesOpened Thank you for sharing your story. You'll get lots of help and information here.

    Check this out....http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/19/113098/1977845/post.ashx#1977845

    lisa

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy

    Welcome aboard EyesOpened. Stick around awhile, you may change your handle to EyesWideOpened.

    plm

  • Swan
    Swan

    Welcome EyesOpened!

    I feel betrayed for 34 years, feel abandoned by all of my so called friends - who have yet to call or talk to me to ask me why I do not go to meetings anymore... The Elders keep leaving me messages asking me why I am doing this and why don't I just write a letter of DA and "let it happen" so I don't continue to hurt the friends' feelings... the feelings I have for JW's are of disgust and hurt right now - they have ruined my parents family - my 2 sisters are DF'd and I have just recently started talking to them again - why did I submit to the "shunning" for all those years? My parents are so sad - why? because they miss their children - but have to stay "loyal" to Jehovah's organization... what nonsense.

    We have all gone through this or are going through it. You are not alone. I sense your mixed emotions in your post and want you to know that it is okay to feel what you are feeling. As JWs we were told not only how to think, but how to feel. You don't have to feel a certain way about anything any more. Just feel what you feel. Betrayal, anger, sadness, sorrow... it is all a normal to feel those when coming out of a cult.

    Tammy

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    Welcome to the board!
    In addition to many of the information online I will also suggest you get your hands on some of the more high profile books written about the organization, its teachings and policies. Both of Ray Franzs books are must reads, as well as some of the ones written by Carl O. Jonsson. Whatever you do keep on the track you are on know, it is the best possible path.
    The MOST IMPORTANT THING is that you realize that this process takes time. Read my first post on this board, you will see that I was nervous and reserved when it came to the issues. In time you the bonds will loosen and you will gain your freedom. Don't rush the process. I give you my best.
    -drew

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    Welcome, eyes opened. Your story sounds very much like mine.
    My parents were baptized in 1963 - as was I at age 11. Pioneer at 18, MS at 20, elder at 26, lots of "privileges." I started to leave in my mid-40s. Totally out for several years now. It was the 1914 generation change that pushed me over the edge.
    After not attending meetings for 6 years or more, an elder and the CO came to where I was living, catching me by surprise. We talked for a couple of hours, and they wanted me to DA myself as well.
    I also refused, stating that I no longer considered myself a JW, and didn't view them as having any authority over me, and I wouldn't cooperate with a system of disfellowshipping and shunning that I felt was shaming and essentially evil.
    At one point the CO said, "Why don't you just be a man and DA yourself." I remained polite, but what gall to say that to me in my own house. I so wanted to grab him and bounce his fat ass right out the front door, but I stayed in control.
    Losing all my "friends" was difficult, as I'm very outgoing and gregarious, but life has been great, and having the freedom to think and act in harmony with reason and intelligence instead of being told what to think and believe is simply wonderful.
    I wish you all the best, and if you want to talk, just PM me.
    S4

  • anewme
    anewme

    Welcome Eyesopened!

    I left the borg in 2001. But I made little progress until I found this forum last year. In the past year I have healed quite a bit and no longer refer to myself as an ex witness.

    Every day I visit this board and heal some more.

    I am forgetting the pain of the past!


    Again welcome,

    Anewme

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Hi eyes opened, welcome to the forum! I can't add to the advice since I felt more relief than anything learning 'the truth about the truth', but I hope that your spiritual journey is as smooth as can be expected. Also, please get involved in hobbies, etc to get out and meet people so that you can build a social network to replace the one you lost.

  • dido
    dido

    Hi Eyesopened, when you first leave you feel very raw, and it is so hard to adjust, as there is such a big void isn`t there?. I went for 3 years without any help at all, as i was too scared to look on `apostate` sites, (that name used to freak me out!) and only the past year have started looking on the net at different sites. I have only been on here a few days, as i thought it was a site for jw`s, and didn`t know it was for ones who were leaving or had left. I have found it to be very therapeutic just knowing how mant of us there is, and that we all feel the same, and we are not wicked people, in fact a darn site better than that lot we`ve just left! So hope it helps you as it is helping me and others, looking forward to your postings, Dianne

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty


    Dear Eyesopened,

    Welcome to the board!! I am so happy you found this sight because here you WILL find friends. Many of whom have and are going through the EXACT same feelings as you are right now! My husband and I were both raised in the organization. We were also both third generation Witnesses. My parents left 2 years before we began questioning things too. My husbands parents are still in, and are at the head of the linching mob. We are not disfellowshipped, and have not written a letter of disassociation either. However, because my in-laws made it known to everyone we were having doubts, all our so called friends are shunning us. We have waited for 4 months and 8 days for the Elders return to answer our questions we posed. Still nothing. We have had people 4 states away call because of the gossip they have heard. It is so amazing how much everyone loves to gossip, yet only one very elderly brother called when we first stopped attending to let us know we were missed. A couple of days ago my brother, the only sibling still in, saw my mother at Walmart. She came up to him to say hello and went to hug him and he put his hand out and put his head down and said "No, mom! Your an apostate, no!" She told him she could not believe he wouldn't talk to her, and that he was choosing to believe gossip over actually finding out what my parents really DO believe. She told him Jehovah and Jesus would not approve of his behavior, and Saten has him right where he wants him. It is just so...sad! The Elders have told him we are all apostate, and so he is taking his stand! It is so heartbreaking! Yet, he is just following Watchtower policy. Just like your parents are. Hang in there though. There is hope. Pray for Jehovah to open their hearts. It took two years for my husband and I before we gave my parents a chance to really talk with us. My husband was a MS, and we were VERY active. So if we can finally see through everything, there is hope for others. We were really hard nuts to crack. We also know how you feel about feeling you have lived a lie. We feel the same way. There really is very little that I have found scriptural support for on so many issues. Once you realise you have been lied to, you question EVERYTHING! And really we should have been doing that all along! As the scriptures tell us, to" Make sure of ALL things." Take it slow, there are some amazing people here, that are extreemly knowledgable! When I first discovered the 607 issue, I didn't take ANYONES word. I checked and double checked EVERYTHING. Now I am sure of what I believe. And I have the facts behind my beliefs. But there is still much more I need to research too! I have concluded that NO ONE has all the answers except Jehovah and his son. There is much we will never know. Unlike what I always believed, the Society had an answer for everything. Now after reading context, I know they don't either! If you want to read our story, it is under my membership name, Lady Liberty, under topics, entitled, "Its high time I intrduced myself". Please let us know how you are doing! Please find comfort in knowing you are NOT alone! And again, welcome!

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

  • White Waves
    White Waves

    eyesopened - you are so welcome here!! We all have similar struggles and yet are diverse. Together we all support each other. I have learned so much and healed so much faster since I found this site. The best to you and your journey!!

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